


all i know is that i'm lost in your fire below

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: College AU, Coming Out, Everyone's a girl, F/F, Female Liam, Female Louis, Genderswap, Girl Direction, Light Smut, just nonsense really, lots of fluff, lots of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis really loves Liam and Liam (maybe) loves her back, Niall really loves Zayn and Zayn doesn't notice, and Harry's the R.A. who notices everything and just loves everybody. </p><p> </p><p>title from ink by coldplay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all i know is that i'm lost in your fire below

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stilinskiandhisjeep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinskiandhisjeep/gifts).



> just some more fem!lilo schmoop because it is honestly not appreciated as much as it should be
> 
> it's americanized because i'm american so.
> 
> also i don't know why it's so long it just happened

Louis watches as her mom's car drives away, a minivan with those stupid stick figure decals on the back for each member of the family, drifting farther away with each second. She wonders if they'll peel the one with the perky ponytail and soccer ball off now that she's gone, away from home for practically four years of her life.

She sighs and picks up her last suitcase and her backpack, stepping onto the campus green of her new school, walking towards the building she'll be living in for the next year of her life, the start of her future.

It had been stressful enough to even apply to college, much less to actually be accepted somewhere (her grades aren't the best) and even more terrifying to be in a dorm of all _girls_. The high school locker rooms were enough proof that no one was comfortable changing in front of a girl who could be attracted to them, how is she supposed to live with all these girls, with a community bathroom, and everyone be okay with it? And she's already seen some of the girls in her building, and she tries to keep her mind as impartial and clean as possible, but they're all so — _fuck_ , not that the feeling will be reciprocated. So, yeah, she's not too thrilled about starting college.

Louis makes it up to the fourth floor of Dawson Hall, tugging her suitcase behind her as she gets out of the elevator. She barely takes a step out before a tall, curly haired brunette is standing in front of her with a perky smile on her face, one hand stretched out to shake, the other gripping a sparkly purple clipboard. Louis would want to fuck her as much as the other girls if she wasn't so annoyingly chipper while Louis' world is crashing down.

"Hi, I'm Harry, I'll be your dorm advisor this year. What's your name?"

Louis takes her hand to shake. "Louis." She drops Harry's hand and picks up her stuff again, but Harry has an eyebrow raised at her, and then Louis realizes. "Tomlinson," she gives her last name.

Harry looks at her clipboard. "Great. Here you are. You're roomed with Zayn Malik. Do you know your room number?"

"Yeah, 414, my stuff's already in it," Louis says, trying to inch her way towards it.

She nods, tucking some hair behind her hair. "Okay, cool. I'm in 410 if you need anything, so just knock. That's what I'm here for. And we have a meeting today at five, right here in the lobby. It's already on the calendar in your room, you'll get a new one each month. But we'll talk about that later."

"Okay, thanks," Louis says, finally able to head to her room. She can already hear Harry greeting some other poor freshman before she even makes into the hall of rooms. She seemed nice enough, maybe Louis is just in a bitchier mood than normal. She really needs to start giving people the benefit of the doubt, it's gonna bite her in the ass one day, especially now that she's gonna meet her roommate for the next year, and all these people on her floor. From the sound of what Harry said, it seems like they are going to be around each other quite a lot. Louis gulps at the thought and continues on to her room feeling even more nervous than before. 

She's almost at her door when someone bumps into her, crashing her into the wall, her stuff falling to the floor.

"Christ, I'm sorry," Louis hears and looks up to see a cute blonde offering her hand. Louis takes it and let's herself be pulled up.

"It's okay," she says, trying to smile. "No biggie."

"Shit, I made you spill all your stuff, lemme help you with that." The girl bends down and starts to collect the contents of Louis' backpack — which she could've sworn she zipped up — and is done before Louis can even process it was more tampons and make up than notebooks and pencils. 

"Oh, uh, thanks, you didn't have to do that," Louis says, taking her bag back from her.

She shrugs, blowing a bubble of her gum. "Least I could do. I'm Niall, by the way. My clumsy ass is in 417. Where are you?"

"Louis. And l'm right here, actually." She gestures to the door on her right. 

"Oh, cool. That's one of the best rooms, it's like the second biggest on the floor." She grabs Louis' suitcase and starts pulling it in for her. Louis is sensing a lack of boundaries from this girl, but it's friendly, and Louis doesn't have to tug that damn suitcase anymore.

Louis was surprised at the size when she first walked in, but she thought everyone else's was like that too. "Really? Who's got the biggest?" She follows Niall into the room, expecting to hear Harry's name.

"That would be moi," she says proudly. "Which bed is yours?"

"Uh," Louis looks around, earlier she had just put her stuff in the middle of the room, not wanting to claim anything until she met her roommate. But she obviously had other ideas and plopped all her stuff on the bed farthest from the door, which Louis wanted. She sighs. "This one." She points to the one in the corner to her right. No matter, she can move it to the other side later, she'll switch it with the desk so that way it's by the window, and away from the hallway. She tosses her backpack on the bed and Niall follows suit with her luggage. "Thanks."

"No problem," Niall says, before promptly throwing herself back on the bed. "Your roommate is hot, by the way. I saw her bring her stuff in earlier." She pops another bubble.

"Yeah?" Louis says, sitting next to her, trying not to hyperventilate because of fucking course her roommate is hot, the one thing she was most worried about will be staring her right in the face for a year straight. She decides she needs to get drunk after this floor meeting they have tonight.

Niall almost whistles. "Yeah, seriously gorgeous. I'd ask her out, but I have to test the waters a bit, see if she'd go for that. Otherwise I'll just be staring at her like a lost puppy the whole year, which is not attractive, by the way, word of advice, don't ever do that," she side glances at Louis as she rambles on, "My friends back home made sure to take the piss out of me every time someone hot walked by, but I can't fucking help it if I've been single this long, honestly don't understand why, too. I've made it pretty clear I'm available." She shakes her head back and forth on the bed, bewildered.

It was a lot for Louis to process, but only one thing stuck to her and she can't stop herself from asking, "So, what, you're into girls, then?"

"Yeah, and guys, not like it'll help me out here, I'm telling you, I've seen a few of them here," she purses her lips and shakes her head.

"No good?" Louis asks, even though she's not interested in them in the slightest.

"Nah, especially compared to the girls in this building. Jesus, this floor here alone was enough to make me change my undies the second after moving in, I'm telling ya. And you're roommate, number one on the list." Now she actually whistles, low and long.

Louis laughs a little. "Well now I have to see this girl soon, then. Sounds to me like I'm gonna need a new roommate." Louis knows she just outed herself, and half of her brain makes her chew her lip and think _oh shit why did i say that_ , but then the other half of her brain thinks she doesn't care, if Niall can be this open about it literally five minutes after meeting her, then she should be, too. But she's still got clammy hands because Niall isn't saying anything just looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

But she doesn't comment on it, just shrugs a little and continues on with the conversation. "Well, if it ever gets a little too hot in here you can always come spend the night in my room, I'm sure my roommate won't mind, we do have the biggest room after all."

And Louis is grateful. She knows Niall knows, and Niall didn't make her feel weird about it in any way, and she thinks _hey, this is college, not high school_ and she thinks she could be okay here.

"Thanks," Louis smiles.

Niall smiles back, blowing a bubble again, before she pops it and herself up. She looks Louis in the eye. "Wait, one condition, you gotta describe in exact detail exactly what it was that made you wanna come over. Every. Single. Detail."

Louis shoves her. "Jesus, no, you perv. If it's enough to make me leave the room, what makes you think I can repeat it to you?"

Niall throws her head back and laughs. "Shit, I was kidding. You're too easy."

"I could say the same about you," Louis teases, raising her eyebrows.

Niall shrugs. "Not really, I just need to get laid."

Louis shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Well I can't help you there, I barely know you. Ask Zayn when she gets here, or your roommate."

"I will. Don't doubt it." Niall wiggles her eyebrows and Louis laughs, wondering how the hell she got so comfortable around this girl in just a few minutes. 

"Christ, my roommate is cute, too. But I don't know, I'm sure she's straight as a pencil. What a disappointment, too."

"Really? I could help you test it out. You gotta show me your oh-so-fantastic-big-ass room anyways. Should I change my top? Stick my tits out a little more?" She pushes them up with her hands as Niall looks her over.

"Nah, you're good. If your cheekbones don't do it, I don't know what will." She stands up.

Louis wants to take the compliment — is it a compliment? — but she doesn't quite agree. "Well, then, we'll bring Zayn in as back up." She stands up as well, heading towards the door. 

Niall chuckles. "Fuck, yeah." And then, "Jesus Christ!"

"What?" Louis turns back, thinking something's wrong, but Niall just circles behind her, twisting her body back.

"Shit, your _ass_. Make sure she sees that and we won't need Zayn for back up. Christ." She runs a hand through her hair and pops another bubble, still staring downwind.

Louis just smirks, she's always taken pride in her ass. It's got her far in life. "Come on, Niall, you'll start drooling."

"Yes, ma'am," Niall complies and they both laugh.

They get to 417 after pushing through the crowd of girls with all their crap, and kind of stumble into the room. 

"Shit," Louis breathes out when she takes a look at it. It's like one of her room and then half of that added on. It's fucking huge, it should be a suite. Louis has a feeling she'll be over regardless of what Zayn is doing.

"Right, I told ya. Huge." Niall opens her arms wide and marvels at all the space.

Then it happens. She hears a light laugh and turns around to see someone who is just more than whatever Niall thinks is the definition of cute. She's got soft, wavy, brown hair, cut in layers that end at her shoulders, and a kind face, and her eyebrows are furrowed and her nose is scrunched up and she briefly resembles a small pup, Louis thinks, young and naïve. And her eyes looks like chocolate and her lips are pink and plump and then she calls out, "Thanks, Harry," in the sweetest voice that reverberates through Louis' entire being and makes her want to run through some fucking flowers because, _fuck_ , she is beyond cute. She is … extraordinarily impossible, the way she's got Louis' mind faltering in just five seconds, no knowledge of her effect whatsoever. And then she looks at Louis and she freezes in her spot, but the girl barely looks her over before smiling behind her to Niall and setting whatever box she was holding down on her bed, bending over in her almost-too-tight skinny jeans and light blue blouse and shit, is Louis in trouble.

"Liam!" Niall exclaims, making Louis jump a little, getting her out of her trance from the curve of Liam's — Liam, that's a nice name — hips and the way her blouse rides up a little as she pulls something out of the box, the tiniest strip of pale skin peeking out. Louis gulps. "This is Louis. She lives in 414. The second biggest room. Louis, this is Liam, my roommate." Niall says, standing between the two, gesturing back and forth.

"Hi," Liam smiles and Louis has the overwhelming urge to smile twice as big and then giggle like a little girl, but she somehow manages not to. 

"Hey," she says instead, sticking her hands in her back pockets. She remembers she's supposed to be testing her, but she has no idea what to say. "I hope you don't mind, but Niall said I could stay here some nights if I couldn't handle my roommate." 

"Oh, why, is she one of those sex crazy ones?" Liam questions, scrunching her nose again, but in a different way, and Louis wants to snort at her choice of words, and her slight disgust with what she was insinuating, she seems so innocent, and Louis wants to change that.

"Liam," Niall cuts in. "She _is_ the sex." And then Liam looks confused and Louis wants nothing more than to run over and pinch her cheeks with the way they round out when she makes that face, but then it's gone, because then she gets it, and says, "Oh." An uncomfortable shake of the head. "Is she hot, then?"

"Big time." Niall nods and flops back on her bed, gazing at the ceiling.

"Louis?" Liam says and Louis could melt just from the way she said her name alone, the way it rolled off her tongue so effortlessly and... perfectly, not to mention the way she's looking at her with her big brown eyes.

"Hm?" Louis almost squeaks.

"How hot is she?" 

"Oh, uh..." Louis trails because well, she doesn't actually know, and two, she's trying to figure out if her question has more meaning behind it, because if it does, there's hope for Louis, and if Zayn is really as hot as Niall says she is, then she wants to tell Liam she looks like a troll, so Louis glows compared to her.

"Come on, I need to know how much Niall will be drooling over her," she laughs a little, not even knowing that those fourteen words just crushed Louis into tiny pieces. 

Louis clears her throat. "Uh, I don't know actually. I haven't seen her yet."

"Oh," Liam tuts her bottom lip out a bit. "Well, then, Ni, you gotta make sure to point her out to me at the meeting tonight."

"Believe me," Niall starts, looking at the ceiling and popping another bubble, "I don't need to point her out. You'll know who it is."

Liam just chuckles, releasing more breath than actual laughter, which is more just fondness for Niall's character. She turns back to the box on her bed, unloading the textbooks from it. Louis doesn't know what to do with herself, she knows she should unpack herself, but she doesn't wanna leave. She can't help but want to stay enveloped in this foreign warm sugar cinnamon feeling that crept over her as soon as Liam walked in the room, smelling the vanilla in her hair the second she cleared the threshold. But she can't just keep _staring_ at Liam, she'll drool. 

Not to mention make a fool of herself for someone who is completely not interested. Just what she was afraid of, and she can't get herself to pull her eyes away from the soft curves of Liam's torso and shoulders and calves for her own good. She's enthralled, and she would find it sad if it didn't feel so damn good.

Niall coughs. "Louis?"

Louis faces Niall, her body turning quicker than her head, until she finally tears her eyes away. Niall's giving her a funny look, like a knowing look, but there's nothing for her to know, Louis thinks, they only just met. It's almost a smirk. 

"Yeah?" Louis says.

She takes a moment to respond, slowly smacking her gum. "Need help unpacking?" 

"Oh, um," she glances back at Liam, who got lost somewhere in the midst of a book, before looking back at Niall. "Yeah, sure."

~

Niall won't stop nudging Louis with her shoulder, but probably because Louis won't stop glancing at Liam. She's changed clothes, into some gray shorts and a purple top, and shit does purple look good on her. It might be Louis' favorite color now, with the way her chestnut locks just brush the shoulders of her shirt, the way her eyes somehow look warmer than they did earlier, it makes Louis think of chocolate cupcakes with purple fondant bows just made as party favors, a treat. Then Louis thinks trick or treat, and she would love to get her hands on Liam to teach her some tricks. 

"What?" Louis says to Niall, for the fifth time, tearing her eyes away from where Harry and Liam talk animatedly. 

"You know what," Niall nudges her again, her eyes darting back and forth between her and Liam.

"No, I really don't," Louis says back, trying to play it coy. But how could she at this point, they've been sitting here for twenty minutes, waiting for the meeting to start, and Louis' been looking one way for nineteen of them. 

Niall scoffs. "Sure you don't." She wiggles her eyebrows and does that v thing with her fingers on either side of her mouth, her tongue flat out between them. She wiggles her tongue and makes obscene noises, earning a shove from Louis — even though she got most of her satisfaction in high school from doing the same to all the dick oriented girls in the locker rooms, even across classrooms. It's fun to watch them squirm. 

"Bite me," Louis quips while Niall is clutching her stomach in laughter, her long, blonde locks grazing the lobby floor.

She leans back on her elbows, clicking her tongue at Louis. "Gladly. Right back here if you're offering." She pats Louis' butt. 

Louis barely has time to think of a retort when a "Hey," is addressed to them.

Louis looks up and shit, it's Zayn, and fucking Christ, is she hot. Louis doesn't even need to ask her name, she knows it's her, especially given all Niall's relayed to her. She's got olive skin and black hair, almost as long as Niall's, and she's wearing some red, sheer tank with black shorts, and her feet are bare and as tan as the rest of her, her toenails painted gold just like her fingernails. She's got amber eyes and crazy long eyelashes, and wayyy better cheekbones than Louis, she's sure Niall will have to retract her comment from earlier. And add in the whimper she hears from Niall, it's definitely Zayn.

"H-hi," Louis responds, her voice high. 

"You're Louis, right? My roommate, I'm Zayn. Liam told me where I could find you," she says, sitting down next to Louis, stretching out her legs. Everything about this girl just screams _out of your league, Louis_ and Louis would be more interested in trying to land her anyways if she hadn't mentioned, oh yeah, Liam, the cute one that's out of her league in a totally different way.

"Liam?" Louis squeaks, she couldn't help herself. Niall snickers.

"Yeah, the one over there with Harry. Our advisor or some shit? Like we need that, we already had that ridiculous orientation, how much more do we need to know? At least she's cute." Zayn leans back and bites her lip, looking over Harry... and Liam?

Louis' not sure of the noise that comes out of Niall's mouth, it's like a moan and a whimper and a gasp all at once, and Louis knows she's probably ready to explode with the way Zayn basically made it pretty clear that she'd "go for that" with Niall, as she said earlier.

"Anyway, when's this meeting gonna start? I've got shit to do. And I desperately need a smoke." She huffs, blowing some hair out of her face. "You're welcome to join me, if you want." She turns to Louis and Niall.

Louis can _feel_ the yes rolling off of Niall's tongue before she even opens her mouth. 

"No, thanks. We gotta finish unpacking and... stuff," Louis interjects, putting a hand in front of Niall's legs to stop her from pouncing or whatever it is she could do. They never actually unpacked much before the meeting, just laughed and told stories and talked about what this year was going to be like.

Zayn shrugs. "Suit yourself." 

Niall slaps Louis' arm, mouthing a _what the hell did you do that for_ , her eyebrows scrunched with anger and probably a little incredulity. Louis just shakes her head; it wouldn't have been a good idea for Niall to go with Zayn, especially alone. And Louis knows she would end up going with her, and she doesn't need to be surrounded by anymore weed and cigarettes, not after all her high school ventures on choice days, particularly when the teachers were being more annoying than usual, or when the other girls were just too homophobic, but usually just weekends and summers. She doesn't even remember the summer before senior year, she's pretty sure she barely went home, being too baked to even make it out of the warehouse, her friends let her crash on their couches. 

And who knows where the night would've gone if they went with Zayn. Louis' almost certain she'd become a third wheel while Niall tries to get in Zayn's pants, and it's their first fucking night here, it's not smart. And Louis' usually not one to make smart choices.

Niall's still glaring at Louis through Harry's introduction. _Finally we can get this over with_ , Louis thinks, sighing exasperatedly both because of this and Niall's staring.

"Niall, what's the matter?"

Louis looks over and sees Liam on the other side of Zayn, face scrunched up _again_ , a quizzical expression on her face. Zayn is poking at her thigh, making Liam giggle, and Louis can't explain it, but she's — _jealous_. She's mad and she's only spoken two sentences to the girl. 

Niall's face softens and she shakes her head. "Oh, nothing, just thinking." 

Liam nods and goes back to whispering with Zayn.

" _About how I'm going to kill you_ ," Niall says just for Louis and Louis can't help but laugh.

"You'll thank me later." She pats Niall's thigh.

"How in the —"

"Alright, if everyone could look up here so we can get this meeting started!" Harry calls from the front, nails clacking against her clipboard. 

"Yeah, shush, Niall," Louis says over dramatically, snickering at Niall's twisted face. She thumps Louis on the shoulder.

"Okay, so, welcome!" Harry beams, opening her arms wide. "If you don't already know, I'm Harry, I'm your dorm advisor for the fourth floor of Dawson Hall. Now, um, just a few general rules and housekeeping ordeals and that, most of it is on your floor calendars this month, just helpful tips as you get adjusted." She tucks some hair behind her ear and clears her throat, glancing up at Liam who gives her a reassuring smile. "Okay, so the bathroom..."

The rest of Harry's lecture is mostly of Niall throwing lint from the carpet at Louis, and Louis swatting her away while she tries to scope out Liam and Zayn. Harry keeps looking to Liam as she talks, and Louis thinks they could be together, or that they're friends or something, anything, besides the first option. Zayn keeps trying to speak with Liam, and Liam does respond every now and then, her and Zayn giggling lightly and poking at each other, but she does her best to keep listening to Harry. Then Louis thinks Liam and Zayn might be together, and she can't stop her nose from scrunching up or her blood boiling at the thought. She's probably just jumping to conclusions, but the lack of a definite answer will drive her wild, and she wants to ask Zayn, but she can't do that — how do you even do that without making it obvious? And then Louis just wishes they would kiss or something so she can get the answer she needs, but then, no, no, no, she doesn't. _She_ wants to kiss Liam, not Zayn. She wants to press her lips against Liam's bubblegum pink and plump ones, not minding the sparkles that would be left on hers from Liam's gloss, wants to press herself against Liam and tangle her hand in her hair and run another over her cheeks and kiss away any differences Louis can see they already have. 

Then Niall is noticing, because for one, Louis has been staring to her left the whole damn meeting, and she's not paying attention to her lint peltings anymore, and Niall can't have that. 

"Jesus, why don't you just finger yourself right here, it'd be much more subtle," Niall suggests in a hushed tone.

Louis slaps her arm. "Shut up. Like you weren't just fawning over Zayn. You actually moaned at one point, do you remember? Or do you need me to act it out for you?" She opens her mouth to mock Niall, but Niall slaps a hand over her mouth. Rather loudly. And hard. And _ow_. 

Harry stops her speech to give them the side eye, eyebrows raised, to which they scramble apart, laughing softly when Harry goes back to her talk of dorm checks or whatever.

"Okay! So that's it, really. Just remember those few things and you should be fine," Harry says, looking through the papers on her clipboard.

"What?" Niall whispers to Louis and they laugh, neither one of them having listened at all. 

"Oh! Last thing," Harry gets their attention again, an excited smile on her face. "So, here at Dawson, we like to have floor competitions." Half of them are confused, and half of them groan; that doesn't faze Harry though. "What that means is throughout the year we have random, fun, little competitions, like art projects and water balloon fights and stuff like that, really." Now, even more groan, while a few — including Liam — sit up straighter in interest. "It's actually really fun. I was in Robertson Hall last year, and we did them, too. That's why I wanted to be an advisor here, really. But, um, it's us and Robertson, they have their own competitions we come up with, and they come up with ours, and we advisors judge each others. And at the end the top two floors of each building go against each other. Last year, my floor won, so I'm really hoping you guys make that happen again." 

She grins broadly at the more and more girls whose interests are peaked. "So, um, next meeting, which is at the end of next week, we get our first competition, and there'll be a big ranking board by the elevator downstairs. And we'll talk about all that and everything, next time. Okay, so I know you're all probably tired or have to finish your rooms, or whatever it is. So, I'm gonna let you go, just remember I'm in 410 if you need me, and uh, remember classes don't start until Monday, so, you still have the weekend and everything to get adjusted, check out the quad, bookstore, cafeteria, stuff like that. Alright, um, so welcome, again. You're dismissed."

Everyone gets up immediately, but somehow Liam's quicker on her feet and already going over to Harry before Louis can even blink. She sees Harry biting her nails, a worried and nervous expression on her face, and Liam's already to there to rub her hand over her back in small circles. Louis watches them for a while, a little in admiration for Liam, a little in concern for Harry, and a little in curiosity to see if they kiss or something, but they never do, so Louis takes that to mean they're just friends. 

"You sure you don't want to come?" Zayn asks, flicking some dirt out of her nails. 

Louis nods. "Yeah, I should really stay. But thanks, anyways."

She nods, and it's not judgmental or condescending, just accepting. "Okay, cool. Niall, was it? How about you?"

Niall's mouth is practically watering. "I, uh..." Louis stares her down, and Niall sighs. "No, thanks."

"Alright, well I'll see you back at the room, then." Zayn smiles and turns around, her hair flicking behind her as she walks towards the elevator. Liam waves bye as she passes before continuing to talk with Harry.

Niall laughs from beside Louis. 

"What?" she asks Niall, laughing a little herself at Niall's sudden guffaw.

"You've got it so bad." She shakes her head.

"Oh, fuck off." Louis shoves Niall down the hallway. She can't help but think this year is gonna be great, though.

~

They split off to finish decorating their rooms, Louis pinning up posters from plays she's done, or teams she likes, or her favorite bands. She also hangs some photos of her sisters and mom, she knows she'll miss them much more than she'll ever admit. She's moved the desk to where she wants it, setting up her books and laptop on it — she doesn't know why she tries, it'll be a complete mess by the end of the week. She's put away her clothes and any extra crap she doesn't really have a place for in her closet, shoving her suitcases in there as well. All she has left to do is move her bed, which is why she decides to bother Niall and get her to help.

But Niall isn't there. Just Liam, laying on her bed, scrolling through her laptop. Louis tries to sneak away before she sees, but she ends up knocking into the door frame instead.

 _Idiot_.

"Hey," Liam smiles at her. "What's up?"

"Oh, uh, is Niall here?" Louis' eyes dart around, hoping Niall will just materialize in a spot she's overlooked. 

Liam shakes her head, sitting up. "Nope, she just went to shower. Did you need help with anything?"

Louis takes this moment to look at her side of the room, baby blue and soft green wall accents, neat and tidy, pictures and quotes. Everything is so... _cute_. It's orderly — which Louis is not, and neither is Niall from the looks of her side of the room, CDs and posters strewn about, not put away yet. But the way Liam has everything set up, like each thing she owns has a place where it belongs, and it's supposed to be there and always will be, and there's care put into her system, really, it makes Louis feel warm. Her walls and bedding are soft and make Louis calm, remind her of the sky and the ocean and all things peaceful and she thinks she could stare at it forever.

Then, of course, she realizes Liam's still staring at her. "Oh, um, I just need to move my bed. It's too heavy."

"I could help you." It's not really a suggestion, considering Liam's already up and walking over to Louis, a bright smile on her face. She whisks past her, Louis briefly catching that vanilla scent before she's too distracted by the graze of Liam's arm on hers, and then she's left with an open mouth still at the door while Liam's already halfway down the hall. "You coming?" Liam asks, and Louis thinks, she's very close to doing just that, just another flick of Liam's hair or bat of eyelashes and she definitely will be. 

Louis swallows. "Yeah." 

"Where are you moving it?" Liam asks when she steps in the threshold.

"By the window; I don't like it by the door, it's a little too invasive," Louis explains, her face twisting a little at the thought of having to sleep right by the doorframe, adjacent to the old lock and thin walls and _everyone_ in the hall, no thanks.

"Really? I don't mind it," Liam says and then Louis remembers hers is in the same spot Louis' is and she doesn't know how to respond to that. 

"Just a habit of mine, I guess," Louis shrugs. "I've got five sisters and a brother, I love them, but I need my privacy."

"Yeah, I understand that," Liam nods, tucking some hair behind her ear. "I've got two older sisters and they were _always_ badgering me. Barging into my room and whatnot." She laughs a little, nostalgic despite it all.

"I'm the oldest so I was usually the one doing all the barging. For a while, at least." Louis frowns; somewhere around freshman year she started closing her door and plugging in her headphones more. "Then of course, I couldn't get them to leave me alone." She chuckles, despite it all, too.

"Are these them?" Liam asks, pointing to one of the pictures Louis tucked behind a poster. She leans in close, mouth parted as her eyes scan over a Christmas photo Louis suddenly can't remember the year of.

"Yeah," Louis smiles, going to look at it as well. She's impossibly close to Liam, she can feel her body heat reaching out to her in soft tendrils, hear her breath with each exhale, and Louis swears she sees it fan over the picture, clouding over Louis in that ridiculous Santa hat, marking her just like she is now. Louis clears her throat. "That's me, my mom, stepdad, and this was before the other twins were born, and before he was my stepdad, really."

"Do you like him?" Liam asks, looking at Louis and Louis tries not to stare back, but it'd be rude not to share some bit of eye contact, but she regrets it the minute she turns her head, getting lost in Liam's brown irises. 

She shakes her head out of her daze. "Uh, yeah, he's great. Much better than..." Louis stops herself, not wanting to go into all that, she doesn't like to think about all the heartbreak everyone's had to face over the years. "He's good to us," is what she finishes with.

And Liam doesn't press it further, doesn't make Louis say anything she doesn't want to. "That's nice. Family's important."

And Louis looks her right in the eye — finding _some_ resolve not to melt into a puddle — and smiles. 

"Yeah, it is." Liam sends her the same smile and goes over to Louis' bed, and Louis follows suit. 

"Speaking of families, since Harry said that's what we're going to be here, what's with these competitions or whatever?" They lift the mattress off together, setting it against the wall.

"Oh, it's just these silly little things." Liam says, stopping in front of the now empty bed frame. "It could be fun, I think. They're not too bad. And Harry's really excited about it, said it was her favorite part of last year. Lift on three?" She grabs for her leg of the backboard, setting another hand in the middle of the side for support. 

"Um, let's try dragging it out, and then I can lift from the front end," Louis suggests, getting into position. They pull the bed away from the wall, an ugly scraping noise emitting from the friction, but thankfully no scratches on the floor. "So do you know Harry, then?" Louis takes the opportunity to casually throw the question out there, even though she's hopelessly desperate for the answer. She moves the headboard and they count "1, 2, 3," in unison and lift, quickly shuffling to the other side of the room.

Liam wipes her hands together, shaking them out from the pressure of the wooden frame indentations once it's on the floor again. "Yeah, she's friends with my sister. I've known her for about three years, I think. I visited her a lot last year, already planning on coming here. She's a good friend of mine."

"Oh, that's cool." Louis nods, feeling relieved. 

"Yeah, it is. And she's our dorm advisor! How weird is that?" Liam's eyes scrunch up in delight and confusion, and Louis wants to be the reason she smiles like that, all the time.

Louis just smiles back. "Okay, now we've gotta turn it." She looks at the bed, the footboard is perpendicular to the big window, the bed sticking out awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah, right." Liam goes to the other side of the footboard, ready to rotate the bed so the headboard is against the wall. They end up dragging more than lifting, that horrible scraping sound echoing throughout the room again. But it gets the task done, and quick. 

"So, what's your major?" Louis asks as they put the mattress back on the bed; she doesn't ask, but Liam helps her make it, already grabbing the pack of sheets before she can say thank you.

"Oh, um, I haven't decided if I want to do like, teaching stuff, or music stuff, but then I think I should be a music teacher, but I don't know." Liam sighs, folding the top sheet over. "It could be fun, and I love kids, it's just... I always wanted to, like, make music, and sing, and stuff like that, but, what could be more important or gratifying than watching a kid learn because you taught them? Like, watching them try to remember lyrics and match the beat, and then the smile on their face when they finally get it. Like, I did that, or I could, at least. But then, what if I could get a record deal or something? I know it's farfetched but I always thought that's what I wanted to do. But who would even want to try and sign me? Or listen to me. I'm not that good." She shrugs.

"I'm sure you're being much too modest," Louis says, fluffing a pillow. She liked listening to Liam ramble, it was strangely gratifying for herself. Hearing her enjoyment through her smile, seeing the excitement in her voice. Louis could listen to her talk for hours. 

"No," Liam laughs, looking down and tucking another strand of hair behind her ear. 

She looks impossibly vulnerable and impressionable at this moment, and Louis really wants to hear her sing so she can shower her with compliments and make sure she knows, not that she needs to hear Liam's voice to know it'll be remarkable. "Oh, come on. I'm sure you're great. Sing a few bars of something for me." She sits on her newly made bed, propping her chin on her elbow, looking intently at Liam, ready for a show.

Liam laughs nervously. "No, no, I couldn't."

"Why not? Please," Louis asks, batting her eyelashes.

Liam tries to say no, she really does, but she can't pass up an opportunity to sing. It's like part of her human nature to belt out notes and riffs and melodies more than she speaks; she can't say she doesn't love it, even though the attention is not forthcoming, it's worth it, she thinks. "Ugh, fine, fine!" She gives in and Louis claps as she goes to close the door. 

"Oh, my god," she says to herself before stepping back in front of Louis. She takes a breath, and feels a bit better when she sees the eager look on Louis' face, earnest and fair, genuine. Calming. She closes her eyes for a moment, pretending she's back in her room at home, singing in the mirror. 

" _well you done done me and you bet I felt it, I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted, I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back, before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest, and nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention, I reckon it's again my turn, to win some or learn some, but I won't hesitate no more no more, it cannot wait, I'm yours, mhmmhm, hey ay..._ "

Louis thinks it's the most beautiful sound she's ever heard. And she can't contain herself, she fucking applauds Liam, jumping up and everything, grinning broadly at her even though Liam shies away. "Oh, my God, Liam that was so amazing! Who wouldn't want to sign you?!"

Liam looks up, and Louis sees her cheeks are red, flushed and embarrassed, but she has nothing to be embarrassed for. "Really?" Liam almost whispers, like if she says it louder Louis' opinion will shatter and she'll hear how awful she was.

No such thing happens. "Yes! Liam, I'm telling you, that was so fantastic! You're _so_ talented! Jesus Christ." Louis is too, too, giddy, or fond, or amazed, or whatever it is that can explain this surge of emotion swelling through her chest and floating up her body like a bubble, popping over her mouth, leaving a grin in its place. "Can I get your autograph?"

"Louis!" Liam laughs, holding her palms to her cheeks. 

Louis can't help it, she grabs them and pulls them back. "I'm serious. You're so fucking good, it'd be a crime not to sign you. That's why I need your autograph now, before all the hype surrounds you. I'll keep it in mint condition and everything, sell it on eBay for a butt ton of money."

"Oh, my gosh, stop it, Louis." Liam shakes her head, not used to all these unwarranted compliments, but Louis won't be giving her anything but that.

"Don't worry, I wasn't really gonna sell it." She realizes she's still holding Liam's wrists, and she lets go, but doesn't back away, too wrapped up in Liam's aura to even try and get out, not that she wants to, anyways. "Just keep it to build a shrine or something." 

Liam rolls her eyes. "You're ridiculous." She picks at her nails, looking back up at Louis with her eyes, peeking through her eyelashes. "You really think I have a shot?"

"Yes! Of course! And if no one can see that I'll start my own record label and sign you and we'll both be rich and famous!" Louis means every single word of it.

Then Liam is throwing her arms around Louis' neck, pulling her in for a tight hug and Louis can't _breathe_. She doesn't know what to do, she's frozen, she can't even react. And Liam's murmuring "thank you"s into her ear, swaying them side to side as they hug, and Louis can't process it until after Liam's let go, running hands through her hair. 

"Oh, my God, Louis. Thank you. It always means a lot to me when I hear compliments, way more than it should but there just so nice to hear, especially when how everyone would tease me about it before —"

 _How could anyone tease Liam?_ Louis thinks and she wants to go back in time and roundhouse anyone who ever said anything but nice things to her. But Liam is still talking —

"— Zayn even said I was good, too. But I couldn't believe her I thought she was just being nice, or whatever. But then I was thinking why would I even be there if I didn't have some talent, right? But I don't know, I'm still not sure what I want to do."

"Did you say Zayn?" Louis asks because that's the only thing her brain is latching on to.

"What?" Liam shakes herself out of her daze, getting over her babbling. "Oh, yeah. We met over the summer. We got into this art program here and we were partners for the music section of it. She was really there for the art part but she has an amazing voice, too."

"Oh, so you know each other well, then?" Louis asks, taking a seat back on her bed.

"Yeah, kind of, I guess. She likes to be by herself a lot, though. But that's fine, she's nice."

"Well, that's good to hear, since I'll be living with her and all," Louis says, secretly reeling in the fact that Zayn isn't more than a friend to Liam, not that that really helps Louis anyway. She sighs.

"Yeah," Liam agrees. "So what's your major?"

"Oh," Louis leans back on her palms. "I'm not sure yet. I checked undecided, but I think teaching… or something completely unrelated to that." Liam laughs. "But, yeah, I'm not sure yet."

Liam bumps her shoulder. "Well if you decide on teaching, let me know. We could work at the same school."

"Yeah," Louis smiles, looking at her. "That'd be nice."

Liam hums and turns her head away, and they fall into silence. Not for long, though, because then there's a knock on Louis' door and Niall's barging in before Louis can even say "come in."

"There you are, Liam!" She flounces in with her wet hair swaying all over the place, leaving droplets on Louis' floor. "I was gonna go grab some food from the caf, do you guys wanna come with?"

"Niall, it's almost eleven," Liam yawns, stretching her arms over her head. "Maybe tomorrow? I'm exhausted."

"Party pooper," Niall pouts. "Louis?"

Louis looks between Niall, the clock, and Liam. "Um, yeah, sure. But real quick, okay? We can explore more tomorrow if you want."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's go, I'm starving." Niall inches back to the doorframe, hand on the knob already. 

Louis laughs. "Hang on." She gets up and grabs a hoodie and some shoes, sliding them on before grabbing her wallet and key. 

Liam gets up. "Bye, guys. I'll see you in the morning." 

"Bye," Louis and Niall say at the same time.

"We should all have breakfast tomorrow, or lunch, after Niall finishes her side of the room," Liam says pointedly.

Niall groans. "I told you I'll get to it." Louis laughs from beside her. "Don't laugh, it's sooo much work. I did as much as I could."

"Yeah, you unpacked one box, what a challenge that must've been for you," Louis retorts.

"Shut up," Niall says, not even bothering with a comeback. "Are we going or not?"

"Yeah," Louis says. "And breakfast sounds nice, Liam. You want me to ask Zayn, if and when she comes back from wherever she is?" 

Liam smiles. "Yeah, sure. Okay, goodnight." She waves and walks down the hall, going into her room and closing the door behind her.

"Come on," Niall whines, grabbing Louis' arm and pulling her out of the room. "You have to help me unpack tomorrow if we're going to breakfast."

Louis can't find it in her to complain. "Fine, okay."

"Now," Niall says as they get in the elevator. "I know you were gonna do it anyway, I can tell by that look on your face, so tell me all about how cute Liam is and all that shit now so we can get it over with and I don't barf up whatever I'm about to eat."

Louis laughs, but she does. Every. Single. Detail.

~

Louis ends up sitting next to Liam at breakfast, meaning Niall gets her wish of being in as close a proximity of Zayn she can get without coming off as creepy. And the meal goes pretty well, in the sense that Louis doesn't have the urge to grab Liam's face and kiss her senseless, at least not the _whole_ time. They talk and laugh, finding out they actually all have stuff in common with each other; Louis and Zayn share a lot of similarities which makes it easier to think about the rest of the year and rooming with her. Niall, of course, is constantly finding ways to touch Zayn — a brush of the hand on the shoulder, pressing of arms — and Zayn doesn't seem to notice, or mind, that is. She takes it and even gives some back, mostly from the all the laughing that's going on, especially with Niall's crazy stories (which mostly involve her drunk off her ass doing something stupid, prompting everyone else — even Liam — to tell their own crazy drunk stories). 

The air is light and Louis can actually see them all bonding, as lame as that sounds. It's like they were in this bubble when they all sat down in the booth, and the more syrup and orange juice and sausages piled on their forks and shoveled into their mouths makes the bubble get smaller and smaller, pressing them closer and closer, and Louis doesn't seem to mind. She hasn't felt anything close to actual reciprocated friendship in a long time, and she's amazed at how sure she is about this a day after meeting them — it's just a natural fit, really. Louis feels like she's in grade school again, being able to mill about and be herself and be accepted with open arms for that. She's missed that — and needed it far more than she could've thought.

And they all end up helping Niall unpack her side of the room. It's mostly Liam and Niall doing it, with Zayn and Louis lying on Liam's bed pretending to sift through some CD's to "organize." Mainly just judging Niall's music taste to themselves and talking about concerts they've been too or desperately wanted to.

"Are you two just gonna sit there the whole time?" Liam asks from where she and Niall are struggling to hang some Beckham poster. Niall's standing on her bed, more stuck to the tape on the poster than anything. 

"We're organizing!" Zayn and Louis defend in unison, to which Liam rolls her eyes.

Niall lets go of the poster to untangle some tape out of her hair, making the poster fold over Liam's head. "Niall!" She shouts, rustling around.

"Sorry! I got tape in my hair." She continues to mess with it though, not making any attempt to get the poster off of Liam. "What are you complaining for? You're practically kissing royalty."

"Oh, please," Liam scoffs from under the crinkles of the 12x18 headshot of Beckham.

Zayn chuckles and gets up from the bed, going to help Liam get it off. Louis laughs from her spot on the bed, admiring the strands of Liam's hair that stick out from the poster, the little pout on her face as Zayn finally pulls it off her head, the way her hands subconsciously fly up to pat down her hair afterwards. 

"Thanks," she says to Zayn the same moment there's a knock on the open door.

"Hey, guys," Harry says, smiling as she walks in. "How's everything?"

"Good," they all say, polite casualties taking over. 

"We're just helping Niall finish up her side of the room," Liam tacks on. "Well, at least I am." She cuts her eyes to Zayn and Louis, to which Louis once again defends them — "we were organizing her CDs!" — and Zayn just sticks her tongue out at Liam, shrugging it off and picking at her manicure.

Harry chuckles. "Well, it's nice to see you all hanging out. Almost all of the other girls are gone or have their doors closed." She frowns a little.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Liam assures her, stacking some textbooks on Niall's desk. "It's only the second day, first real day."

"Yeah," Harry plays with her bottom lip. "You're probably right."

"I always am," Liam teases.

Harry rolls her eyes. "Yeah, alright. Well, let me know if you guys need anything." She pats the doorframe as she leaves and they all sing "bye," to her.

"What's she so worried about? That we won't like each other? Well, news for her I already hate half the girls on this floor," Zayn huffs, rolling back on Liam's bed.

"She's just making sure these competitions go well. She's very family oriented," Liam shrugs, but the tone of her voice suggests she'll always defend Harry.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Louis offers. Liam sends her a small smile of thanks, and Zayn still scoffs.

"Don't get me wrong, I love my sisters, but why the fuck do I need to get to know all these girls who have shown me they're nothing but obnoxious, bratty, pretentious bitches." She rolls her eyes. "Fucking straight people."

Louis and Niall laugh and Liam tries to, but it's nervous and forced and her cheeks are flushed. Louis wants to question it but Niall speaks before she can think too much on it.

"What'd they do? I've met a few they were all nice."

"They were all just bratty and whispering about me, like, if you have something to say say it to my face not in your friend's ear," Zayn mutters.

"They were probably just intimidated by your hotness," Louis says, leaning back on her palms.

"Hey!" Niall interjects. "Am I not hot enough for those bitches?"

"You're plenty hot, Niall," Liam tells her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Eh, she's more cute than anything," Louis says and Zayn snaps in agreement, her face still pressed into the pillows.

Niall groans, eyes flickering to Zayn though. "I don't wanna be cute! I wanna be hot." She pouts, crossing her arms. "Why can't I be like you two?" She gestures to Louis and Zayn, who doesn't even notice the compliment, or is too used to it to react. Louis just smirks and adjusts her boobs, pushing them up a little.

"What about me?" Liam questions, indignant and offended.

Niall barely looks her over before scoffing. "Please, Liam," she walks over to the boxes left at her closet door.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm plenty hot," Liam pouts, stomping her foot a teeny bit and Louis and Niall laugh and coo, and Louis would want to kiss the pout off her mouth, if it wasn't so adorable.

"Liam, please, you're cuter than a basket of puppies," Zayn states, her mouth still mumbled in the bedding.

"No, I'm not," she pouts again, her voice small.

"Aww," they all sing, spiting her. Louis goes up and pinches her cheeks, and Liam swats her away. Louis laughs and walks off to help Niall shuffle through her clothes some more.

"Niall, how the fuck am I supposed to steal your clothes when all you wear are _jerseys_ ," Louis almost says it with disdain, but she owns a few herself. She picks up a pile of clothes out of the box, all mesh, all merch from some sports team or other. "Look at this." She waves it around to the three girls. "I can't work with this."

Niall snatches them out of her hand. "They're _comfy_ ," is her only defense before she promptly shoves them in a drawer.

"You can wear mine whenever," Zayn says, actually lifting her face off the bed, mostly to yawn, though. "Just make sure I get 'em back."

"Sweet," Louis smiles. "If you like any of my shit you can borrow it, too."

Zayn hums and lays her head back down, closing her eyes.

"Screw you guys, I think I'm pretty freaking hot," Liam announces from where she was just looking over herself in the mirror. "Well, I'm not ugly."

"Don't sell yourself short, you're plenty good looking," Louis tells her, and a blush rises to Liam's cheeks, and to Louis' as well as she realizes what she's just said. She wouldn't be that worried about it coming off as more than a friendly compliment if Niall wasn't snickering to herself in the corner. 

"You're gorgeous, Liam," Zayn pipes up from the bed, saving Louis from further embarrassment.

"Thanks," Liam replies, glancing at Louis. She tucks some hair behind her ear, shyly looking down, and Louis almost loses use of her knees.

"So are you guys gonna help me or not?" Niall speaks up. "I really wanna try that barbecue place."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Louis asks, still going back to help her with her clothes. 

"Liam said I couldn't go out until I finished," Niall mutters.

"Because it's a _mess_ ," Liam says. "And you've barely done anything; we've been here an hour already."

Niall falls back on the bed. "But it's so much work! And I'm _starving_." She splays her arms out to the side in exasperation.

"Niall, we just had breakfast. And, you have eaten more than all of us here combined in just the two days we've been here," Liam points out.

Niall shrugs, waving her hand. "I have a high metabolism."

"Give me some," Louis says, sitting next to her. She lifts her shirt a little, and puts her hands on her stomach, pinching her skin. "I've been trying to get rid of these belly rolls forever."

"Louis," Liam almost scoffs, "everyone has belly rolls, and you barely have any." 

"Oh, _please_ ," Louis counters, playing with the folds.

"You don't need any of my metabolism, Lou," Niall says, sitting up now. She slaps Louis' stomach. "I don't even need it, it's a blessing and a curse, really."

"Yeah, your life must be so hard, being able to eat junk 24/7 must really get to you," Louis says sarcastically, laughing a little when Niall nods in agreement. "Shut up." She pushes her over. 

And her stomach growls, loud. 

"For the love of God, Liam! Let me leave!" Niall shoots up, clasping her hands together, begging. 

"Not until this is done," Liam adamants, crossing her arms. "You know you'd never finish it anyways, might as well dangle some food in your face."

Niall opens her mouth to retort but closes it and nods. "True. But I'm still mad at you." She points a finger at Liam as she goes back to going through her clothes. 

Liam shrugs. "You'll thank me later."

"I'll thank you after you pay for the check at the barbecue place," Niall grumbles, shoving clothes in drawers. 

Liam sighs and grabs some hangers, shaking her head at Niall's lack of organization. Louis watches her as she picks shirts and jeans out of Niall's box, placing them on hangers like how you would see them in the store. The corners of Louis' mouth turn up as Liam's eyebrows crease in concentration, her hand going up every now and then to fix the hair out of her face. Louis wants to do it for her, wants to be able to graze her fingers over the shell of Liam's ear, wants to touch her, wants to kiss her. Louis' eyes follow the slight sway of Liam's hips as she walks back and forth from the box to the closet; licks her lips when Liam's shirt rides up as she hangs something up, her back dimples showing; stops her hands from grabbing at Liam every time she turns around. Liam smiles at Louis before she puts some jeans on a hanger, and Louis' stomach flutters, feeling like a twitch almost, her heart hitching itself onto the sight of something so soft and warm and bright. She has to tear her eyes away before she gets caught, deciding to actually sort through Niall's C.D.'s now to occupy herself, on the opposite side of the room, away from where Liam is now humming the same song she sang for Louis yesterday under her breath.

~

"Could you make it any more obvious you're in love with her?" Niall says to Louis as soon as she steps foot in the bathroom. 

Louis rolls her eyes but her cheeks get impossibly warm. "I'm not in love with her." She leans against the sink counter and shrugs. "I just met her yesterday, how am I in love with her?" _Because she's radiant and wrong in all the right ways_ she thinks to herself.

"I don't know, but you've managed to be all gooey eyed ever since you first saw her," Niall points out as she disappears into a stall. 

Louis sighs. She's been trying not to make it so obvious but it's just so _hard_. Especially now that she's practically shoved up against Liam — _arms touching the entire time_ — in this tiny booth she found herself sitting in with all of them. They finished helping Niall probably about fifteen minutes ago, as soon as the last suitcase was empty Niall dragged them out to this restaurant she's been obsessing over. And of course they ran into Harry on the way out and of course Liam invited her, and it's not like Louis hates her, she's actually liking her more and more now, it's just she feels like a third wheel around Liam and Harry, and she's squished between them, and she's feeling empty and jealous and she can't breathe right this way, and Liam's vanilla hair wash isn't helping.

Niall flushes and leaves the stall, and Louis' biting her lip over this. 

"It's not like she'll like me back, anyways," Louis says when Niall starts washing her hands, not even trying to deny it anymore. "At least you actually have a _chance_ with Zayn."

Niall scoffs. "You have better odds with Liam than I do with Zayn."

"That's insane," Louis counters. "She's hot, you're hot, just flirt with her some more I'm sure you'll get at least one good night out of it."

"But I don't want one good night," Niall starts. "I mean, I do, but — fuck, Louis she's so pretty." She runs a hand through her hair, outwardly sighing. "Hey, I thought you all agreed I wasn't hot."

"You are, just, you've got pinchable cheeks with all these little freckles," Louis says, pinching them and Niall giggles unlike Liam did. "See, there you go being all cute again."

"At least you can flirt with Liam all you want, she won't even _notice_ , and if she does —"

"She'll be too nice to say anything," Louis finishes, sighing fondly. "Yeah, there are some perks. But, like, I don't want to make her uncomfortable, I just wanna — I want to kiss her."

"'Cause that won't make her uncomfortable," Niall replies with sarcasm, making a face at Louis as they leave the bathroom. 

"Shut up. And don't, please, don't go throwing yourself at Zayn until you know what she's like," Louis advises. She gets where Niall's coming from, the "i just wanna kiss her and fuck her" point, but Zayn seems like an enigma really. Louis' not even sure what she's like yet, and she's usually good at pegging people after a day. Louis gets the vibe that maybe she only gives what she wants and takes whatever she's offered and Louis doesn't want to see Niall giving it her all while Zayn throws her scraps.

"I'm not _that_ desperate," Niall assures Louis as they round the corner, the booth coming into view. Louis almost stops short because Harry took her spot and is sitting pressed up against Liam, laughing like Louis doesn't exist. Niall almost laughs because Louis is the one acting desperate and Louis shoves her, Niall almost trips into a waitress and there's a big commotion and Louis is laughing and all the others at the table look over and shake their heads as Louis drags Niall away.

"That hurt," she states to Louis as she slides in, next to Zayn.

"I'm sorry do you want me to kiss it?" Louis sits down next to Harry, trying not to look like she hates her but it's just so hard when she took her spot and Louis makes a point to sit with her butt half off the seat and pout.

"No," Niall frowns, picking up her menu and smacking it against the table before she peruses over the options.

"Aw, babe, don't frown like that, you'll get wrinkles," Zayn says, smoothing her thumb over Niall's forehead and mouth, turning them up into a smile — not that she had to because Niall actually relaxes at her touch, her mouth already forming into a grin. "Louis," Zayn says, putting her hands back into her lap. "Why are you sitting way over there?"

"Oh, um..." is all she can say and now Harry and Liam are looking at her, confused, and Liam's face looks so soft and there's a birthmark on her neck that she's never noticed and Louis has a flash of running her tongue along it.

"Sorry, I just scooted over here so it'd be easier," Harry says, looking genuinely apologetic. "We can switch if you want."

And Louis doesn't want to seem petty but she's actually bothered but she can't let them know that so she just shakes her head. "No, it's fine," and scoots herself back into the booth completely.

Niall gives her a look but the waitress comes with their food and Louis just shrugs. 

"Come to mama," Niall grins and picks up her pulled pork sandwich, and they all gawk at her as she takes a huge bite and manages to keep the barbecue sauce off her face. She notices them staring and mumbles a "what?" with her mouth full beyond capacity and they all shake their heads and get to their own food. 

Maybe Niall's the enigma, Louis thinks to herself. She ordered a barbecue bacon cheeseburger, the same as Liam, and Harry got ribs, and apparently Zayn's vegan so she's got a salad. 

Harry starts talking about the competitions some more and Louis steals glances at Liam every time she takes a bite of her burger and Liam listens to Harry with wide eyes and Zayn looks bored and Niall looks infatuated, with both Zayn and her sandwich and Louis thinks this could be a good year for her.

(And then Liam laughs at something, her voice filling the air, her nose scrunching up, her eyes crinkling into slivers of crescents, her hand trying to cover her mouth full of food as her laughs turn into hiccups and then she looks at Louis, shining bright and staring deep with just a glance and yeah, this year is gonna be really good.)

~

"I can't take you seriously," Louis states to Niall when she walks out of her last class of the day. 

"What?" Niall questions, some type of muffin bulging in her cheek. "So I've got school spirit, sue me." She shrugs. She's decked out in school attire, all burgundy and white covering her from head to toe. And she's got on one of those drink hats, with the straw sticking out of her mouth as she chews and she seems so content with herself and Louis is so confused.

They get stares as they walk back to the dorm, and Louis doesn't have the heart to tell her it's Friday, not Saturday; usually she would, after letting Niall embarrass herself a little further, but Niall is so chipper and oblivious and cute, even as she smacks her lips loudly as she eats. 

"Niall?" 

They turn and see Zayn coming up behind them, leaving a group of guys behind. Her hair flicks back and forth a she tries to catch up, and Niall's mouth falls open and her muffin would fall out if Louis didn't smack her chin up. She swears, Niall's worse than her at not making it obvious. Swears by it, no matter how many times in the last week she's told Louis she was drooling while Liam was talking, or laughing, or breathing. 

"Hey," Louis says to Zayn as she comes up to them. They start walking again.

"Hi," she says to Louis before turning to Niall, a curious smile on her face as she looks her up and down. She cocks an eyebrow, and Niall shrugs "what?" again and Zayn looks to Louis and Louis just shakes her head. 

"She's got school spirit, sue her," Louis quotes Niall.

"That's...great," Zayn decides, pulling her lip between her teeth and Louis thinks she sees Niall's knees wobble. "You do know the game is tomorrow right?"

Niall's stops walking and her face goes slack. "What." 

"The game," Zayn laughs, pulling her purse higher over her shoulder. "Is tomorrow. You know, Saturday, not Friday. College, not high school."

Louis snorts. "Freshman."

Niall glares at her, smacking her on the arm. "Shut up! You're one too!" She sighs, holding her face in her hands. Then she's slapping Louis more than once. "What is wrong with you? You let me walk around like this!"

"To be fair, Niall, we were already going to the dorms, it wouldn't have mattered," Louis says, trying to fight back laughter. She looks across Niall to Zayn and she's trying just as hard to hold it in. 

"I hate you." Niall crosses her arms and walks ahead. "I hate all of you!" she screams, throwing her hat to the ground. 

"Well, that's not school spirited at all!" Louis yells back and Niall chucks her muffin at her only to have it fall a few feet short and Louis bursts into laughter and Niall flicks her off before storming away. 

Louis and Zayn laugh harder at her, and Zayn snorts a few times and that makes Louis laugh even more. They start walking again, ready to tell everyone on their floor about this. Zayn stops to pick up Niall's discarded hat, chuckling as she turns it over in her hands.

"'S cute how frustrated she gets," Zayn says, her tongue poking out between her teeth. 

"Yeah," Louis agrees. "It's also really fun to watch."

"That too," Zayn laughs before her name is called by a group of people. "Oh, I'm gonna — I gotta — could you give this back to her?" Zayn hands Louis the hat and runs off to her friends, or whoever they are. They look like the type of people Louis hung out with in high school, and she's slightly worried for Niall for being so interested in Zayn. Then she thinks Zayn just called Niall cute but she can't remember and her head is feeling fuzzy and she's even more confused about them two than she is about her and Liam — not that there is a her and Liam — and she decides she needs a nap.

Classes started a week ago and Louis thinks it's already much better than high school. She's actually trying to go to her classes on time, even though they're only the basics and repeats from last year, but it's... different. She likes it, she needs it, honestly. It seems so cliché but she really does feel freer here, enjoying everything and everyone for once. She's even enjoyed the floor meetings, Harry's rambling and worried-ness not bothering her as much, and Harry doesn't need to worry because all the girls on the floor get along fine and well, leaving their doors open and going into each other's rooms and all Harry was hoping for. Louis spends more time in Niall and Liam's room, pretending she's there mostly for Niall, but Niall won't buy into that, and always makes kissy noises when Liam's back is turned or her head is in a book. 

And then Zayn joins them sometimes and Louis makes her kissy noises obvious and Niall blushes and Liam snickers and Zayn doesn't notice at all. Or maybe she does, but she doesn't say anything. But Zayn disappears most of the time, probably off with that group of people she just went to, and Louis can hear her sneaking in late at night, smelling like smoke but it's okay, Louis thinks, at least she comes back, at least she has some control. And the funny thing is, it doesn't even really bother Louis what Zayn's doing, like, it should, because that's a slippery slope and Louis' slipped all the way down before, but she thinks Zayn's got it and hey, it's just this thing Zayn does. Sometimes she doesn't even go to bed, she just stays up all night painting or drawing and Louis is amazed and ends up staying up with her, whispering loudly as Zayn's brush strokes colors on the canvas and as Louis downs a Red Bull to help her in the morning, but the thing is, she doesn't mind losing sleep over this. It's...okay. 

It's been a long week but a good week and Louis' ready for this year.

"Niall, it's fine, people won't care," Louis can hear Liam saying through their open door. 

"But they do! You should've seen all the stares I was getting!" Niall groans.

Louis appears in the doorway, and Liam's sitting on Niall's bed and Niall's splayed out on it, her arms over her eyes. She's changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt, her other clothes discarded on the floor. "Niall, it's not a big deal," Louis says and Liam turns her head to look and she smiles at Louis and Louis swears there's actually an aura of sunshine radiating off her body. 

"Easy for you to say, you weren't dressed like a total fool," Niall mumbles, not even looking at Louis. 

"No one even knows who you are, okay? It's not a big deal, no one will remember this. You're not gonna be known as the girl who was too prepared for the football game. Calm down." Louis sits down by Niall's head. "If anything, it's cute."

Now Niall looks up. "How the fuck is it cute?"

"Well, I know Zayn thought so," Louis tells her and Niall sits up completely, kicking Liam as she does so.

" _Ow_ ," Liam rubs her side. 

"Sorry," Niall barely glances at her. 

"Here." Louis tosses Niall her hat. "She wanted to make sure you got that."

Niall practically cradles it to her chest and Liam and Louis laugh at her. "Did she really say I was cute?" Niall beams and Louis ruffles her hair.

"Yeah, so just keep on doing stupid things and I'm sure she'll fall in love with you in no time," Louis quips and Niall's too far gone to realize. Liam rolls her eyes at her and goes back to her bed. Louis lays herself down on Niall's bed, so her feet are by Niall's head.

She's starting to close her eyes when Liam speaks up. "So how was your day today, Louis?" she asks and Louis could fall off the bed at the sound of her name coming out of Liam's mouth.

She props herself up to look at Liam. "Uh, good, I guess. Yours?"

"Great, actually," she beams and Louis cocks an eyebrow, genuinely interested in hearing how great Liam's day was. "I decided to switch into Performing Arts, just for now at least, so if I decide I want to teach I'll just take more classes. But, um, yeah, I already had everything I needed so all I really had to do was sign the form." She laughs a little, and she's fidgeting her hands and Louis wonders how in the world this girl is so unbelievingly _endearing_. "Oh, and I got a free cookie at lunch today." She sits back on her bed, hands on her knees, sweet and soft and small and Louis wants to bundle her up and keep her tucked away in her pocket forever. 

"That's great, Liam," Louis tells her, trying not to smile just as big.

"Liam?" Niall asks, her voice still all dreamy. 

"Hm?" Liam looks to Niall, lips tucked in, trying to pay attention as she turns her laptop on.

"Does Zayn like football?"

Louis rolls her eyes and falls back on the bed, shaking her head. 

Liam chuckles. "I believe so, yeah. Why?"

"She's probably trying to come up with some way to make sure she's next to her at the game," Louis says and Niall kicks her forehead.

"Noo. I'm just wondering if she'll — if we should all go together or not," Niall claims.

"We should," Liam says. "But you know, Niall, she'll probably just go run off with her art friends or something." 

"I'll follow her," Niall presses on.

"And that worries me because I know it's true," Louis says. "Don't freak the girl out, Niall, it's only the first week, keep it low key."

Niall could snort if Liam wasn't sitting right there. "Low key, yeah, sure, I'll make sure to listen to _your_ advice about keeping it low key," she scoffs and Louis slaps her calf.

"Shut up," she mumbles so Liam doesn't hear, but she's too focused on whatever homework she's trying to do on her laptop. Her index finger is between her teeth as she scrolls with the other hand, her eyes scanning across the screen. "So, all of us, game tomorrow? Liam?" Louis asks, and not just to see Liam's focus break so her face will take on that brief moment of confusion as her brain moves from one thought to the next before her eyes get soft and look Louis directly in hers, her finger dropping from her mouth. Absolutely not for that reason at all.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, wanna meet up here? Like 5:30?" Liam offers.

"Yeah," Louis says and Niall nods and says she'll make sure to text Zayn so she's not left out. Louis and Liam do snort, and Niall pushes Louis off the bed and throws a pillow at Liam.

At least she feels better, Louis thinks.

~

"All I'm saying is Calculus is pointless and I am offended I have to take it again," Louis gripes, shaking her head. She hands Liam her hot dog. 

"All math is pointless," Niall points out, taking a bite of her corn dog. "You're so lucky, Liam."

Louis hums in inquisition, her mouth full of pretzel, raising an eyebrow. 

"She got a fucking 5 on her exam last year, doesn't have to take Calc. Know-it-all," Niall mutters. She holds her corn dog in her mouth and ties her hair up into a ponytail, fixing it through the hat she's wearing. 

"Oh, of course she did," Louis' not surprised, rolling her eyes as they head back up the bleacher steps. 

"I can't help it! I like math," Liam defends, her voice higher.

Niall groans and Louis says, "That's impossible. No one likes math." She thinks to herself that Liam is impossible and that she shouldn't possibly like someone who enjoyed an advanced placement math class so much, but she does. Too much.

She lets Liam slide in their row first, and it's not to breathe in vanilla again, it's not. And it's only lucky that Liam trips a little over her feet and stumbles back so Louis has an excuse to touch her, her hand on her back, lingering much longer than needed for Liam to get some stability. "Thanks," Liam mumbles, turning her head a little to respond, her hair flicking in front of Louis' face and Louis doesn't mind at all. "I'm a bit of a klutz, sometimes. Always tripping and falling." She laughs at herself, her body shaking against Louis' palm and Louis thinks she's already fallen.

She swallows. "Well, you better keep me around then, to catch you."

Liam faces her now. "Yeah, I'd better." Her voice is like a cloud and Louis is floating, and her eyes are amber in the stadium lights, glowing like the sun, and Louis understands why Icarus flew so close, wings burning and his body falling, because the sight was well worth it; the beauty would mask the ending, but Louis doesn't want this story to end.

"What the fuck are you two doing! You're missing the start of the third quarter!" Niall screams from behind them and Louis looks up and realizes the clock is counting down and people are cheering and the teams are running across the field. 

"Whoops," Liam shrugs, her tongue poking out just a bit through her two rows of teeth and Louis is trying to figure out why everyone is watching the game when they could be seeing this.

They go back to Niall, who's for once, not concerned with the whereabouts of Zayn, too focused on the game to think about anything else. Zayn was here, but didn't look too interested, so Louis' not surprised she's missing, neither is Liam. Liam tries to step up on the seats behind her at some point, and she almost falls forward, and Louis has an excuse to touch her again. Her hands are on the dips in Liam's side and her skin is so warm and Louis wants to pinch and poke at it for as long as she pleases. Liam places a hand over Louis' as she regains her balance, a "whoa" emitting from her lips and Louis swears she sees it get lost in the wind, drowned out by the cheers erupting around them because their team got a touchdown. 

"Aw, I missed it," Liam frowns. 

"We've been playing so great, I'm sure you'll see another one," Niall yells back to her, her fist pumped in the air and the last bite of her corn dog in her mouth.

"Good. Louis?"

"Yes?" Louis' still not used to the sound of her name coming from Liam. The wind blows and she moves some hair out of her face.

"Will you stand up here with me?" Liam starts, tucking some of her hair back, too. "Cause, like, I'll probably fall or something again. And I need a cheering partner."

"A cheering partner?" Louis questions, stepping up anyways. Liam grabs her forearm and helps pull her up, and Louis lets her hand linger as she comes out of Liam's grip. "What the fuck is that?"

"You know, like, someone who will do the cheers with me so I don't look so stupid," Liam says.

"But then you'll have two stupid looking people," Louis teases and Liam takes a moment, smacking Louis' arm when she realizes. "Kidding! I love the cheers, they're like the best part, really." It's true, it's half the reason Louis went to most of her high school games, that and to get stoned and leave after halftime, going to whatever party was happening that her friends always seemed to know about. 

"I know!" Liam grins. "It's my favorite. I tried to learn all of them when I came to some games last year, but Harry said I wasn't allowed in the student section." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, and Louis feels like that's something Harry would definitely do. 

"What're you two doing up there? Left me all alone," Niall mutters, climbing up as well, needing both Louis' and Liam's help, since she decided to place herself right in between them. "Have you seen Zayn?" She gets on her tiptoes and peers around, over the mass of thousands of people.

"She texted me saying she was going to out with her friends," Liam tells her, frowning a bit. "You shouldn't be surprised."

"I'm not," Niall sighs. "God, can this girl stay around long enough for me to get in her pants? She's a fucking tease and she knows it," Niall groans and Louis laughs. 

"I'm sure you'll get her one day, Ni," she says, rubbing her back. 

"Yeah, I hope s— WOOO!" Their team scored another touchdown. 39 - nothing, Louis sees on the scoreboard. She also notices the fourth quarter already started, and she wonders when the fuck that happened. 

"I missed it again!" Liam pouts, but it soon turns into a smile as a chant starts in their section, her arms following the motions, screaming the words out with such enthusiasm Louis finds herself singing along just for her.

"Fucking sick!" Niall cheers when the chant is over and there was an interception by their team. "Shit, after this, I'm heading to the bar, this deserves to be celebrated."

Liam sends Louis a wary look over Niall's head, and Louis finds herself sending it back. As much fun as it would be to have a drink, or few, or a lot, Louis' trying to stay away from all of that for a while. Just enough so she knows when she can handle it, which is why it's been a bit of a struggle having Zayn as a roommate. After getting drunk the first night here, mostly because of Zayn, Louis had enough. Honestly, she's just trying to make it through the year, day by day, she doesn't need that as an escape anymore; she thinks she's got this.

"Niall..." Liam starts. "I don't —"

"That's probably not the best idea."

"Yeah. Like, maybe —"

"Let's just go back to our rooms, some ice cream will be just as nice."

"Ooh, yeah, ice cream," Liam's face lights up.

Niall looks between them, almost disgust on her face. "Look, you prudes can have all the ice cream you want, I'm going for a fucking beer and you can't stop me."

"Whatever," Louis shrugs. 

"Wait, could you come get me, you know, in case," Niall tries, her tone much lighter than her previous statement.

Liam rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"I don't know, I'm tempted to leave her there after that 'tude of hers," Louis crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry, will you please help me get home later?" She folds her hands in front of her, her lip sticking out, eyelashes batting.

"Yeah, whatever," Louis shoves her a little and she almost topples over, knocking into Liam, who drops the rest of her hotdog.

"Louis!" they both yell.

"It's not my fault you two are so klutzy," Louis answers back, sticking her tongue out.

They can't fire back because the stadium fills with cheers; they won the game. 

"YES!" Niall glees. She hops down and pushes past them. "Bye, guys! Josh! Wait up!" She runs off to some dude with brown hair and he claps her on the back and they meld into the crowd. Liam shakes her head. 

She and Louis decide to wait for the stadium to empty out before they try and leave. They sit on the bench and it's quiet for a while, and Louis doesn't find herself itching to say something to break the silence, because it's comfortable being with Liam, just sitting next to her is enough. But then Liam starts talking about ice cream and Louis can't help but to get as excited she is for some, it's like they're children again. And Louis wants to make sure Liam gets the biggest banana split sundae she could ever hope for, just for that smile of hers to appear, and so Louis' heart will feel lighter in her chest, airy and free.

It's good to be young.

~

Louis finds herself sitting on her bed, books sprawled out in front of her, and somehow she got Liam curled up next to her, using a pillow as a desk, scribbling away. When Liam switched majors she had an open elective, so she took a Human Geography class, with Louis. Louis was pleasantly surprised, waving her hand in the air and throwing her bag to the floor to make room for Liam. Louis has had a hard time paying attention in class now, and she's even managed to distract Liam a bit, who frowns in protest because they're supposed to be listening, but she still draws little doodles on Louis' notes and lets Louis draw on hers, and they whisper more than before, and Liam's not as worried about it as before because Louis' moved them to the back of the room, and Liam doesn't have the time to be wary, because she always sits in the front, because Louis is bothering her in seconds and she feels better all too soon. And Louis feels better, too. She thinks she can handle herself around Liam now, especially now that they've grown closer, but it's still so frustrating to be able to touch and tickle and hug Liam whenever, but still be held back because of "boundaries" or whatever shit Niall sermoned to her. 

"Practice what you preach," Louis derided her, scoffing just the right amount to mean, "yeah, okay," and "you fucking hypocrite."

Niall only rolled her eyes and went back to her laptop, and Louis went back to staring at Liam on the other side of the room and doodling "L + L" all over her Calc homework.

They've gotten through their first competition successfully, much to Harry's enjoyment. It was ridiculous, though, Louis only gave it her best effort, because of Liam. And with how intuitive she is, Louis wonders why she wore fucking white to a water balloon fight, and it was hard for Louis to focus after Liam got hit, because _fuck_ , everything about Liam is just impossible. 

Zayn cared the least, whispering a "Niall, get me wet," before the game even started, and Niall almost had a stroke and dropped her balloon, splashing both her and Zayn's legs. The refs didn't count it, though, but that didn't stop Zayn from walking straight into the path of a balloon as soon as the start whistle blew, soaking her hair and shirt. She shrugged and said bye to their team and Louis didn't see her until the next day. 

It was really entertaining to watch Niall, Liam, and Harry play, mostly Harry and Niall. Niall gets really excited really quick, determined to win, her body flailing left and right to avoid getting hit, probably pulling muscles with each chuck of a balloon. She kept screaming and trash talking and Louis' surprised she didn't get out from being too distracted laughing at Niall to cover herself. Harry, on the other hand, had no coordination, whatsoever. It was actually quite cute, Louis thought, the most enthusiastic baby giraffe she's seen in all her life. Harry never failed to keep up the team's spirit, and mostly avoided getting out from all the times she fell over. 

Liam laughed fondly at her every time, always making sure she was okay. And Liam played well for the most part, she tripped a little herself but Louis was always there to catch her, and they covered each other, and Louis doesn't know where the time went, they got through all the rounds surprisingly and soon it was just her and Liam left, after a girl named Jade got out. Their team cheered from the sidelines as the two girls faced three from the sixth floor. Louis honestly didn't know how she lasted this long, she couldn't have cared less for this game in particular, but with the way Liam's shirt was beginning to see through from all the splashes she got caught in, the way her hair was tied back neatly in a ponytail despite all the activity, the way her smile got too big for her face and crinkled her eyes up into little slits every time a sixth floor girl got out and the Dawson girls cheered for them, Louis could've played the game forever.

And they won, and Louis got pounced on by Niall and the rest of the girls tried to clap her back or shoulder or just crowd her really to congratulate or thank her or whatever. Harry ran straight to Liam, hugging her tight, and Louis was a little, well, sad, but then they broke apart and Harry bolted for Louis and it looked like she was going to hug her but she stopped herself and just went for a high five, which Louis returned. And then Liam pushed her way through the mass and threw her arms around Louis' neck, her vanilla scent encompassing Louis again because her nose was basically in Liam's hair and she had to resist the urge to sniff it. Louis wrapped her arms around Liam's torso and Louis was right, she is soft, so soft, and light and pretty and cozy and Louis wasn't breathing right. 

Then Liam pulled away all too soon and Louis had to remember, oh, yeah, let go, and she reluctantly returned her arms to her side. Liam beamed at her. "We won!" Captivating and impossible, Louis can't forget impossible.

And despite the air, Louis felt sadder than ever. She swallowed, trying to put on the most genuine smile she could muster, nodding her head. "Yeah." 

There was a shout, and a streak of blonde, and then Liam was falling to the ground as Niall tackled her. 

" _Ow, Niall_."

"Shit, sorry." Niall untangled herself from Liam but didn't stand, just hugged her again. "But you did it! We won!" 

Louis laughed at the pair and she offered them both her hand up, definitely not trailing her finger down Liam's arm, definitely not. And Louis's belly didn't swoop when Liam smiled at her again, her eyes peeking through her lashes, it really didn't; it catapulted and did a somersault landing back with a resounding cannonball. 

Niall threw her arm around Louis' shoulder and demanded they go out to celebrate, and as a floor, they went bowling and Louis felt really at peace. And Harry gallivanted about, making sure everyone was good and happy and friendly and they were. It was easy.

So Louis' sitting here with Liam, a month later, studying for a Human Geography test neither of them is prepared for in the slightest. 

"Okay, wait, why did they go to Mesopotamia?" Liam asks, throwing her pencil down. "Like, I get why, but _how_. Did they just float over there? They couldn't have swam across the Mediterranean, did they make a boat or something?"

"Hang on," Louis starts, flipping through her notes. "I remember that— I think. Somewhere. Maybe not. No. Wait, does she want us to call it Mesopotamia or Fertile Crescent?" 

"Doesn't matter, she said, but I'd go with Mesopotamia since she says it a lot," Liam flops back, her head resting by Louis' thigh where her legs are crossed. "Shit! The rivers, what are they called, what did we have to know?" She smacks her hands over her eyes, dragging them down her face and groaning loudly. 

"Something like Tiger and Hermaphrodite or something," Louis mutters, still flicking through her crappy notes. 

"It's not called Tiger, and there's no way it's called Hermaphrodite, Lou," Liam says pointedly, although she doesn't know all the information herself. 

"It's Tigris and Euphrates, dipshits." Liam and Louis look up to see Zayn walking in the room, a bored and amused expression on her face — Louis' not sure how she does that. 

"See? I was close," Louis says and Liam all but glares, shaking her head.

"No," she simply states, sitting up to write the names of the rivers down. 

"How'd you know that, Zayn?" Louis asks and Zayn looks up from shoving clothes into her bag, and shrugs.

"Dunno, always liked history, and I'm smarter than you two, so there's that." Her eyes flicker to them, a smile on her face. She ties up her hair into a bun, showing off her cheekbones even more. 

"Excuse me," Liam tries to rebut and Louis puts her hand on Liam's arm and shakes her head. Liam sighs and starts muttering things to herself as she highlights through more notes, her bottom lip is sticking out in frustration and Louis really, really, _really_ wants to bite it. 

"Lou," Zayn calls and Louis looks up, seeing her already at the doorway, a jacket and her bag in hand. "I'll probably be back, like, tomorrow night or something, so, yeah, cover for me? And, like, don't freak out when I come in, okay?"

Louis huffs. "You hadn't told me when you'd be back and I had just watched that scary movie with Niall and, and — it's not my fault you fucking pranced your way in here in the middle of the night, Zayn! And you were bumping into every single fucking thing." Louis had been on edge, sleeping with every part of her tucked under the covers to hide herself, and when Zayn stumbled into her bed, and then into Louis' desk, Louis flipped and they both screamed and Louis grabbed for the closest thing to her, which happened to be her sneaker, and hit Zayn in the neck with it. Zayn fell to the floor clutching her neck and then covering her ears, whisper yelling a "Shhhh! You'll wake the others!" before giggling uncontrollably. Louis sighed and got her to her bed, after getting pawed at repeatedly and breathed on with just possibly the whole bar on Zayn's breath, and stuck a trash can next to her bed and went back to sleep. She was still passed out the next morning and Louis later learned she never went to class that day, but seemed to be enjoying herself far too much.

"I was late, didn't say I was sober," Zayn says and Liam glances up from her notes, and Zayn catches her eye and gives her an apologetic expression. Liam just turns her head back down. "Alright, well, see ya." She waves to Louis before walking off down the hall.

Louis tries to go back to her notes, but she sees Liam isn't focused on hers, just staring at her pencil gripped in her hand, her face stony, her bottom lip still out. Louis rubs a hand along her thigh, "It'll be okay, Liam, stop worrying, I'm sure you'll do fine."

Liam shakes her head. "No, no, it's not — that's not," then her lip is trembling and it's not so cute anymore and Louis is starting to worry herself because she doesn't want Liam crying, and just wants to pull her in close and rock away anything that could possibly make her feel anything but happy.

"Li?" Louis asks, her eyebrows furrowed and she squeezes Liam's thigh a little and then Liam does start crying and Louis doesn't know what to do. She tries to shift closer to Liam, but all their papers are in the way and she doesn't want to crush them or take the time to move them and then she'd mess up Liam's system of studying, but then she thinks fuck it, because she really wants to _hold_ Liam and really wants her to stop crying and Louis' heart feels constricted and she — fuck. "What's wrong?" She wants to run her hand over Liam's hair, but she doesn't want to make her uncomfortable, but then Liam is curling into Louis and her body is shuddering and Louis feels broken, but whole, all the cracks filling with the warmth of Liam's cheek pressed against her chest, and she does run her hand over Liam's hair.

Liam doesn't respond, and that's okay, Louis doesn't want to make her, she just wants her to be alright. Liam takes a few deep breaths after a while, and eventually pushes herself off Louis, and as much as Louis doesn't want to, she lets her go.

"God, I'm such a mess. Stupid," Liam presses her palms to her eyes and rubs away the tears, her make-up smearing a bit. 

"No, you're not," Louis tries, keeping her voice low. 

"I'm sorry," Liam says, "I shouldn't have — I just — I wish she would stop doing that." She sighs, running her hands along her thighs.

"Zayn?" Louis asks, confused.

Liam nods, and breathes out shakily. "Yeah, I — she knows I don't like it, all that she does, but, like, I know I can't stop her, but she said she would dial it back, and she hasn't and I'm — I," she bites on her bottom lip hard, and Louis knows there's way more to this than Liam's discomfort with Zayn's activities, but she won't push Liam to say more than she wants. "Could you shut the door?" she asks and Louis nods, hopping up to go do that and she tries not to rush back over, but she does. 

Liam breathes out again. "I guess I'm just worried," she starts, not knowing why she's telling Louis this but she can't find a valid reason not to trust her. "Like, over the summer, when we met, we got close, which is why we're such good friends now, at least I think we are. But she would always pull stunts like this, disappearing for hours and not telling anyone where she was going or doing, and it was obvious what she was doing, I knew what she was doing and — and I started to do it some, too," she says and Louis is surprised, but she doesn't react too much, just nods so Liam will keep going when she looks up at her again. She puts a hand on Liam's and Liam smiles back at her, small but grateful. "I don't know why I did it, but it was... fun. I don't know, I just wanted to try it and I didn't want her to, like, abandon me or anything. But like, I stopped it, because it's just not, it's not something I like to do, I guess. Not so much to keep doing it. But Zayn... she never stopped. And I know she's got control over it, like, she knows her limits, but I just— it's really fucking frustrating when she thinks she can just stumble back without a care in the world. She would always come to my room in the middle of the night, smelling like, just awful, and she would slide under the covers with me and pass out and one time —" Liam stops herself. A few more tears fall from her and Louis reaches up to wipe them away. Liam closes her eyes at the touch, leaning into it. "One time she kissed me," she says so soft and Louis' heart starts thudding in her chest. She clears her throat because she's sure whatever she says would come out as a squeak.

"Did you —um, did you like it?" Louis asks and she immediately regrets it because how can that not be taken in the way she meant it? Her eyes search over Liam's face, waiting for her response and now her heart really is constricted.

"I don't— I don't know," Liam admits. "Like, I care for her a lot, but I just — not, like that? But — I don't think she meant anything by it, she was especially drunk, but it's just, she's throwing me and pulling me around while she goes off and does these things to herself and I know she knows how I feel about them, and she always says she's sorry, but she keeps doing it, and she keeps trying to sneak back in my room, but I've locked the door and I — especially not with Niall there, oh God — but it's just confusing and it's tiring and I just, I do love her, but I—" Liam sighs, rubbing her hands over her face again. "I'm sorry you had to listen to that," Liam mumbles through her palms. 

"Hey," Louis says, pulling her hand back. "You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? It's alright to talk about things, and you can talk to me whenever you want, if you want."

"Yeah," Liam says, not really agreeing or rejecting, just breathing. "Sometimes it's just frustrating, and it's not like I can talk to _her_ about it. More than I already have, it won't do anything." She picks at her fingernails and her hair falls down into her face and Louis can't help it, she takes her hand and moves it back, tucking some behind Liam's ear, and it's just as satisfying as she thought; her breath hitches. Liam is just so, so lovely and she shouldn't be sad, ever. 

Liam smiles up at Louis, and she leans her head down on Louis' shoulder, snaking her arm behind Louis' back. Louis wraps hers around Liam's shoulders, pulling her in to her, breathing her in, letting her be, hopefully providing her some type of peace. She places a small — tentative, very tentative but her reserve is dwindled — kiss to Liam's forehead, and Liam squeezes her side in appreciation. 

"Oh, God, okay," Liam pulls back, twisting her hair behind one shoulder, rubbing her hands over her face. There's still some make up smudged, but it's not too bad, and the faded dark spots make Louis see how beautiful she really is, her brown eyes looking lighter and more inviting, hints of freckles on her cheekbones, her fair skin looking so elegant Louis is confused on how she can exist. Impossible, she thinks to herself again. Absolutely impossible. 

"So, Mesopotamia. People. Civilization. All that good stuff."

"Right," Louis says, pulling her notebook back into her lap, not moving away from Liam, keeping their knees touching when Liam crosses her legs. They overshadow the previous confession left in the air with recounts of how in the world people came to be.

~

They get their grades back within the week, and Liam doesn't gloat about the A Louis knew she would get, and doesn't make Louis feel bad about the C she knew she was going to get.

"Come on, Lou!" Liam chimes, tugging her arm as they walk out of class and into the courtyard. She waves her test paper around, a smile on her face. "Smile! These deserve to be celebrated."

Louis nods. "No, I'm happy, I'm just — why?"

"I don't know? To have fun, come on, this is college, we're supposed to have fun, especially before everything gets all intense. What do you say? Me, you, Niall and Harry? Dinner or something. I don't know, just _something_. I need a good weekend." Liam is looking at Louis so hopeful and youthful and Louis can't understand why she's even thinking about saying no.

"Alright, fine," Louis gives in (inevitably), a smile on her face too (also inevitable, _look_ at Liam). She doesn't bring up Zayn, Liam would've mentioned her if she wanted, and Louis can tell she's still on edge from her confession. Liam's still staring at Louis, expectant and doe eyed. She snatches the test from Liam's hand and looks it over. She shakes her head. "An A. Of course you did, you fucking nerd," she teases and Liam blushes.

"Stop it," Liam laughs and takes the test back from Louis, quickly shoving it in her bag before they start walking back to the dorms. "So, what, tomorrow then? I know Harry has some meeting Sunday night."

"Yeah, and I'm sure Niall's available whenever," Louis says. "You pick where we eat, _nerd_." She bumps her with her shoulder.

Liam tries to bite back a smile, but she can't. It's different when Louis calls her names, different than when her sisters do it, or those kids at school, because even though her sisters don't mean it in any way related to what her peers did, it still stung to come from someone she loves, looks up to, turns to. But when Louis does it it's so much different. She can't explain it. It's... comforting, in a weird way. She trusts Louis, more than she thought, it's why she told her all that stuff about Zayn, she thinks. Louis is different, she needs a little different. And she knows Louis would never make her feel less than herself, and she feels slightly more at home with Louis than she should; she can't explain it, but after she sang for her, things felt lighter, easier, comfier. 

"Just for that, I'm thinking about that Thai place," Liam says, spitefully, and Louis outwardly groans.

"I hate Thai food." She pinches the bridge of her nose as Liam laughs beside her, getting the reaction she was expecting. "Anything else, please, I'm begging."

"I don't know, it's sounding better and better to me," Liam smirks. Louis shoves her, taking the hoodie out of her arms and running off with it. "Louis!" Liam yells trying to catch up to the maniacally laughing girl. Louis is turned around, walking fast backwards as she taunts Liam with the hoodie, waving it around. 

"Louis, watch out!"

"Wha—aagh!"

"What the fuck, Louis! Watch where you're going!"

"Shut up, and get _off_ of me."

Louis is flattened under Niall, trying to shove her off of her. Niall is just a mess of tangled limbs, and it takes them a while to get free. Liam walks over to them, laughing too hard to ask if they're okay. 

Niall groans and pushes herself back up, wiping the dust off her jeans. Louis stays on the ground, collecting herself, and she kicks Niall in the leg. "Watch where _you're_ going. How did you not see me?"

"Fuck off," Niall says in response. She notices Liam there. "Oh, hey," she bucks her head in greeting, fixing the hat on her head.

"Hi," Liam says, looking back down at Louis with a smug expression. She bends down and takes her hoodie from off of Louis. "Thank you," she says to Niall. She hits Louis in the face with the sleeve. "Serves you right." She laughs before she skips — _skips_ — away and Louis is too in awe to be upset. 

"Earth to Louis," Niall starts kicking her foot, sighing exasperatedly. "For the love of God, get your ass up."

Louis just sticks her arms out, still looking after where Liam is now turning into a small speck as she disappears pass Louis' field of vision, rounding a corner, her hair flying back, the last thing to be out of sight. Niall rolls her eyes but helps her up regardless, yanking her by the forearms. 

"Ow, Niall!" Louis rubs her wrists after she's standing completely. "God, aggressive much?"

"Your bony elbow in my spleen wasn't much of a good feeling either," Niall fires back, rubbing her side, staring daggers at Louis.

"Sorry," Louis says, picking up her stuff and handing Niall hers. "Hey, Liam wants to go out tomorrow, you down?"

Niall rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "'Course, but I better not be a fucking third wheel." 

"Nah, Harry will be there, I think," Louis shakes her head as they start walking again. 

"Why is it we hang out with her, again?" Niall asks. "I mean, I like her, but she's our R.A., is that not weird, or?" 

Louis shrugs. "Liam's good friends with her, so. Plus, she's really nice, it's not so bad."

Niall nods. "Don't you hate her, though?"

"I don't hate her," Louis laughs as they approach their building. "I just —"

"You're jealous," Niall grins, wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Shut up," Louis says, not denying it, just avoiding it.

Niall laughs, loud and hard, throwing her head back before they step on the elevator. She throws her arm around Louis' shoulder. "Tomlinson, you my friend, are an absolute goner."

Louis sighs, but she can't escape the smile that creeps its way onto her face just at the thought of Liam. "I know."

~

Louis wishes she could say Liam and Harry were singing out of tune, it would give her a valid excuse to have this sloppy grin on her face if they were purposefully being entertaining that way, but no. Liam's singing like an angel and Louis is trapped in her sound, captivated by all that she is and her voice projecting "Behind Those Hazel Eyes" with such effortless grace, her arms swinging out wide with each long note, her hand on her diaphragm for the ones she belts out, pointing every now and then as she rips through the chorus. Louis thinks she's gone, really, so far and totally, gone. 

And Harry's just as good, standing tall in her lanky frame, hands clasped behind her back or swinging out with Liam, adding in harmonies and whatever other music words Louis can't come up with. It shouldn't be so enticing, but it is. They look like sisters, about to make it big through some reality show, and Louis smiles. For some reason it makes her — happy? — that Liam and Harry are friends, not that they're just friends, but that they have each other. Liam's told Louis more about her troubles in school with the other students, and Louis wanted to crumble, but then Liam told her how Harry's always been there for her, always showing up to their house at just the right times it would seem. And Louis can tell it's hard for Harry to make friends, good friends, which is sad because she's so incredibly nice, Louis has learned, and she deserves more than all the crap people give her. And Louis is glad to have met her, really. She does her best to make sure Harry knows she's got some extra love going her way to make up for all of her heart she's given to others that took it for granted or smashed it to the ground. They work well together, Louis thinks, this little group of theirs.

And Zayn's there too, she's been showing up more and more, sneaking off less and less and she claims it's from the amount of work she has to do now, but Louis knows different. While Niall's staring and drooling after her, Zayn is laughing with Louis and her eyes always flit back to Liam, and the thing is, Louis' not — she knows it's just friendly. She knows Zayn's trying harder for Liam, it was kind of hard not to notice the frigid stares Liam gave Zayn when she was around. Zayn asked Louis if she knew what was going on, which she did, but didn't say, just shrugged and said "I think she just misses you, is all" with a sort of emphasis on 'you' so Zayn would know it's more than just her presence Liam wants back. Zayn nodded her head slowly and sat back, plugging her headphones in, and Louis didn't know what to take from that until Zayn came with them to a movie two weeks ago. Liam tried to not be thrilled, Louis could tell, and she squeezed her shoulder because she knew, and tried to get her to calm down, and also she just wanted to touch her. And Louis and Liam have been getting close, kind of into a groove that Louis never wants to get out of. It's easier to be around her, just a little bit though, Liam's not so comfortable with her that Louis can just pin her to the bed and kiss her fiercely, which Louis has had to resist many, many times. But things are sort of homey, feeling just right and everyone knows where they are and who they're with and how to be and Louis thinks this is definitely the best part of college: a home away from home.

So things have been going just great. 

Harry says they're about to get their next competition, now that it's been two months in, a month since the last one. Louis is actually excited, she can't pin why, but she'll be glad to do anything with her floor again, anything with these four girls again, she thinks — she knows it's cheesy, but she doesn't care. She finds herself happy here. She finds herself inexplicably happy sitting here listening to Liam sing her head off, the notes pouring out from her, and she can tell she loves this, she can tell Harry loves it too, and she's happy seeing them be happy.

"Christ, Liam," Niall claps and reaches over to turn the radio down when they finish the song, and she doesn't need to say more, Liam knows what she means. She hops up off of Liam's bed, which she was laying on with Zayn — a "happy accident", she claims — an gives her a standing ovation. 

"Right!" Louis agrees, smiling warmly at Liam, sitting on the edge of Niall's bed. "I told you! You have to keep singing!"

Liam blushes, a lot. "Guys..." She can't help but to beam, glad to finally hear some compliments about her voice. She turns to Harry, who's smiling just as big. 

"And Harry, holy fuck," Louis adds, getting up. "You held that one note forever, Jesus Christ, _how_." Louis grabs her shoulders and looks her in the eye, both of them laughing, Louis out of admiration and Harry out of embarrassment.

"Thanks," Harry says, her eyes down. 

"Seriously," Niall starts again. "You two should be in a group or something." She snaps her fingers, rushing over to her desk. "I could add your CD to my collection!"

" _Niall_ ," Liam presses her hands to her cheeks, and Harry just laughs, fiddling with something on Niall's desk.

Zayn's phone buzzes, echoing through the room as a subject change. She lifts her head off of Liam's pillows and glances at the screen, muttering a "shit" as she gets up. She starts to say bye, before she cuts herself off and walks to Liam. She presses her lips to Liam's cheek, soft and sweet and quick, "So good, babe, really," Zayn tells Liam, her raven hair brushing Liam's shoulder as she pulls away. "Really," she repeats, looking to Harry. "I gotta go, bye," she waves before walking off and Niall's the only one that bids her goodbye.

Louis watches Liam carefully. Her eyes are downcast and her manner is vulnerable. There's a soft smile on her lips and she twirls some hair on her fingers. Louis can't even be — she's not — how could she be mad when Liam looks so goddamn dazzling right now? Simple and lovely and utterly impossible, all the fucking time. 

"What the fuck was that?" Niall asks, obviously not having the same reservations as Louis. Her arms are crossed and her eyebrows are furrowed and she won't take her eyes off of Liam.

"Niall, calm down," Louis says and Liam looks up, out of her daze. 

"Oh, my God, no, no, no," Liam starts, shaking her head. "Niall, it's just friendly, it was just a compliment."

"Well, it looked like much more to me," she grumbles, picking the skin around her fingernails. 

"It's not. It's just — it's this thing, she always compliments me, I guess. She just likes to make sure I know — you know, that I'm... you know," she finishes instead, her eyes darting to Louis. And Louis knows what she means, and she tries to convey it in her smile, a small twitch of her lips and softening of her eyes so Liam does know she is good, she is talented, she is worth it. So worth it, Louis thinks, so, so worth it. She wants to tell her that as she presses breathless kisses all over her body, wants to make Liam feel all that Louis thinks of her, wants to feel Liam against her, hearts mashed as close as can be. 

Harry reaches over and grabs Liam's hand and Niall's stony glare falls as she realizes, and she starts to say something, but then she doesn't, and then,

"Well you are." 

She states it like a fact, which it is, all of them think it, and now Liam is starting to believe it, and there's something in the air surrounding them, something new, but it feels like it was there before, just surfacing now. A right type of feeling with the right type of people, Louis thinks — knows. 

Niall sighs and falls back on her bed, her legs landing in Louis' lap. "Why is she so goddamn hot? And where the fuck does she go all the time? I can't get any action," Niall wiggles her body and Louis laughs, and then Liam joins in, and Harry, and they can't believe Niall, but they're also not surprised at the same time. 

And then someone turns the radio back up, and Liam and Harry start singing again, and Louis and Niall join, horribly off key, and it works.

~

"Zayn!" everyone calls, all heads turning to her. She glances up from her phone, meeting everyone's gazes, not knowing what they're talking about.

"Would you be up for that, Zayn?" Harry asks from the front of the hall they've gathered in.

Liam leans over and whispers the explanation in Zayn's ear, trying to be subtle under all the watching eyes. Zayn nods slowly as Liam talks, her face twists up a bit but she quickly hides it. She sighs when Liam pulls back. "I guess, yeah." Louis can tell she's trying not to roll her eyes.

"Okay, great!" Harry all but applauds, a broad grin on her face, beating the smiles on everyone else's by a long shot. "So, I'm gonna need the idea design by our next meeting, which is the day after tomorrow, do you think you can do that?"

Zayn nods. "Yeah, 's no problem."

"Okay," Harry continues, rubbing her hands together. "So that's really it, we can't plan it all now, but we'll talk more about it next time, and if anyone has any other ideas for the mural please feel free to talk to me, or Zayn, about it, whoever. And we don't have to decide everything now, we don't paint until next Saturday, so we've got plenty of time." She looks over her clipboard one more time, flipping through the papers. "Oh, one more thing, they sent this to all of us, please remember the curfew, okay? We've been getting a lot of complaints from faculty and other students about that, so, yeah, um, I personally don't care if you guys wanna roam about after curfew, but please don't leave the building. They'll start getting people for that now since we are in November, so please be mindful, and yeah, you're free to go." 

Everyone gets up and mills about, back to their rooms or to the elevators or wherever they may be heading. Zayn, Liam, Louis, and Niall stay put with Harry, sitting on the floor as everyone steps over them. A few girls come to say things to Zayn about the mural, whether it's suggestions or encouragement, and Zayn does try to be polite, but she also can't be bothered to and it's a weird mix. The only one who doesn't get a forced smile is a girl named Perrie, and Niall sees, and sits up straighter, and Louis pats her thigh.

"I've seen them together a few times," Niall says through gritted teeth, her eyes following Perrie as she walks down the hall. "I don't like her."

"You're just saying that because you're jealous," Louis says.

"Your point?" Niall says as Harry comes up to them.

She's shaking her hands out. "Gosh, I always get so nervous up there." She wipes them on her thighs.

"Don't be, you did great," Liam assures her. 

"It should get easier as the year goes on, right?" Louis says, leaning forward to wrap her arms around her knees. 

"Yeah, hopefully." Harry picks at her nails. "So what do you guys think of this one? It could be fun, don't you think?" she asks and they all nod and Zayn grumbles, Liam hitting her leg for it.

Harry just told them that their next competition was to paint some type of mural showing school spirit or floor spirit or whatever it was. Each floor got assigned a wall on the campus, and Robinson Hall's going to vote for theirs and they'll vote for Robinson's. They all have to chip in, spending next Saturday afternoon painting away. Louis is interested to see what they put together, and it makes her laugh that Zayn is essentially heading the project. Louis does want to win this, not just for Harry, but something inside her just has a motivation to achieve this, and she doesn't know why; she's going to deny Liam as the reason for as long as she can, at least until she can come up with another one, but she doesn't think she can, and it kind of scares her how much Liam is influencing her life, how gone she is for her, and it's all unrequited. Louis never got a clear answer about if Liam could ever love her like that, when she said she wasn't sure if she liked Zayn's kiss, Louis couldn't tell if it was because it was from Zayn, or from a girl. Louis hopes it was just because it was Zayn, but she knows she's not that lucky. Every time she thinks about what Liam told her, she just wants to grab her by the cheeks and mash her lips against hers, kissing her right and how she deserves it, real, tender, sober, and from someone who genuinely loves all that she is. Louis doesn't doubt Zayn loves Liam, but it's definitely not the same, and Louis thinks Liam deserves more than Zayn, especially when she's sitting right here, her heart practically exploding, emotion swelling through the cracks and seeping all through her chest and then body, filling everything Louis is with Liam. 

"As long as it has purple in it, it's going to be great," Liam says, eyeballing Zayn, her tongue poking from between her teeth in amusement.

Zayn groans. "Liam, for the love of God, why do you like such girly things? What about black, or red, or..." Zayn sighs, "not purple." 

Liam just laughs and lays her head on Zayn's shoulder, looping her arm through hers. "But purple's so pretty," she says, her voice lighter and higher, cuter.

"Absolutely not," Zayn says, snickering a little. 

"God, if we were roomed together I would make _everything_ purple. Lavender, more specifically," Liam teases.

Zayn looks to the ceiling. "Kill me now." Still, she slides her arm around Liam's back, her fingers resting on her side, playing with her shirt. 

Liam just laughs some more, and Louis is glad she's feeling better about Zayn, really, she is. But, she can't help the twinge of anger in her chest, just a small twinge, because it's, like Liam said, really fucking frustrating to watch them together, and to have Liam coming to Louis about Zayn and to have Zayn barely acknowledge there's a problem, and Louis is so confused most of the time, and so irritated because _God_ she wants Liam, and Zayn's got her on this string of intimacy Louis wishes she had with her, and she's sad. Sad she can't hold, kiss, touch, Liam whenever and however she wants and it's silly to say but she misses Liam, even though she's right there and they hang out a lot — really, a lot, Louis got lucky with that one — it's different now because maybe something cleared up with her and Zayn, and Liam just feels different to be around now but it's a small difference, but it's big enough for Louis to notice, but Louis feels at this point she would notice if Liam trimmed her split ends. 

So she tries not to stare when they do things like this, because it really hurts her, and also because if she stares too long she know she won't be able to stop, and she doesn't trust herself well enough to not react. And Niall almost always stops her, which she is very grateful for, and Louis does the same for her because it is Zayn and Liam, and life has just been hard for them on those fronts. Niall and Louis have been hanging out more as well, and it's easy for Louis to be close with her because of this, and their first day here, and Louis just knows Niall's a good friend, a best friend, and she's glad she met her first to be honest; her year could've gone a lot different so far if she hadn't.

"Louis?" Liam calls, untangling herself from Zayn. 

"Yeah?" She scoots away from Niall just a little, leaning towards Liam.

"Did you still want to get something to eat? We never got a chance." Liam stands, adjusting her jeans, hopping around a little to pull them back up. Impossible. 

"Oh, uh," Louis starts. They had been studying for another Human Geography test before the meeting, as soon as they both walked in the dorms they hit the books. It's evening now, and the more Louis thinks about it, her stomach grumbles. "Yeah, I'm starving." She stands up as well.

"Great, me too. Anyone else want to come?" Liam (of course) asks and Louis' heart sinks just a fraction of a bit, wanting to enjoy time alone with her. 

Zayn already slinked off without anyone's noticing, including Niall who's got some type of radar on her usually, and Harry shakes her head saying she just ate. Louis glances to Niall, almost begging with her eyes, and Niall shrugs says she's good, walking off back to her room. 

Harry says bye and "remember the curfew," almost as a joke, but Louis can tell she's somewhat serious, although Liam would never keep them out past it. They grab their room keys and head out to some sandwich shop on campus, tucking themselves in a booth in the back, and Liam surprises herself and Louis by sliding in next to her. Louis tries not to have a heart attack, but her breath hitches and her heart rate speeds up and she can't help it if her leg shakes the more Liam's shoulder presses into hers. She spends more time watching Liam nibble on her panini so she doesn't burn her mouth, watching her dab the napkin at the edge of her lips, watching the way her jaw moves with each bite, watching her tongue flick out every now and then to catch some crumbs on her lips, watching her take sips from her pink lemonade, watching her be. Liam glances at Louis some times and Louis pretends she's been eating her sandwich all the same, even though there's only one bite taken out of it.

"Do you not like it?" Liam asks, pointing to the turkey sub in her hand.

"No, no, I do, it's just — guess I'm not as hungry as I thought," Louis says wistfully, flitting her eyes back and forth, trying not to stare at Liam but not wanting to not stare; she's so goddamn beautiful. Impossible.

"Oh, well can I have your cookie?" Liam asks, pulling some bread apart and popping it in her mouth.

"Yeah, sure," Louis hands it to her, their hands brushing for too long of a moment to be brief, but too short of one to be awkward. But Louis still feels her stomach swoop and her cheeks get hot and Liam is offering the most sincere of smiles and Louis feels too at peace. Even with all this turmoil inside her. 

And when they leave, Louis takes a chance, and she reaches for Liam's hand and Liam's the one who spreads her fingers so Louis can fit hers in between, and Louis feels inflated like a hot air balloon, everything inside her beaming like the sun as she swings their arms together. And Liam carries on the conversation, all about how much she loves her music classes and she and Louis talk more about teaching possibly, but end up sharing stories from their former years at school, and Louis is so lost in the chestnut hair of Liam's that flies back in the wind, some of it tickling Louis' face, the way Liam talks so animatedly with her hands, tugging the one attached to Louis' along as she speaks, the rapid movements of Liam's lips as she tells Louis all about the people in school who were actually nice to her, the laughs they had in gym class in a dodgeball game gone incredibly wrong for their team, in the best way. And Louis thinks she feels just as happy as Liam did when she got a piggy back ride from her best friend out of the gym, the smiles on both of their faces right now, seeming just as equal and bright.

~ 

"God, my arm hurts, can't we take a break?" Niall whines and everyone shouts a "no!" back at her, even Zayn.

"Niall," Liam warns.

"You just took a break not even five minutes ago," Louis points out, dipping her brush in the white paint. 

Niall just groans and falls to the ground, crawling over to Louis' leg, which she clutches like a child. 

Louis kicks her. "Get the fuck off me." Niall shakes her head fiercely and Louis responds by adding polka dots to her face with the paint. Niall doesn't budge and Liam shakes her head at them as Louis starts doodling on Niall, paying more attention to her than the mural. 

"Niall! Get your ass off the ground!" Zayn yells, coming up to them, brandishing a brush, her button down shirt open and billowing in the wind. Her hair is tied back and there's paint strokes on her jaw. Niall scrambles to her feet.

"Yes, ma'am," she concedes — _whipped_ , Louis thinks — grabbing her paint roller again. She paints idly while she stares at Zayn, whose focus is on Louis now. 

"Don't encourage her to be a lazy fuck," Zayn says, teasing, both of them laughing when Niall scoffs and mumbles under her breath. "That's cute, though." She reaches out and runs her fingers along Niall's jaw before she grabs her cheek, turning her head to look at it. Louis sees Niall's chest stop moving, sees her frozen in place as Zayn stares her over, eyeing the freckles and flowers Louis drew on her. "Fits you," Zayn tells Niall, who might as well just scream "I'm in love with you" with the reaction she just gave — complete swooning. Zayn hums and pokes Niall's cheek again before smacking it lightly. "Get back to work." She pats Louis'. "You too." She walks off, running her hand across Liam's back as she walks by, Liam turning from her part of the mural to smile back at her. 

Louis can't be uncomfortable, she's gotten all too familiar with their little actions and touches and stares over the past week and a half. She knows they're nothing more than what they are, which is friends. Almost admiring them (Zayn made sure there was plenty of purple paint out for the mural and Liam's been using the black). And, there's no way Louis can be uncomfortable anymore after the other day, when she and Niall walked in on Zayn touching herself — well, Louis did, and quickly ran back out of the room so Niall wouldn't see, shutting the door hard and pushing Niall out into the hall. Zayn didn't seem too fazed by it, just shrugged it off when Louis walked in their room later that night, claiming "you gotta do what you gotta do," and Louis nodded, agreeing and understanding, but not to the point she was going to be okay with Zayn ever walking in on her. And they ended up having a long conversation afterwards, staying up until three talking about nothing and everything, and Louis is glad because she thinks they really needed that. Louis decided, fuck it, and straight up asked Zayn about her and Liam, and Zayn laughed, not surprised. 

"It's about time you two get together," Zayn said, so simply, waving her phone around. "I've been waiting since, like, the first week, _do something_." 

And Louis does, really, wants to do something about it. But she doesn't know what or how and she just wants Liam, now. Zayn told her her side of all the summer stuff, knowing that it's been the cause of tension in their friendship for a while, and she really is trying to get better about it, not just for Liam but for herself. Louis told her about her time with that in high school, letting Zayn know she can talk to her if she needs to whenever she wants. Zayn nodded and told Louis that there's a 90 percent chance Liam won't turn her down, and as Zayn clicked the light off for the night, Louis stayed up and bit her nails over the other ten percent.

Harry comes up to them, paint all over her arms, telling them they're doing a great job. They've only been out here for a couple of hours and Louis thinks they're doing really well. They're nowhere near done, but what they have is only bound to get better. Zayn decided to have their mascot, a lion, roaring and surrounded by — thanks, Liam — a purple orb of electricity or whatever Zayn said. There's going to be a black backdrop, which they'll decorate with silver to have their floor and building and whatever other crap they want to write on it, and the black will be edged of by a stripe of white then maroon then white again on either side, the school colors. They were all a little skeptical at first, but after Zayn showed them her design, the purple not being exactly the bright lavender Liam was hoping for, but more complementary to the rest of it, it worked, surprisingly. Louis knows Harry's intention is to win, and could see her chewing her lip over the design at the last meeting, but didn't say anything and let everyone get excited for it and let Zayn have her moment, which will probably never happen again. Zayn's spearheading this pretty well, taking over the lion part with some other art majors on their floor, making the stencil while everyone paints the background. 

After a while, everyone goes for a lunch break, having worked well into the afternoon. Zayn and Harry and a few others stay behind to work on the lion, since everyone else is done. Liam, Louis, and Niall go back to that barbecue place, mostly to get Niall to shut up about it, and Liam sits herself next to Louis, complaining all about the paint under her fingernails with a pout on her face as she plays with her straw and Louis can't stop the word impossible from floating to the front of her mind again.

When they return, the lion is finished, and they all cheer, and it looks so much better than they originally thought. Harry's got paint all in her hair, sopping her curls, but she doesn't seem to care as she joins the others on the green while they wait for it to dry a little. Harry said everyone could go back to their rooms and clean up or study or whatever it is they want to do until a few hours go by, but no one moves, no one leaves. They end up playing a game of charades right there on the lawn, and Louis can feel the energy around her buzzing like a light, those kinds of lanterns you stick outside to get the bugs, and Louis gets that, she doesn't want to leave either. She's enveloped in the light of her floor, of her friends, and captivated and entranced and comfortable. And Harry's got a huge grin on her face even though she tries to hide it, and Niall's laugh fills all the silence, and Zayn's participating and enjoying herself, and Liam's just so _Liam_ Louis doesn't know what to do with herself. She's giggling and confused and enthusiastic and _glowing_ and Louis feels pulled in to her more than she ought to be. 

"Okay! I think it's good," Zayn says, walking up to the wall and running her finger along it, paint coming off. "Well, good enough. We'll just block off the lion for this."

Somehow in the midst of their two hour charade game, they decided to splatter paint the black with silver and white instead, and they'll write 'Dawson Four' under the lion once they've finished completely. Louis gets her brushes ready along with everyone else, all the leftover paint buckets spewed about. Three girls decide to hold up a huge piece of cardboard to block the lion from the splatters, and Louis doesn't know why, they've kamikazed themselves basically, bound to get hit. But as soon as Harry says "Go!" they're laughing even more than the rest of the girls as they get flicked with the paint drops. 

Their aim is quite horrible, Louis thinks, she's sure she's seeing more paint flying on the grass and trees than their mural. But, she doesn't care, no one else does either, they're all having the best time, she thinks, at least she is. It becomes a rhythm, drenching her brush in one color, flicking her wrist as hard as she can to get the paint on the wall, trying to find the mark she made, only to glance for a second, just some type of confirmation, before she repeats. Dip, flick, dip, flick, dip, flick —

Some lands on her face, and she looks around to see who did it, but all the girls are running around throwing paint at each other, even the three holding the cardboard abandoned their posts to join in. Louis sees Liam getting Zayn's hair, and then Niall is right in front of Louis, flicking some at her shirt. Louis retaliates and chases her down, running with the bucket in one hand and the brush in the other. They get to Liam and Zayn and Zayn curses "shit!" and runs off waving her arms wildly and they all start to chase her, before giving up and just attacking each other. Laughter is surrounding them, echoing in the quad, filing out into the whole campus, filling everything. 

Liam runs off while Louis' got her attention focused on Niall, flicking bits of silver all in her hair and over her shirt and skin. Then Niall's about to strike back, but her eyes widen and she jumps to the side, and Louis doesn't have time to be confused before she feels herself getting drenched. 

She stands there, frozen in place as the white paint drips down her body, making her hair heavy, catching on her eyelashes, pooling at her feet. She hears maniacal laughter behind her, and she knows, she _knows_ it's coming from Liam. She turns around slowly, wiping the paint from her eyes with her fingers, flicking it on the ground. 

Liam is bent over, her face red, trying to breathe as she looks over Louis. All the other girls helped her, apparently, because the bucket they used is rather big, and they're all standing there laughing as well, and Liam is high-fiving all of them. 

Louis starts to laugh, almost grimly, forced and dry, sardonic, as she tries to process all of this. The laughter starts to die down and the girls start to back away as her face gets harder. 

"Aw, did you not enjoy that?" Liam tries, laughter escaping her with every other word.

Louis shakes her head. "No, no, it was fantastic, actually." A smile starts to take its place on her face, and Liam arches a brow, confused.

"Oh, really?"

"Yup, so great," Louis nods, opening her arms. "Come here. I have to hug you for it, to show my appreciation. Come here." She steps closer to Liam, who takes a step back. Everyone moves out of the way as Louis advances towards Liam, giving Liam room to run away, which she does, takes off flying, and Louis is quick on her feet, chasing after her with much more adrenaline than she had in her soccer games. She follows as Liam laughs and shrieks and weaves through people and trees, getting closer and closer the more Liam has to hesitate where to go. Liam turns a corner, going into a place between two building walls, and she's barely rounded it when Louis grabs her by the arm, making her scream. Louis laughs and wraps her arms tight around Liam's, locking her in place, and she wiggles their bodies so Liam gets covered in paint. Liam tries to get Louis to stop, but she's laughing too hard, and Louis starts to run her arms and hands along Liam's, painting her with her fingers. 

"Don't you just love hugs, Liam?" Louis teases, swaying them back and forth, her grip tight on Liam. "God, I love to hug my friends, show how much I love and appreciate them, they're just the best! Don't you think?" Louis laughs and she starts to rub her paint soaked face against Liam's shoulder, then her neck, then her cheeks and then —

her lips brush Liam's.

Louis' gasps, putting her fingertips to her lips. Liam freezes in place and Louis jumps back, but not too far.

Louis tries to stare at the ground, so Liam can't see her tomato red cheeks, but she can't help it, she has to look at Liam, has to look directly into her chocolate eyes and warm sugar cinnamon aura and she finds Liam staring right back at her, her eyes' never leaving Louis'. Louis feels the pull again, and she knows she should but she just can't stop herself from giving into it, and she takes a step forward. Her heart is beating fast and her palm is sweaty as she reaches up to cup Liam's neck with it, licking her lips. Liam's eyes are hooded but hopeful, Louis chooses to believe, but then she can't wait anymore, and she doesn't care, she needs the feeling again, and she leans in. 

And so does Liam. 

And then their lips are pressed together, and Louis' skin ignites and her whole body is flushed with warmth and she can't breathe. But then Liam places a hand on the small of her back and Louis opens her lips just enough to slot Liam's soft — Louis was right, so, so, soft — ones against hers, running her tongue along her bottom lip before tugging at it gently. Liam gasps and lets Louis find her way in, their lips moving in a perfect rhythm, like the waves of the ocean Liam sees in Louis' eyes, and their tongues slide together and Louis can't stop herself from threading her fingers through Liam's hair and pushing her back against the wall. Liam slits a leg between Louis' and moves her hands down to swell of Louis' ass, resting them there gently, tentatively, the opposite of how their mouths are moving, fierce and hot, and Louis loves the taste of Liam. Then Liam squeezes and Louis practically yelps, Liam using the opportunity to tilt her head and tug back on Louis' lip, pulling her in again, kissing her deeply. And at the same time Louis realizes she's _kissing_ Liam she hears their names being called. 

They break apart, barely having time to breathe before half their floor has found them. They're all laughing and smiling and Louis can't help but to think that they're fools for laughing when nothing can compare to the feeling of kissing Liam.

They crowd around them and one of them yells, "I told you she'd get her!" as they begin pull their arms to shuffle them out of the alleyway. 

"Did you get what you wanted?" another one asks Louis and her heart flutters and she glances at Liam who's got paint all over her and disheveled hair and a blush on her cheeks as she stares back at her and Louis nods.

"Yeah, exactly what I wanted," she says, and the girls laugh and start to walk ahead of her and she presses her fingers to her lips again, still feeling Liam against her, and she smiles. Big. 

~

They take a group picture in front of their wall, getting some guy to snap the photo for them. Everyone wants Harry to be in the front, with Zayn, since they ran most of this. Louis and Liam stand in the back, not like they had a choice, everyone ushered around them and they got pressed together. Once everyone's settled, posing and smiling, Harry tells the guy to take the picture. He's about to press the shutter button, and Louis feels something brush against her wrist, then it's sliding down to her hand, and she realizes it's Liam's. She tries not to be too startled, her smile for more than just the picture as Liam laces her fingers with hers, squeezing them tight as the flash goes off. Louis squeezes back as they take two more pictures, and she can't stop the warmth from Liam's palm spreading to hers, going all over her body, filling her heart up, her cheeks tinted under the drying paint on her face. 

"Louis and Liam should take some! Since they're all covered up," someone suggests and everyone around them buzzes with yeses and nods.

"That's a great idea," Harry smiles, taking the camera back. Louis drops Liam's hand as they get shoved up to the front. Liam glances to Louis and she just shrugs, poking at the paint splotch right on Liam's cheek. "Okay, a few serious ones first," Harry says, already putting the camera up to her eye. 

Liam drapes her arm around Louis' shoulder, her side pressed up against hers. Louis slips hers behind Liam's back, sticking her other hand on her hip for a pose. She feels comfortable here, with Liam, and the smile on her face grows more than it should. Harry snaps what feels like a hundred pictures of them, some of them with silly faces, others almost candid because Louis and Liam were complaining instead of smiling, and a few with different poses, like piggy back rides or the Charlie's Angel pose, or one that leaves Louis feeling hot and flushed all over; they clasped their hands back together, extending their arms straight down, turned into to face each other with their cheeks smashed together as they smiled towards the camera, and all Louis can think is soft, soft, soft. Liam's skin, her slightly chubby cheeks, her grip on Louis, her hair, her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her heart, her. Everything about Liam is so soft and it always leaves Louis feeling like she's on fire. 

"I want every single one of those, Harry," Liam points at her when she's finally given up on taking pictures. "And I'll let you know which ones you're allowed to keep." She laughs a little, looking back to Louis. Warm. Like the beach. Impossible. 

"I'm sure you look great in all of them," Harry tries and Liam just jabs her in the shoulder, making Harry laugh. "Okay, okay, deal. Gosh."

And then they walk off, and Louis is just left staring after them, after Liam, wondering where the hell her goodbye went, or why Liam left at all. She gets her bearings, shaking her hands out and trying not to look so _giddy_ but she can't, she _kissed_ Liam. Kissed her. And Liam kissed her back. And held her hand. A lot. On purpose. And Louis can't help but to think Liam wants all those pictures because Louis is in them, she knows that's why she wants them. 

"You're so smitten, will you stop it, it's disgusting," Niall says, coming up to Louis with a bag of chips in her hand. They set up a little table of snacks and stuff since they're done with the mural, some people already cleaning up the mess. Niall rests her elbow on Louis' shoulder.

"God, you're bony, you'd think with all that crap you shove down your throat you'd have some more meat on your bones," Louis whines, rolling her shoulders. 

Niall just shrugs. "At least I'm not ready to die just because Liam held my hand."

Louis opens her mouth to retort there was more, there was a kiss, but then she closes it, wanting to keep this to herself for a bit. She should talk to Liam she knows, but Liam's gone off and walked away with Harry. And Louis can't help but to wonder why now, because Liam is the one who grabbed Louis' hand, and Louis is utterly confused. Maybe Liam only returned the kiss as a reaction? Maybe she didn't mean it at all? Maybe she squeezed Louis' hands out of pity, "oh sorry, I'm still straight you caught me by surprise, but you're still my friend." Something in Louis deflates, and she feels her chest concave after it, her heart beating fast and she feels almost... almost broken, empty. And nothing's even happened yet. All she's wanted for months and she doesn't even know what it means, and she knows her luck, it probably doesn't mean anything good for her.

"Hey, you alright?" Niall asks, putting a hand on Louis' arm, and Louis tries to nod, but it's obviously a shake, and Niall's about to ask another question but Louis can't breathe and she's taking off, walking fast, away from all of this. She needs air, fresh, alone, and she hides behind a wall, kneeling on the ground, thinking, breathing.

She sits there for a while, her thoughts going as numb as her butt and soon she doesn't really remember why she even came there at all. But then there's a "hi," and Liam's there, walking tentatively towards her, and all the air Louis got back in her lungs is knocked out of her. 

She tries to stand, her legs wobbly and not as formidable as she'd like; she feels fragile, and under Liam's careful gaze she could crumble. 

"What're you doing over here?" Liam starts, timidly, leaning against the wall.

"I just, uh. Um. Needed to be alone for a while, I guess," Louis says, not meeting Liam's eyes.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Everything inside Louis screams _yes, please, because you're so fucking impossible and I don't know what I'd do if you rejected me, please spare me_ but she offers up a cracked whisper of a _no_ , shaking her head small and light. Liam steps closer. 

"Good, because I really didn't want to." She tucks some hair behind her ear as she closes the distance again and Louis can't stop the pull that turns her body toward Liam. They face each other, shoulders pressed into the brick and Liam is swallowing hard, her eyes darting around and Louis' heart feels like it's about to burst out of her chest. 

"So, um," Louis starts.

"We should, um," Liam says, but then she licks her lips, two different perfect shades of pink meeting and Louis feels a little mesmerized as she breathes her in. Liam's hand finds Louis' arm and her head tucks to the side a little. Louis feels she looks young and impressionable again, and she wants so badly to leave her mark on her, she closes the gap and runs a hand through Liam's hair. Liam's breath intakes as she brushes her lips over Louis' again, as if they're not quite sure they should do this after all of this, but then she closes her eyes and gives it her all and Louis is dazed.

The feeling is sweet and just a tad familiar, and Louis wants to be able to know it like the back of her hand, wants to be able to weave her way in and out of it like the walls at her old house, wants it to be home. She fits her leg between Liam's as she sucks down on her lip, bringing up blood in a rush of color and lust and Liam moans softly. She locks her fingers behind Louis' neck and pushes farther into the kiss, deeper, parting her lips, letting Louis in. Louis only nips at her bottom lip before sliding her tongue over it, then over her teeth, between them, tracing Liam. Liam works her mouth to feel everything, to feel Louis, to kiss her back just as rough and tender as they shouldn't be doing but they are. It's when Liam's hand slides down to Louis' butt again, and she presses her waist firm against Louis', sliding down a little to feel the pressure of Louis' thigh between her legs that they get lost. Liam feels lost at sea, knowing she's got this life boat and first aid kit to keep her safe and supported while the water chops her back and forth, and Louis feels lost in a fairy tale, in a world of magic and sparks and colors that shouldn't be real but it is and it's not just imagination and it's absolutely wonderful. 

Louis can't help it, the intensity is growing big and warm in her stomach, like a fire, expanding and spreading all though her body, up her throat and to where their lips meet in this almost sinful embrace, down to where Liam's leg is starting to press against her middle, applying pressure just where it needs to be for Louis to moan outwardly, slotting herself with Liam in all the wrong ways but right feelings. 

"Fuck," Louis breathes out against Liam's mouth. Her hands slide down to her waist, thumbs pushing into the extra skin there, trailing her other fingers along the line of Liam's pants. There's some paint caked there and Louis chips it off as she fiddles her fingers along Liam's side, Liam's own hands pressing into Louis' ass. 

"Please," is all Liam says, voice cracked and pleading, nodding her head after Louis' fingers start to flit under the waistline. Her grip on Louis strengthens and she feels ready to explode. 

Louis has to, she pulls back, not taking her hands off of her though. "You sure?" she asks, looking into Liam's almost sandy irises with sincerity.

"Please, yes," Liam's chest is rising and falling, her eyebrows knitted in want.

"Have you ever, um —"

"No, but I want to — you. I want you to. I want you." 

Louis can't stop her chest from swelling and the pressure just builds and Louis can't wait to have her mouth on Liam again. She whispers an "okay" as she smashes herself against Liam's lips another time, kissing her rough and deep and sloppy as she works her pants down. They forget where they are, they forget the paint still caked on their bodies, they forget everything as Louis gets on her knees in front of Liam. 

Louis takes her thumb and trails it from Liam's belly button all the way down, brushing just over the tip of Liam's cunt through her cotton undies. "God," she moans. She kisses Liam's thigh, tucking her underwear to the side as her lips trail over Liam's bikini line, flitting her tongue further in. Liam's leg twitches and Louis pulls her underwear down all the way before she hoists Liam's thighs onto her shoulders, fitting just right between, Liam still supporting herself with the wall behind them. Louis looks her over, takes her in; she focuses on the glisten and swallows, her throat dry and her mind not knowing how to swallow, how to process. "You're so wet," she almost whispers. She presses her fingers up against her cunt again, placing kisses just above. Liam whimpers.

Louis flits her tongue down, trailing over the tip of her core, moving her hands to Liam's waist. She begins to kiss at it, leaving wet and sloppy marks as best she can, tasting Liam. She sucks at her, long and lingering and fast and quick, Liam starting to buzz around her. Louis takes her tongue and whisks it down, following the line of Liam, straight down to the wetness pooling there. She flicks her tongue around her, Liam shivering, before she lets it slip in. Liam moans. Louis slips her tongue in more, curling it and pushing it in farther as her thumbs push into Liam's hips and Liam's back pushes into the wall. She makes a pattern of it, sucking at Liam and pressing her mouth firm against her, trailing her tongue lightly before sliding it in, working her. 

Liam's breaths go heavy and Louis takes her wet mouth and kisses at Liam's pussy again, sucking and grazing her teeth, running her tongue along. She slides her fingers back, just pressing them against her as she works her mouth, Liam's legs kicking, her breath getting increasingly shallow as she moans out. Louis can feel her own wetness building as she sticks a finger inside Liam. Warm and soft. She works it up and down. Two fingers, curling and twisting them. She makes her tongue go flat pressing hard up against Liam, flicking quick, fucking her fast. Liam's body shakes more, her thighs going tense against Louis shoulders, her moans short lived and frequent as she finally comes, muscles contracting around Louis' fingers and her slick pouring over Louis' tongue. Her body falls slack against the wall and Louis helps to hold her up, putting her undies back on her before she stands to meet Liam. 

Liam's eyes find Louis in their daze, looking purely euphoric. Her lips twitch into a smile. "Your lips are shiny," she says almost with a laugh before her eyes grow a shade darker and she grabs at Louis' neck, pulling her close. They're foreheads are resting against each other and Liam licks her lips again before meeting them with Louis', sliding her tongue in immediately to taste herself. 

Louis will never lose the taste of Liam. She sucks at her lip, her tongue, trying to give Liam all she's asking for. Liam's hands grip at the curves in Louis' waist, her nails beginning to dig as the kiss grows. It's anything but methodical, it's desperate, it's want, it's need. It's Liam and Louis. Louis is _kissing_ Liam, melding her body with hers and their two beings seem to mash into one, into one purpose as their hands roam and as their lips touch. 

It feels like an eternity's passed when they break, and Louis doesn't even know how or why they did, it just happened. The sky is darker now, full of twinges of color as the sun begins to set. She almost laughs, wondering how much time really has passed. 

Liam's stomach grumbles. 

She laughs, sweet. "Hungry," she mumbles, looking down at her belly. 

"I can tell," Louis says, smiling a bit. She can't stop the inevitable, though. She feels it, the split. The split in what just happened, what they've just done, and in reality. All Louis can think about is the paint covering both of them from the project that was only an hour ago, an hour before Louis' fantasies melted with reality to create some sort of bliss tale, never to be read again. She gulps as she takes in her surroundings, the brick walls surrounding them, the trees in the shadows, the dulling campus beyond them. She doesn't want to be here. She wants Liam. 

"Liam..." Louis starts, wanting to know what the hell all this is.

Liam sighs, but threads her fingers with Louis' still. "Remember when I told you Zayn kissed me? You asked if I liked it?"

Louis nods, eyes peeking up to meet Liam's, hope beating in her chest.

She tucks some hair behind her ear. "I — I think I did. I know I did. I just didn't, I don't know, didn't believe myself, I guess? I never — that never even — that thought never occurred to me and I guess it was always there and it didn't bother me until I acknowledged it, you know? But, like, I don't know, it was just weird to think, like suddenly this is me, even though it was part of me all along, like I just never knew it but I did. And — I don't know." She exhales and pulls Louis' hand closer to her chest, her heart. "But, then, I'm with you, and I — I know it. I just, get this way with you. I feel safe with you, I can be myself. And you're — you make me laugh and you tell me things that make me feel good and I trust you and I just feel this thing with you, Louis. I feel like wanting to kiss you all the time, wanting to fall asleep with you and wanting to hold your hand and be with you. Because, you're — your eyes are so blue and you've got the nicest hair and the best smile and the cutest nose and the biggest heart and I honestly am scared about it. Have been since the first day, I think. I never knew what to do about it, about liking you, still don't, really. You make me so, make me — shit, you really suck for doing this to me," she says and Louis gasps.

"Me doing this to you? What about you doing this to me!" Louis all but yells, still keeping her fingers tangled tight with Liam's, trying to stop the blush from rising at Liam's words. "I've — fuck, Liam, right from that first day, shit, I've been so — God, I really like you. I really, really, do, but I thought you would never return the feeling so I've spent all these months all, well, tortured, basically, gone for you and you didn't even know. And, you're always so confusing and _impossible_ I never knew what to expect from you. You'd always be with Harry or Zayn, being all these things I wanted and I just — I didn't know what to do with you. I wanted you — want you, still. And you tell me things that just, God. Or when you tell me about all the people that have been mean to you, I can just never understand why they would do that to you because you are just, just amazing. You really are, and I just, I love your smile and your eyes and you always look so happy and I want to know how and why, and I wanna be that — with you. And when you sing, oh my God, _Liam_ , you're just, perfect. And I think you should be told that all the time." Louis' eyes don't leaves Liam's, and she feels a weird combination of anxious and bright and Liam smiles it right back at her, squeezing their joined hands. "So don't you dare talk about me sucking for doing this to _you_ , if anything, it's you who sucks. You _nerd_ ," she teases and Liam's tongue sticks between her teeth as she smiles, her cheekbones meeting her eyes, curving them into crescents, her nose scrunching up in delight and Louis can't resist poking it. Liam laughs and pulls Louis closer, hugging her tight, both elated. 

"I think you might be my biggest problem," Liam mumbles into Louis' hair, smelling the jasmine there.

"Good," Louis says, her mouth pressed into Liam's shoulder, her hair surrounding her, the vanilla again. "Because you're definitely mine."

"Good," Liam says, smiling into Louis' neck. Her stomach grumbles again. 

"C'mon," Louis laughs, pulling away, grabbing Liam's hand again, a bright smile on both of their faces. "Let's go get you fed."

"Yeah, because you've already eaten," Liam quips, a twinkle in her eyes and Louis' almost pop out of her head at Liam's innuendo, shoving her to the side as they begin to walk. Liam falls into a guffaw, throwing her head back in pride at her joke and in Louis' reaction; Louis watches her, shaking her head but feeling perfectly content and she can't help but to laugh with Liam. 

They hold hands as they walk to the cafeteria, paint beginning to peel off their skin.

~

Keeping it a secret wouldn't have been an option even if they really tried. Zayn knew as soon as Louis came back to their room last night, smugly noting, "if you go walking around like that every time you get some you're never gonna get laid again," and Louis could only scoff before, "then again, Liam is always one to please others," with a twitch of the eyebrow and Louis trying to hold in a cough. She tried to play it off but Zayn told her to save it, getting up and patting her on the back with a big sloppy kiss to the cheek, congratulating her before she went to shower. 

Niall found out with a big flourish — what else — of exploding into Louis and Zayn's room the next morning, flouncing onto Louis' bed. She was mumbling stupid things with a big grin on her face and Louis was just trying to get her from off her spleen. Liam came running in after, trying to get Niall to calm down, Zayn telling them all to shut up, and eventually it became so much noise Harry had to come in and quiet them down, Niall, of course, screaming it out, and then Harry knew. And half their floor. The general response was "about time" to which Liam blushed fiercely and scurried off back to her room while Niall buzzed endlessly in Louis' ear about it, knee still in her spleen. 

Louis found her way to Liam a while after, snuggling up close to her on her bed. 

"'S weird to think everyone was, like, rooting for us, or something," Liam says, laughing lightly, resting her head against Louis'.

"Yeah," Louis agrees, still smiling from all that's happened in the past hours. She tangles her fingers with Liam's. "But that doesn't matter, right? Just what we think."

"Yeah," Liam says, turning her head to face Louis. "And I think I wanna kiss you again, but I also think Niall's gonna barge in as soon as I do."

"I think," Louis starts, shifting her head closer, her eyes moving down to Liam's lips. "I don't care." Liam's mouth forms a flicker of a smile before their lips meet again. Louis runs her hand up Liam's side, landing it in her hair, and Liam keeps hers planted firm on Louis' waist, squeezing every now and then. Their lips meld together, moving in a rhythm, pressing completely close, completely together. They start to fall against Liam's bed, legs twisting together, grips on each other tighter, lungs begging for air, but they don't break apart. Not until Niall does eventually barge in, groaning loudly when she sees them, causing them to scramble apart before her face breaks into a huge smile and she plops herself between them on the bed. She gives them each big kisses and noogies, messing up their hair, the both of them complaining, Niall's counterpoint being that they were already ruining their hair while they were making out. Louis pushes her off the bed, kissing Liam goodbye before she slides off herself, going back to her room.

And the weeks go on, just as a part of the lives they've made here, and Louis is grateful that Niall and Zayn don't comment too much on it after the initial thing, and Harry never would, she couldn't be anything but happy for them, and Liam is grateful, too. It also means almost no complaining whenever they are together around them, or together away from them, which is a lot. Whenever Louis' not with Niall, she's with Liam, and Niall ends up hanging out with Zayn, who found the time to be with Niall — Louis endlessly remarking how they're gonna start dating and fall in a deep kind of love all because of Liam and Louis, and Niall shushes her each time, blushing still. And whenever Liam's not with Louis, she's with Harry, and there's few times when they're all together, or more than three of them are, but it's okay, because, like Liam said, everyone is rooting for them. 

Louis, surprisingly, finds herself not throwing herself at Liam every chance she gets; it's just... natural. It's not anything but what it's supposed to be, what it is, it's them. Greeting and fleeting kisses, kisses for no reason, kisses because they want to; lying together just because, or to watch a movie, or because they claimed they were studying but it turned into anything but. They take up about eighty five percent of each other's time, and it's no different than before, they just pass it by differently, obviously. Liam even sings for Louis more, or, she just sings lightly to herself, dabbling for a bit in this song or that, just a few notes, but it's only when Louis' around; she trusts Louis, which is more than anything Louis could hope for. Liam's comfortable with herself around Louis, and Louis always gives her compliments and does whatever she can to turn Liam's frowns into smiles, even if only for a while, and she knows she's far too comfortable for her own good. Or, there's times when Liam's not doing anything in particular, maybe humming quietly or taking notes furiously, biting on the end of her pen or her fingernail, tucking hair behind her ear or up into a ponytail, or maybe she's just sitting there, reading, eating, breathing, whatever, sometimes Louis just can't help the way her stomach swoops and her chest swells and her heart flutters and she has to kiss her. Kisses her for no reason other than because she feels absolutely lucky and Liam is absolutely beautiful. And every time Liam asks her "What was that for?" with a smile playing on her lips and a tiny scrunch of her nose, Louis can't help but to grin and shake her head "no reason," pressing her lips for another kiss and they lose complete focus on all else. They get distracted quite a lot; Liam's barely pulling a B average and Louis really couldn't care less as opposed to the tiny sliver of worry she usually has for her grades, but how can she freak over something so trivial when she's in Elysium?

It's when they're walking out of their last Human Geography class before break, that Louis feels it. They're hands are clasped together as the wind picks up, their arms swinging between them, almost giddy to go home for a while. Liam's laughing at Louis, and spins herself in front of her, walking backwards as they approach a bench, hand still gripping Louis' tightly. 

"I have a question for you," Liam starts.

"Shoot," Louis says as they sit. They stretch their legs out in front of them and tangle their feet together. 

"Okay, well, would you — I mean, I guess it's not really a question, but it is, but I —"

"Liam!" Louis interjects, laughing a little at her flustered state, wanting her to get the point across.

"Right, sorry," Liam's cheeks flush a little. "Um, I just — I want you to meet my parents."

Louis would spit if she was drinking something. "What? Like, over break? Thanksgiving Break?"

Liam nods sheepishly. "Well, yeah, it won't be too bad, like, I live an hour away from here, and I don't know, I just — I haven't exactly told them yet, you know, and like, I know they'll be fine with it, but I just wanna be, like — I want them to meet you. And I want you to meet them."

Louis takes her hand and laces their fingers together. "I'd love to meet them, Liam." Liam peers up at her, innocent and grateful, impossible. "But, you have to be sure they won't react, like, well, you know."

"No, no, they won't. I'm sure. You'll be fine," Liam assures her.

"It wasn't me I was worried about," Louis says, trying to hold Liam's eye. 

Liam squeezes her hand, a soft thank you puffing out between them. "I'll be fine. And even if they were all weird about it, which they won't be, I'd be fine, really. I've got you." She nudges Louis' shoulder with hers, and Louis returns the gesture, laying her head on Liam's shoulder. Sometimes it's really hard to believe how well this all worked out for her, and she still doesn't feel like it's real, and she thinks that's why she steals kisses from Liam so much, to make sure that when she pulls away Liam will still be there, kissing her back. 

"You want me to meet your parents and I haven't taken you out on a date yet," Louis laughs and Liam shrugs.

"So you'll make it up to me later." She pecks Louis' cheek, then the corner of her mouth, then full on the lips. "Are you sure your mom will be okay with this?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Louis says. "She'll be happy to hear that. And I'm going home for Christmas so it'll be fine." 

"I don't get you for your birthday?" Liam pouts, peeking up at Louis through her eyelashes. 

"Not unless you want all my six siblings, too," Louis says, laughing a little.

"I think it'd be worth it," Liam mumbles into Louis' neck, and Louis brings her head back up to kiss her again, lightly but solid, everything it needs to be. 

~

Harry drives them. It was easier since freshmen aren't allowed cars on campus and Harry does live twenty minutes from Liam. Louis can tell Harry's trying _not_ to talk about the fact Louis is in the car, going to Liam's house for break. She keeps glancing to them in the back seat, biting her lip and her cheeks reddening as she tries to keep it together. 

"Harry," Liam warns after the twentieth time they've caught her looking back. 

"Sorry! I'm just," her face breaks into a grin. "Sorry."

Liam rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to Louis.

"Um, Liam?" Harry asks.

"Yeah?" Liam almost sighs. 

Harry's eyes look worried as they flick between the road and the mirror. "Do you, um — are you, like — this is how you're gonna tell your parents?" 

Liam glances back to Louis. "Well, um, yeah? Like, it shouldn't be too bad, you know them, they'll be fine."

"No, I know," Harry says, taking an exit. "It's just, like, I don't know, when I pictured you telling them I didn't think it would be, like, I don't know. You don't seem the type to show up with a girlfriend on Thanksgiving just like that." 

Louis' heart almost skips when she hears the word _girlfriend_. She's still not used to it, no matter how many times she and Liam steal kisses and glances and hold hands and just about every single couple-y thing she can think of. No matter how much time she's spent with Liam, almost three weeks now she thinks, it won't ever actually sink in. She loves it.

"Believe me, I didn't think I would be either," Liam laughs breathlessly. She finds Louis' hand under the armrest. "But I don't want to wait any longer, I'm — I'm ready." 

Louis squeezes her hand and smiles at her, leaning over to peck her cheek. She's glad Liam's feeling this way — feeling brave. She admires it, actually, the way Liam is, who Liam is. And she's thrilled to be a part of Liam's life, because Liam wants her there. 

"And if all else fails, I'll just say I'm Harry's girlfriend," Louis jokes and they both laugh. 

"Yeah, that'll work," Liam says, glancing to Harry in the rear view mirror.

"Looks like my parents are getting a little surprise, too," she chuckles, turning off of the freeway. 

Liam starts jumping in her seat, squishing Louis' fingers in her tight grip as she peers out the window. "Only twenty minutes, now!" She's beaming at Louis like a kid on Christmas morning, and Louis thinks this could be the equivalent of Liam's Christmas — a time full of family and friends and familiarity, full of home. And Louis smiles back at her, understanding every bit of her excitement as she sends a quick text to her sisters and mom, just a little something to say. 

Louis looks out the window of Liam and Harry's hometown, and it's definitely fall. Brown leaves billowing in the stream of wind cars leave behind, some few trying to hang on to the trees for as long as possible, still clutching some color. She sees the cold biting through the people that move on the sidewalk, their jackets pulled and zipped tight, clutching onto each other's elbows to keep close and keep hands warm, scarves flying back and boots up to shins. It's almost winter, and Louis couldn't feel more at peace.

They turn into some development, weaving this way and that through cul-de-sacs before they pull into Liam's driveway. Now that Louis sees the simple house in front of her, her nerves begin to set in. Her leg starts shaking as she looks through the windshield to the front door of Liam's childhood home. Harry gets out of the car first, going to the trunk to get their bags. 

"Hey," Liam says, her excitement waning as she looks to Louis, her face still glowing just from being home. She takes Louis' hand. "It's gonna be alright. It'll all work out, I know it."

Louis swallows and tries to nod. "Yeah, okay."

"Nothing that could happen in there could change anything between us. Nothing." Liam doesn't take her eyes off Louis, her brown irises looking deeper and solid, meaning every single nuance of what she said. 

Louis believes her, she does. She exhales and smiles, leaning over to kiss Liam lightly. Liam takes her in and pushes herself up against her, putting more into the kiss than Louis planned, but she doesn't mind. Louis snakes her hand behind Liam's neck and holds her close, everything transferring between them where their skin and lips touch. 

Harry knocks on the back windshield. "Can't you keep your hands off each other for five minutes?"

"No," Liam says promptly while Louis chooses to flip Harry off. Liam giggles as Louis pulls her in for another kiss, quick and sweet and everything. 

They exit the car, Louis' feet crunching the gravel and leaves under her feet. Harry hands her her bags and closes the trunk after Liam grabs hers. Louis can tell Liam's getting jittery again, only seconds away from seeing her parents again. Louis can only smile at her, watching Liam bounce around like a little kid, a big grin on her face to match, is a little more calming than it should be. Harry and Liam lead the way, Louis close behind, and they're ringing the doorbell within five seconds.

Liam grins back at her for a second before the lock is clicking and the door is opening wide, to reveal a woman with an apron almost as bright as her smile. 

"Liam! Harry!" she squeals, pulling them into her arms. 

"Hi, Mom," Liam greets as Harry says, "Hi, Karen." They're faces are smushed into either of her shoulders, and she's swaying them side to side with such affection Louis feels her heart ache for home. 

"Oh, you two are never allowed to leave again," Karen tuts, squeezing them tight once more before she eventually lets them go.

"I missed you, too," Liam says, and her cheeks are so fucking red and bright it's really hard for Louis to not go up and kiss them right then and there. "Where's Dad?"

"Oh, he's at the store," her mom responds. "I need more apples for the pie."

"I hope you'll be saving me a slice," Harry chimes in.

"Of course," Liam's mom beams at her. "You know, you should come have Thanksgiving with us again, since Liam's sisters won't be joining us."

"Ruth and Nicola aren't coming?" Liam pouts and so does Harry, they were her best friends after all. 

"No, I thought I told you, honey. This year they're going to spend this year with their husband's families." She shakes her head and all but spits, clearly not happy with that at all.

"Oh, darn," Liam says. She turns to Harry. "You guys should come over, it'll be fun."

Harry shakes her head. "I can't, we're going to my grandma's this year, she claimed it last year and hasn't let us forget this year is her year." She rolls her eyes but there's love in her voice nonetheless. "Speaking of which, I should get home, we were already late, my mom's probably freaking out." She laughs a little. 

"Promise to come by sometime before the weekend is over," Liam's mom says and Harry nods.

"Of course," she hugs her quick. "Bye, Liam." She puts a hand on her shoulder and Liam grabs it and squeezes with a smile. "Bye, Louis." Harry smiles at Louis as she passes her down the stairs.

"Bye," Louis says. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving," Harry returns, waving again as she gets in her car.

"Liam, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Liam's mom pipes up after Harry's pulled away.

"Oh, um, yeah, uh," Liam stutters a bit, the redness on her cheeks now because of her blushing, and Louis steps up.

"Hi, I'm Louis," she greets, subtly grazing her hand along Liam's arm as she does so. She gives her wrist a quick squeeze before she extends her hand out to shake.

"Lovely to meet you, Louis. You can call me Karen," she says and Louis' nerves settle at her kind smile.

"Uh, mom," Liam starts. She looks like she could puke, and Louis' not too sure this was such a good idea after all. "I have something to tell you." Her eyes dart to Louis, panicked and quick, and Louis tries to smile reassuringly at her in the half a second they share eye contact. 

"Alright, dear, but let's get inside first." Karen ushers them inside, telling them to take their bags upstairs. Their guest room is being used for storage, so Louis will have to share with Liam, which is totally fine with her. Louis doesn't have the time to stare at Liam's room — the room she grew up in — before Liam's shutting the door and, well, freaking out.

"Oh, my God, I don't think I can do this." She wrings her hands together.

Louis goes up to her and takes them with her own, running her thumbs over the backs of Liam's hands. "Babe, calm down, okay? Relax, you _can_ do this. It's all gonna be alright."

"I know, I know," Liam sighs, not meeting Louis' eyes though. "But, I just — what if," she exhales, "Louis, I'm scared." She does look up at Louis then, her voice thin and hoarse, eyes glazed and they're not bright, not like Louis usually sees them, and her heart cracks, just a bit, but Louis can feel it echo in her chest, reverberating through her body. 

She throws her arms around Liam's neck and holds her tight. "I know, I know. I'm scared, too, like, really fucking terrified, actually," Louis says into Liam's shoulder and she feels her laugh a little. Louis pulls back from her, but keeps her hands on her shoulders. "But we're gonna get through this, right? It's all going to work out, because, like you said, it's not going to change anything between us. Okay?" She says and Liam nods. "Good, now stop freaking out you're supposed to be helping me keep my shit together, this isn't gonna work if we're both messes," Louis tells her and Liam's face splits into a smile. She leans forward and kisses Louis, soft, and runs her fingers from Louis' neck all the way down to her fingertips. She laces them with Louis', and holds entirely too tight, but Louis doesn't care, she needs it too.

"Let's go back down before your mom walks in and figures it all out for herself," Louis says, tugging Liam along. But Liam doesn't really move. "You know, we don't have to tell them today," Louis adds, turning back to Liam, keeping her voice low. "Like, we could wait until after Thanksgiving, if you want."

"Yeah," Liam nods. "Yeah, that'd be good." She looks up at Louis again and Louis can tell she feels a thousand times better, the stress off her shoulders just for a little while. 

"Okay," Louis smiles, pulling Liam to the door with her this time. Liam leans out and opens it for her, and they head down the stairs together, not letting go until Liam's mom comes into view. 

"Your dad's gonna be home in just a few minutes," Karen says and Liam's face brightens again as she nods. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

And oh, they forgot about that. "Oh, it's nothing," Liam tries, but her mom doesn't buy it, raising an eyebrow at her.

"She's gotten all A's so far this semester," Louis chimes in, hoping it will work. "She was too embarrassed to say, but I think it's great." She glances to Liam and smiles at her.

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful," Karen beams, kissing her proudly on the cheek. Liam shares a look with Louis over her head, _I can't believe that worked_ and _thank you so much_ rolled into one. Louis mouths a _nerd_ to Liam and rolls her eyes but smiles anyways.

Keys jangle outside of the front door and Liam jumps, "Dad!" and rushes off, opening the door before he's got his key in the lock. She throws herself at him, hugging him tight, her cheek smashed into his chest. 

He laughs heartily, wrapping his arms around her, a bag of apples in one hand. "Welcome home," he says, kissing her forehead. 

Liam squeezes her arms around him once more before breaking away. She's absolutely beaming and Louis misses her mom and sisters just a little more than she already did. 

"Dad, this is Louis," Liam introduces, gesturing back to her. 

"Hello," Louis says, knowing that's the least polite she could be, but he doesn't seem to mind, or notice.

"Nice to meet you," he nods at her. "I'm Geoff." He walks around Liam to shake Louis' hand. "Hope you like apple pie." He raises the bag in his hand.

"Who doesn't?" Louis says and he chuckles before walking off to his wife, greeting her with a kiss.

Liam comes up to her and her smile grows, and for all that happiness inside her, Louis just _has_ to do something, so she pecks her quick and squeezes her side, and her parents would never know if Liam didn't yelp. They throw a questioning look her way as she's frozen in place and Louis just laughs. 

"Not cool," Liam says when her parents go into the kitchen. 

Louis tickles her again in response, kissing her just a little longer because no one's there to stop them.

~

It all goes really well. Really, really well. Liam's mom is too busy cooking and Liam's dad is too busy watching football to pay much attention to them for the rest of the day and most of Thanksgiving. They steal kisses and cuddles and pokes the whole time, and Louis' not too sure they're worried about getting caught anymore. Liam was tense about it at first, but gave into it quickly, watching _A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving_ with Louis in the den made it all slide away. It was better at night, when they were tucked away under Liam's covers, free to do whatever, but Liam made a rule only _quiet_ things, to which Louis pouted at fervently, but Liam kissed it away all too quick, and all too well for Louis to complain anymore. 

It's a different story a couple of hours before Thanksgiving dinner, Liam offered to help in the kitchen so of course Louis is too, which is fine, but doesn't think she'll have enough control not to do something every time Karen's back is turned. But it goes by quick, all three of them occupied and talking and laughing, and soon they're setting the table. Louis breaks away for a few minutes to call home, her mom wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving and her sisters all yelling "miss you," into the phone, her dad shushing them because the babies are napping. Louis laughs and wishes them all the same, promising twenty hugs each at Christmas and her heart should ache some more, but if anything, she feels lighter, and it's hard to explain, but when she hangs up and sees Liam putting the silverware on the table, she knows the exact reason. Louis hurries in a kiss to Liam's cheek before her mom comes back in the room. 

"Liam, go get your father, please," Karen says, putting butter pads on the table. "And don't let him give you any crap about the rest of the game, we have a DVR." She shakes her head and Louis gets the feeling that this happens every year. Liam nods and skips off to the living room. "Louis, dear, you can go ahead and grab a seat."

"Okay," Louis says and picks the one closest to her. She's scooting up to the table when Liam and her dad come back in. Liam takes the seat next to Louis, running her hand over her thigh as she does so. Louis smirks at her and she just smiles back, sweet and teasing and absolutely impossible. 

They begin to pass the food around as Liam's dad carves the turkey. Louis swears it's on purpose, every time she hands a dish off to Liam, Liam grabs right where her hand is, making them touch just enough that Louis gets flustered and it looks casual to her parents. Louis doesn't know where this is coming from from Liam, but Louis won't let her get away with it, and plans to do some very _loud_ things in Liam's room tonight.

Dinner comes and goes, and it's all delicious, Louis makes sure to tell Karen just that, and soon they're all stuffed to the brim, remnants of apple and pumpkin pie on the plates in front of them. Liam and Louis lazily thread and unthread their fingers together under the table, playing soft and subtle as they all talk around the table. 

Harry stops by after that, Karen giving her her promised slice of apple pie. She keeps raising her eyebrows at Liam and Louis, and they shake their heads, _no we haven't told them yet_. Harry sighs and shakes her head, still joining them on the couch in the den for another movie. They all fall asleep there, the food in their stomachs making their eyelids heavy. Harry's curled up on one side of the couch, her legs splayed over Liam's, who's curled into Louis, and it should be uncomfortable, but Louis thinks it's the best sleep she's ever had.

When she wakes up, Liam's already staring at her. Liam smiles when she sees Louis' eyes open. 

"Hi," she says, running her fingers through her hair.

Louis does her best to sit up without waking Harry. "Hi," she says back. "How long have you been up?" She kisses Liam gently, fully aware of their morning breath, but Liam looked too sleepy and young and fair to not be kissed. 

"Just a few minutes," Liam shrugs, looking down at the blanket that covers their laps. She picks at the frays.

"What is it?" Louis asks immediately, putting her hand over Liam's.

Liam exhales and looks at her, playing with their entwined fingers. "I'm ready to tell them." Her stare is strong and Louis can only smile.

"Really? You sure?" Louis asks.

Liam nods. "It's now or never."

"Okay," Louis tries not to beam, really, she does, but she can't help herself. "That's so fucking great." She launches herself at Liam and they fall back on Harry's legs. Liam laughs lightly and Louis presses her mouth against hers hard, hard and happy and everything. And they barely notice Harry is squirming underneath them.

"Aw, really?" Harry groans when she sees them. "Go have sex somewhere else and _get off me_ ," she gripes, swatting at their heads.

Louis laughs and pushes herself off of Liam, pulling her up afterwards. Louis kisses her again just because she can, and Harry throws a pillow at them. 

"You two are so gross," Harry complains, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Harry," Liam starts, turning back to her. "We're gonna tell them, like, today."

Harry's eyes get big. "Really?" she asks and when Liam nods a smile takes over her face. "That's fantastic, Li." She reaches over with her long arms and hugs Liam. She looks to Louis. "I'm happy for you guys."

Louis smiles in response as Harry untangles herself from Liam. They all get up and fold the blankets back up, and Liam decides breakfast will be the time they tell them. Louis is incredibly nervous but outstandingly happy and she doesn't know which one is making her heart beat this fast. But Liam holds her hand tight as they walk upstairs to freshen up, and she knows she's definitely too happy for her heart not to give out. 

"Good morning, girls," Karen almost sings to them when they walk into the kitchen. She and Geoff are setting up plates on the table. "Sleep well? I was going to wake you but you all looked pretty cozy."

Liam's cheeks blush at this, and Louis fears that she and Liam were maybe a little too close last night, but then she remembers what's about to happen. She looks to Liam and Liam looks a lot calmer now and Louis settles from this. Harry smiles reassuringly at both of them, nodding.

"Um, Mom?" Liam starts, picking with her nails. "Can you and Dad sit down? I have something to tell you." She tucks her hair behind her ear. 

"Oh," Karen pauses. "Yes, honey. Is everything all right?" She looks between the three girls and sits in the chair, grabbing onto her husband's arm as he sits in the one next to her. 

"Yeah, everything's fine," Liam says. "I just —" she turns to Louis, who steps closer to her. Harry keeps her distance, not wanting to intrude but wanting to stay supportive. Liam exhales deeply and Louis grabs her hand, squeezing it tight. "Mom, Dad, I'm — this is — we're — uh," she clears her throat and Louis squeezes her hand again. She desperately wants to cut in and help Liam, but she knows Liam needs to do this for herself.

"'S okay," Louis says low to her, like it'll help. 

Liam nods. "Louis and I are — Louis' my girlfriend," she gets out, and after it's out, she doesn't take her eyes off of her parents. "We're dating. As of, like, three weeks ago." 

Her parents are a little frozen, but it seems Karen breathes out a sigh of relief. Her grip on Geoff's arm slackens.

"Oh, good," Karen says. "I thought it was something awful." She brings a hand to her chest. 

Louis can't help but to laugh at her reaction, also partly out of relief. Harry laughs a little from her spot against the doorway. Louis almost forgot she was there. 

"Honey, you know you didn't really need to tell us," Geoff speaks. "The walls are pretty thin, you know." He tries not to smirk but he can't hide the smug look on his face.

Louis chokes on nothing and Liam's face absolutely pales. "Oh, God." She holds a hand to her mouth as her parents snicker. "Oh, my God. What did you hear? When? Oh, God."

"When you thought we were sleeping," Karen says offhandedly. 

Louis' first thought is _ew, oh my God they heard us_ but then it shifts to _wow, they're really amazing parents_ because at night they talked even more about this and their relationship and her parents said nothing, didn't act out of the ordinary, just accepted it. Louis' mouth forms a smile at this.

"Liam, you can calm down, honey," Karen almost laughs. "We knew you'd tell us when you were ready. And we want you to know we support you in whatever you do." Geoff nods alongside his wife's words. 

"That's..." Liam starts, trailing as she looks between her parents, then back to Louis, then over to Harry. Her face splits into a grin and she rushes over to hug them. "Thank you, so much." 

"You don't need to thank us for anything, Liam. We're your parents, we'll always love you. No matter what," Geoff says. 

"No, I know," Liam says, wiping her eyes. _Of course she cried_ Louis thinks to herself, but can't help but to smile at her anyways. "It's just, well, this is kind of sudden. Well, not really sudden, but you had no idea, I mean, I barely did, but I didn't want to just spring this on you. But I —"

"Liam," Louis interjects, laughing at her babbling and completely endearing girl. "Stop talking." 

Liam blushes. "Right. Yeah, sorry." It could be impulse, with the way it just happens out of nowhere, one moment Liam's standing next to her parents and the next she's thrown herself in Louis' arms. Louis can feel her smile radiating onto her skin, a warm glow that makes the upcoming winter bearable. Louis cradles her head with her hand and kisses her temple lightly, elated and relieved. Liam pulls away from Louis, not hesitating to kiss her, because they're sharing the same smile, the same feeling, the same heart, and kissing Louis is everything to her. They keep it short, still aware they're in front of her parents. 

"So, breakfast, yes?" Karen says. "Harry? Are you staying?"

At the mention of Harry Liam seems to remember she's there and runs over and hugs her, too, pressing her cheek into Harry's shoulder. 

"Ah, no," Harry answers, arm around Liam. "Gotta get back, I'm supposed to meet my sister at the mall for shopping." She frowns at the time displayed on her phone. "I'm already late, thank you, though."

"Of course," Karen answers. "Girls? Ready?"

Louis looks to Liam peeling herself off of Harry who waves goodbye as she exits. Liam's eyes meet Louis' and Louis feels a new kind of spark in her chest as she looks at her. Liam looks impossibly happy and... peaceful, a jovial peaceful and Louis can never understand how one person could simply pull off so many emotions and looks so goddamn beautiful, all the time. Liam's smile grows before she turns to her mom, nodding. 

"Yup. Ready."

~

"I think I'm in love."

Louis looks up from the clothes splayed on her bed. Niall's leaning against her desk, a dreamy look on her face.

"I know I'm alluring, but damn, don't leave Zayn standing in the dust," Louis replies, dumping her cosmetics. 

"I'm serious, Lou," Niall continues, approaching her. "Hello, by the way."

"Yeah, hi," Louis responds, sitting on her bed, deciding it's too much effort to unpack immediately following arrival. "How was your break?"

"Excellent, of course." Niall sits next to her. "Liam told me everything. That's really fucking great, I'm glad it worked out."

"Yeah," Louis smiles. "It is. 'S a bit weird, too."

Niall's brows furrow. "How do you mean?" 

Louis sighs. "It's like... her parents know. I met them. It's, like, official, or something. I'm actually with her, this is actually happening." After breakfast that day, it was easier to hang around her parents. There wasn't much to do, and they all decided it was too cold and too much to go outside. Karen made hot chocolate and they watched movies together, Liam and Louis curled up on the couch with Karen on the other side, Geoff in his chair. That's basically how the next day went, and Harry joined them this morning for breakfast before they all drove back down. Louis' been in her room for maybe ten minutes, so it's only natural Niall decided to pop in now.

"Yeah, I guess after pining after her for so long it's odd to finally get in her pants," Niall snickers and Louis slaps her.

"Shut up. You'll never know the feeling because you'll never make an actual move on Zayn." 

"Actually..."

Louis sits up straight. "What? What happened? Oh, my God, Niall!" 

Niall's grin is brilliant. "Well, we were like the only two here yesterday, so we hung out, and..." Louis doesn't think she's ever actually seen Niall blush before.

"And what?" Louis begs. "Did you kiss? What? Did you fuck?" Niall's grin gets deeper and so does her blush. "Oh, my God, you did!" Louis hits her arm. "Tell me all about it; I want to know every single detail. How did this even happen?"

Niall clears her throat, picking at Louis' bedspread. She looks young and very cute — very _Niall_ , and Louis already knows Zayn is a sucker for that. "Well, it was just us, and we got to talking, and then we were watching _A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving_ —" Louis smiles briefly, remembering her and Liam doing the same — "and she kept teasing me and complaining about how stupid it is that we were watching a cartoon so I started to throw popcorn at her and I — I don't know, we just kissed. And it was really fucking great, Louis. And then, we you know, got on the bed, and it just went from there, really." Niall's positively glowing when she looks up at Louis. 

"That's great, Niall! I'm so happy for you!" Louis wraps her arms around her in a sideways hug. "Just a month ago we were lonely and sad and desperate, and now look at us. Come out on top. We've won."

"I was never one to root for the underdog."

They look up and see Zayn leaning in the doorway, smiling teasingly, her tongue between her teeth. She walks over to them and kisses Niall lightly and Louis swears she feels Niall's heart stop next to her.

Louis almost groans. "So are you two going to be annoyingly all over each other like me and Liam now, or?"

Niall nods and Zayn says, "More so," leaning down to kiss Niall again. They start to fall back on the bed — _Louis'_ bed — and she fully groans this time, pretending to puke as she gets up. Zayn flips her off from over Niall as they settle into the mattress and Louis makes a reminder to buy antiseptic.

She leaves them be, going over to Liam's room. She knocks on the doorframe before proceeding to walk in anyways. Liam looks up from her laptop and smiles at her. "Hey."

"Hi." Louis basically sits in her lap, and Liam automatically slides her arm around her back to support her and fit her in. "You'll never guess the disease that's brewing in my room."

"What?" Liam laughs.

"Apparently yesterday was really important, Niall finally landed Zayn," Louis says, playing with the strands of hair that rests on Liam's shoulders. 

"What! Oh, my God, really?" Liam jumps, knocking Louis around.

Louis laughs. "Yeah. They were the only ones here and were watching the Charlie Brown movie just like we did, except the only difference being they had sex afterwards, unlike some of us here." She pokes at Liam's collarbone accusingly. "I'm still waiting for you to come through on that promise." 

Liam starts to giggle. "Lou, I told you we weren't gonna do any of that around my parents." 

"But we're alone now," Louis says, biting lightly at Liam's shoulder. They soon turn into kisses and Liam's head falls back as Louis begins to mark her skin. 

"That's good for them, though," Liam manages to say, closing the subject completely as she runs her hands along Louis' back.

"Yeah," Louis breathes out against her skin. She reaches out to close Liam's laptop as she pushes them back on the bed. She settles herself over Liam, straddling her, and leans back down to kiss her. Roughly, deeply, sloppily. Liam falls into it, breathing with the rhythm of Louis' bites and grazes, pulling lips between teeth and sucking on tongues. 

"Hey, Liam — oh, sorry." 

Harry's standing awkwardly at the doorway, looking flustered but not moving. 

Liam detaches herself from Louis who sighs promptly and rests against the wall. She turns to Louis with a _you always forget to shut the door_ look and Louis just shrugs, running her tongue over her bottom lip.

"What is it, Harry?" Liam asks, trying to smooth her hair down. 

Harry flits her eyes around uncomfortably. "Oh, um, I was just — did I ever give you my mom's birthday present?"

"Birthday present?" Liam repeats.

"I thought your birthday was in August," Louis frowns. She's still a little upset she didn't have a chance to get Liam anything, she didn't know her very well then and it was the second week of school. 

"It is," Liam says. She turns back to Harry. "Wh—"

"She didn't have a chance to give it to you before we left, so she asked me to give it to you now. Don't know why she didn't just mail it, though..." Harry trails off, pulling her lip between her fingers.

"Um, okay, then?" Liam says, getting up off her bed. "Be right back." She says to Louis, who sighs outwardly and obnoxiously, clearly not happy with being interrupted. 

Liam leaves and soon after that, Niall throws herself back in the room. Zayn had to go meet some friends of hers so they finally unlatched themselves from each other. 

"Just tell me if I need to douse my bed with Lysol," Louis says.

"Nah," Niall shakes her head, a little disappointed. "She had to leave before it got there."

"Good," Louis says, pointing at her. " _Never_ let it get there on my side of the room. Ever."

"Same goes for you two," Niall says, poking Louis in the shoulder.

~

"Hey, are you busy?" Louis' knocking on Liam's doorframe.

Liam looks up at her. "Um, actually—"

"Great," Louis interrupts, flouncing into the room. She leans down and kisses Liam. "Hi."

"Hi," Liam repeats. She opens her mouth to say something else but Louis continues.

"So, it has occurred to me," she falls onto Liam's bed, resting one leg on top of Liam's thigh so it hangs in between both of Liam's, "that I have yet to take you on an actual date." 

"That's not true," Liam says, turning to face Louis.

"Group dates and study dates and fooling around on the bed _don't_ count as dates, Liam. Or so I've been told," Louis says, playing with Liam's bedspread. 

"But you always make fooling around so romantic," Liam teases. "Especially with the way you launch at me and treat my boob like a stress ball, that's my favorite."

"I know," Louis says, reaching out to pinch Liam's nipple just for that, which would've been a lot more satisfying if it wasn't for Liam's goddamn bra in the way. Liam gasps regardless and slaps at her hand. So maybe Louis' not the most graceful person in bed, but how can she be anything but, well, an animal, when it comes to Liam? With her shy but earnest expression, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, hair cascading behind her but not long enough yet to touch the bed, resting on her elbows looking up at Louis like she's everything when Louis thinks _Liam_ is everything, her bra practically begging to be thrown to the other side of the room; lips, cheeks, nose, neck, ears, shoulders, chest, stomach, hips, thighs, demanding to be kissed by Louis, however sloppy and wet and just Louis, really, in all her endeavors. Liam makes up for all of Louis with her own grace and gentle touches and pecks, breathless gasps and perfect whines. Louis enjoys it far too much.

"So, anyway," Louis starts, kissing Liam's shoulder lightly. "Date, you and me, right now."

"Louis," Liam starts, a small laugh echoing through her words though. "We've already eaten dinner, don't you think there's a better time to do this?"

"There's no time like the present," Louis grins at her, to which she shakes her head. "And, I can't wait any longer. C'mon." Louis starts to tug at her hand but Liam stays put. 

"Louis..."

"Please don't be difficult," Louis says to her, right in her warm brown irises. Louis rubs her thumb over Liam's hand. She thinks it's a bit unfair, actually, that Liam hasn't been treated yet, by Louis. And she really wants to, because Liam deserves quite a whole lot more than what she's got, and Louis just really, really, wants to sit across from her at some public table, just them two though, laughing and talking and feeling, playing footsies under the table. "I've waited far too long to take you out. So, please, just let me give you something? I wanna treat you to a dinner. Er, dessert. Something. Please?"

Liam searches Louis' face for a moment, sucking her into that inevitable warm sugar feeling that pours from Liam, straight into Louis, right back out of her heart. "Oh, alright," Liam says. 

"You know," Louis says as Liam's putting her shoes on, "you're probably the only person I've met who doesn't enjoy getting spoiled. It's free food, Liam. Live a little."

"Shut up," Liam says, adjusting the scarf around her neck. She kisses Louis though, plain and sweet. Louis pulls her by her scarf out the door, Liam shutting it closed behind her.

As they walk, they hold hands of course, not really saying much, seeming like it's aimless, but Louis' leading them. 

"Seriously though, did you have work to do?" Louis asks, because she didn't ever let Liam say anything she didn't want to hear. And she knows how stressed Liam gets; she doesn't wanted it added on because of their lame date.

Liam shrugs. "It's fine. Just a chapter I had to read, but I'll do it later." Louis stares at her. "Really, I'm fine. It's not even due tomorrow."

"Then why were you doing it?" Louis asks, almost laughing. " _Nerd_."

Liam just smiles; it's not an insult, never was. If anything it gets fonder each time, and she finds it totally endearing if she's being honest. "Actually, this nerd was trying to do all her work tonight so she could hang out with some annoying girl tomorrow night." She side eyes Louis as they turn a corner.

That's really sweet, Louis thinks, and she finds it really hard to resist pushing herself up against Liam for a kiss, so she doesn't. It should be awkward, probably looks that way since they were walking and now they're not and Louis' pretty sure Liam almost fell over, but she doesn't care. She kisses her hard but fleeting, because Liam is so Liam Louis doesn't know what to do with herself. "Well, then I take that back." 

"Keep it," Liam says, kissing Louis' temple as they walk again. "I don't mind."

And Louis knows she doesn't. She swings their hands quite obnoxiously but it's okay because who cares and they're in the moonlight and it's shining in Liam's hair and off her eyes and Louis feels like she's glowing with this ambience that shouldn't be there but it is. _This is pretty fucking romantic_ , Louis thinks to herself proudly. 

"Wait, where are we going?" Liam asks. 

"Here," Louis says, spreading her other arm out wide. "I promised dessert, didn't I?"

"Uh," Liam starts.

"This totally counts as dessert, don't worry. Come on," Louis smiles, pulling Liam along into the frozen yogurt shop. And Louis looks too excited and happy and young for Liam to say anything further. 

Louis does get her wish of footsies, but it takes a while to get there. She and Liam probably spent ten minutes arguing over the cup Liam picked, it was practically a thimble. Louis assured her over and over she could get whatever size she wanted, it was Louis' treat, but Liam wouldn't budge. She said she just wasn't that hungry, having eaten a questionable Philly cheese steak only an hour before, but the shop smelled too sweet for Louis to argue anymore. She sighed and shook her head and proceeded to dump strawberry yogurt into her cup, not understanding Liam. After staring at Liam like she grew a second head because all she got was a few gummy bears sprinkled on top — "I don't even know you," Louis shakes her head and pulls out her wallet — they finally sit at a little, round, metallic table. And the amount of footsies they play should be sickening, it probably is to all the other patrons in the shop, but Louis just doesn't think it's enough. She's got half a mind to do that move where she stands abruptly and slides everything off the table with a swipe of the arm, grabbing Liam and laying her back across the table, kissing her senseless. But she knows no one will appreciate seeing that, and Louis' yogurt is _really_ good, so she'd rather not waste it on a moment like that when there's plenty more to be had on a mattress. Louis does her best to chatter as much as she spoons yogurt into her mouth, Liam giggling and nodding and Louis thinks this is her favorite part of talking to her. The feedback, the undivided, devoted attention. It's different than everyone looking to her as she speaks, with Liam, she _feels_ it, feels the interest and the care in her stare, how she'll actually listen and nod along and carry on the conversation just because she's polite and cares for Louis. And Louis could kiss her endlessly for all that she is, she really, really could.

"Liam, you've barely eaten anything," Louis says, almost frowning, because it _was_ $4.39 for that tiny cup. 

"I know," Liam sighs, still picking at the last gummy worm with her spoon. "I'm just kinda full."

Louis does frown at that, because her romantic gesture was resting on _eating_ dessert and now it's flopped because she couldn't even _listen_ to Liam. "Well, at least have a bite of mine, it's sooo good." She curls some onto her spoon and twirls it around so it all lands on top. She extends it out to Liam, because she will get at least one sappy thing out of this lame date and if that means shoving a spoonful of yogurt down Liam's throat, then so be it. 

Liam's eyes dart around and her cheeks get a tad flushed, and Louis' heart could soar. She lowers the spoon but still keeps it out. 

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Liam," Louis says. "Just take a bite, please."

Liam blinks at her, flicking her eyes from the spoon back to Louis. Louis can actually see her resolve cracking and she knows she's winning. 

"I could always make it embarrassing," Louis adds. Her voice goes high when she says, "Open wide for the air-o-plane! Vroooom," she spins the spoon around in front of Liam's face, making engine noises just on the border of loud. 

Liam shushes her, pushing her wrist down. "Fine, I'll eat your stupid yogurt."

"It's not stupid, it's delicious," Louis humphs, bringing it back to her mouth. "And you're getting my last bite, so feel special."

"I'm so very honored," Liam deadpans, pressing a hand to her chest in mockery.

"You should be," Louis mumbles, pushing the spoon up to Liam's lips. Liam hesitates a bit before giving in, opening her mouth. Her lips close around where the handle meets the yogurt and Louis' breathing kind of falters for a bit thinking about how much she would very much love Liam's lips wrapped around her own finger, licking the yogurt clean off her skin — or her own slick. Louis shakes her head, she shouldn't be thinking about these things when she's surrounded by children. Liam seems to read right into Louis, and her eyes glint and she wiggles her eyebrows. She pinches the handle with her fingers and takes it away from Louis, pulling it from between her lips, slowly, and almost _too_ seductively. 

"You're absolutely evil," Louis says, her eyes in slits.

Liam laughs and stands, holding her hand out for Louis. Louis takes it, muttering, _the absolute worst_ and picks up their empty cups. They exit the shop, walking curled into each other because it's fucking cold outside.

"Why is that place open? It's winter," Liam shivers, ducking her head into Louis'. 

"Dunno, actually," Louis says; she can't remember if they close for cold weather, but then again, they don't stop selling ice cream in grocery stores just because it's snowing. 

They get to Louis' room and Liam's absolutely freezing, shivering to no end. Zayn was on her way out when they walked in, and she smiles to each of them before saying, "Have fun here tonight, Liam," and then they notice the extra clothes in her hand, and that dumb sparkle in her eye and Louis thinks _oh_ as Zayn shuts the door. 

"J-just because they f-fuck all the t-t-time doesn't mean they have to use m- _my_ room," Liam whines, her teeth chattering as she curls in on herself on Louis' bed. She brings a pillow to her chest. "Especially over- overnight." Liam sighs, disgruntled. 

"Well," Louis says, shuffling over to Liam. She takes her palms in hers and starts rubbing them together, to warm them up, although the way Liam's teeth click and her body jerks with each chill is totally endearing, she doesn't want her to suffer. "At least we get all night to ourselves. To cuddle and whatever else we could possibly think to do," Louis suggests, flicking her tongue out over her bottom lip.

Liam rolls her eyes but leans in anyways, slightly, but she still does it. Louis slides the pillow away from them, along with Liam's scarf. "What to do, what to do," she mumbles, teasingly. And Liam's small smile shouldn't brighten Louis up so much, but it does, and when Liam takes Louis' face in her hands, Louis gleams. Liam rests their foreheads together just for a spell, licking her lips. Louis kisses her nose and then Liam tilts her head up farther for their lips to touch. Louis electrifies. 

They fall back against the bed, and Louis' very aware of the open curtains on the window right next to them, but she doesn't care. The girls in Robinson get a nice show then. She tangles her fingers in Liam's hair, scratching at the scalp as she slips her tongue in. Liam's hand slip under Louis' sweater, fingers dancing and curling in on the small of her back, pushing her down further. Their thighs are locked perfectly, each pressing up against each other, pressure building. Louis' just about to slide her hand under Liam's waistline when —

Oh.

It's the sound when bare skin rubs along a leather couch, when a shoe doesn't go across the floor right. Liam pushes Louis off of her, bolting up right. Her cheeks so red Louis can't find it in herself to laugh. She thinks, _did Liam really just fart while we were making out?_ and before she can answer herself, it happens again. And Louis doesn't know much about biology but she's almost certain it's impossible for someone's skin to get _that red_ but here she is, staring at her tomato faced girlfriend. 

"Uh," Louis starts.

Liam looks absolutely horrified, but then it happens again, and Louis really, _really_ tries not to look absolutely disgusted because _oh, God the smell_ but she can't stop her nose from scrunching up and her hand from covering it. She immediately regrets it when she sees Liam's eyes fall, like they're made of glass, shattering right in front of Louis. Louis wants to say something, anything, but Liam's stomach is gurgling and then her face goes pale for a moment there, and Louis thinks _oh, no_ before she's on her feet, grabbing Liam by the arm and rushing them to the bathroom. 

They barely make it, and no one's in there thank God, and Liam's clutching the toilet within a second of opening the stall door. Louis tries not to focus on the sound, just grabs Liam's hair for her as her body convulses over the bowl. It feels like forever until she stops, and Louis just wants to cradle her for all eternity and whisper kisses and sweet nothing's into her ear. She rubs her hand on Liam's back and Liam rests her head on her arm on the seat. Louis lets Liam rest there for as long as she needs, remembering the questionable Philly cheese steak she mentioned earlier; she also remembers to never eat that from the caf again. 

And after a while, Louis thinks maybe they should get up now, but she'll do whatever to keep Liam comfortable. And then, well, Liam starts farting again, and it's, quite, a lot, and, kind of gross, but Louis doesn't flinch, just keeps rubbing circles over Liam's back, and maybe Liam's too exhausted to be embarrassed anymore. Or maybe she finally realizes she doesn't have to be embarrassed about anything with Louis. Louis hopes it's that, she really wants Liam to just be... to just be. Be herself in all aspects because she knows Liam didn't get all that she deserved in the friends department before. 

"Um. Liam?" Louis starts and Liam only mumbles in response. "Not to be, like, rude, or inconsiderate or anything, but like, I'm guessing it was that cheese steak you said you had earlier?" Liam nods a little and Louis slows her hand on her back. "But, why — um, food poisoning doesn't really lead to farting? Unless I really did learn nothing in Biology and I'm making a complete ass off myself." 

Liam groans. "Ugh, it was the yogurt."

Louis almost laughs because Liam barely ate any of it. "What? Was it bad?" Louis asks, holding her own stomach.

"No, no," Liam says, grunting as she pushes herself up. "I'm just — I'm lactose intolerant."

"Liam!" Louis almost jumps. "What the hell? Why did you eat it then? _You nerd_." She can't stop herself from laughing at her, her stupid but sweet — so sweet — girl.

"I wanted to make you happy," Liam mumbles.

Louis is far, far too fond at this moment, and she just stares down at Liam in awe. "I can't believe you." Louis rolls her eyes, smoothing her hand over Liam's hair just as she retches and goes back over the toilet. Louis grabs her hair again and keeps it out of her face, doing all she can to help. Her heart kind of swells — explodes at the fact. Liam fucking ate yogurt just to make Louis blabber about like an idiot with a matching grin on her face. And Louis, for the life of her, can't imagine why anyone would do that, especially for her, but then it hits her that it's _such_ a Liam thing to do, and Louis thinks she really loves this girl. 

"You could've told me," Louis says after a while. Liam switched from the toilet to Louis' knee, resting her flushed cheeks against Louis' legs. Louis is running her fingers through her hair, gliding them slowly across her scalp before combing through. 

Liam shrugs and shakes her head. "You were really excited about this." 

"Yeah," Louis scoffs, "but not enough to make you _sick_ , Liam. Physically ill. I'm not that much of a bitch." Liam snorts but doesn't say anything. "Wait," Louis starts, "the first football game. After it, we got ice cream together," Louis remembers, very, very vividly Liam's tongue traveling along the banana and ice cream covered in caramel as she ate (she also may or may not remember moaning Liam's name into the mattress in the dark solitude of her room later that night).

Liam blushes. "Well, I _did_ run off to my room right afterwards, if you remember." Her eyes dart around nervously.

And Louis does remember, but she was too bothered to think too much on it, actually glad to get away — the only time that has and ever will happen when it comes to Liam. "So, you — you ran off to your room to fart in peace?" Louis clarifies, snickering a bit.

Liam nods a little — no, a _lot_ — shamefully, turning her face to the ground. Louis' snicker turns into a fond sigh.

"Come on," Louis pats her shoulder. "Let's get you to bed."

Liam nods and Louis helps her stand. "But Niall and Zayn are..." Her face twists up.

"Then you'll sleep in my bed, like you were going to anyway," Louis says pointedly, wiping some hair out of Liam's face. She puts an arm around Liam's waist as they walk.

"Should we tell Harry?" Liam asks. "Shit, I need to brush my teeth."

 _Well, duh_ , Louis thinks, but says, "Nonsense, just worry about getting some rest." Liam nods. "And why would we need to tell Harry?"

"I don't know," Liam shrugs as they get back to the room, the door still open from when Louis flung it. "She's our RA?"

"But it's not like she has to fill out an incident report like a school nurse or anything," Louis says. She leads Liam to the bed and promptly tosses whatever was on it to the floor. Liam climbs in and Louis pulls the covers over her. "I'll ask her if she has any, like, what is it? Alka-seltzer?" Liam nods, a little weakly, and Louis presses her lips to her forehead. 

Liam grabs her arm. "Where are you gonna sleep?" 

"Um, right next to you?" Louis says.

"Noooo, what if I get sick again?" Liam drawls. 

"Then I'll be right there to help you to the bathroom, or trash, or Zayn's bed." Louis snickers and Liam manages a smile. Louis leans in and tucks her head into Liam's neck. She kisses her flushed skin, lightly and fleetingly, soft, like Liam. "Gotta take care of you," Louis mumbles, kissing her cheek before walking off. 

Harry's door is cracked when she gets there. Louis knocks on the doorframe and Harry mutters for her to come in. 

Louis steps in and sees Harry hunched over her desk, scribbling furiously away at something. Her head stays down but her eyes look up to see Louis. 

"Oh, hey Lou," she says. She scribbles a few more words before putting down her pen. "What's up?" 

"Um, well, it's Liam," Louis says and Harry's face kind of falls into a panic. "She's fine, she's fine. It's just — she got a little sick." Harry's eyes jump a bit. 

"Is she okay? What happened?" Harry asks, standing up. She pulls her bottom lip between her fingers — a habit, Louis is noticing. 

"Apparently she's lactose intolerant," Louis mutters, thinking _stupid_ to herself because she just really doesn't understand Liam sometimes. "And mix that with a suggestive cheese steak," Louis scrunches her nose up. "It's not good."

"I told her not to eat those," Harry shakes her head. "They never sit well."

"Yeah, well," Louis says. "She hasn't been making the smartest decisions today." Harry furrows her eyebrows at that so Louis adds, "The lactose intolerant thing. I took her to the yogurt shop and she fucking ate some anyways, and didn't think to try and stop me from shoving the spoon in her face." Louis rubs her hand through her hair. "Anyway, now she's all twisted up and a little pitiful and — well, do you have any like, stuff to help her stomach?"

"Um..." Harry starts, going over to sift through her dresser. "No, sorry." Harry frowns, turning back to Louis. "Liam's such an idiot sometimes." She shakes her head, obviously having dealt with more of Liam's silly choices than Louis is in the run for.

"Yeah, she's lucky she's cute," Louis agrees, smiling. She still feels absolutely lucky herself. Harry nods absently. "Okay, well, thanks anyways."

Harry nods. "Yeah, sure. Of course. I'll come by to check on her later? If you want." 

"Um, yeah sure. I'm sure she's already passed out though, it's kinda late," Louis says, leaning against the door frame. Harry nods again, and Louis says a goodbye again as she leaves. 

And she was right. 

Liam is sound asleep, her mouth wide open and her hand on her stomach. Her hair is falling on her face, and her cheeks look just a little bit chubbier and Louis just has to do something — pinching would wake her, so Louis pokes at it instead, kissing her nose as she does so. Her breathing is slow and tiny snores are coming out, and Louis runs her knuckle along Liam's neck, watching her. Peaceful, soft, impossible. 

Louis thinks it's the most careful she's ever been in her life — climbing over Liam to get into bed, so that if Liam does have another issue, she can hop right out, and really, so Louis can be the big spoon, cuddling her close and holding her tight, for all that she's worth. She tries her best not to step on Liam, trying to keep quiet on the rickety mattress. Maybe Liam's too exhausted to be bothered, because Louis kind of just falls at the last minute, flopping onto the mattress and Liam is jostled a little by the aftermath, and she doesn't flinch. Louis gets herself under the covers and turns out the light, kissing Liam's shoulder before throwing her arm across Liam's stomach. She holds the hand of Liam's that's resting there already, and she's all ready to fall asleep when her fingers are laced between Liam's and squeezed tight. Liam sniffles and Louis smiles, kissing her shoulder just one more time before closing her eyes, and falling asleep, falling so hard for this girl that takes over each and every one of her dreams.

~ 

"Lou, I told you, you don't have to stay here with me," Liam whines again, fretting for no reason.

Louis sighs. "For the last time, Liam, I am not going anywhere." 

Liam humphs and settles back down into the bed, crossing her arms. Louis goes and sits on the bed, thumbing over Liam's bottom lip, wiping her pout away. The morning had come and gone, Liam still sound asleep. By the time she had woken up, it was well into her second class, and Louis was sitting watching a movie with Liam's head in her lap. She hadn't gotten sick again, but she was still weak and a little pale, and Louis promptly decided she shouldn't be in class, and Louis wasn't going to leave her here alone. Liam flipped — of course — Louis actually having to hold her down to the bed so she wouldn't try and leave again. The effort made Liam queasy, so she eventually gave up. She's been trying to get Louis to leave her be — " _I'm fine_ ," she insists, "Bullshit," Louis says — for the past hour, Louis wishing she could kiss her to shut her up, but she has still yet to brush her teeth.

"I told you, I'm going to take care of you," Louis says, caressing her finger along Liam's jaw. "It's the least I could do after force feeding you yogurt," she mumbles.

"You didn't force feed me," Liam says, almost laughing. "If anything it's my fault. No, it _is_ my fault, don't beat yourself up about it, you didn't know." She takes Louis' wrist in her hand, running her index finger across it. Louis leans down and kisses her forehead. 

"Do you want anything? Some juice? Medicine? Crackers?" Louis asks her. 

Liam shakes her head, a small smile on her face and she mumbles nonsense, and grabs at Louis. Louis giggles but gets the point, and lays down with Liam, cuddling her into her own frame. She picks a new movie for them to watch, and they lay there, Liam's head nuzzled into Louis' shoulder, Louis' hand absentmindedly stroking Liam's head.

~ 

"Even _I_ knew Liam was lactose intolerant, come on, Louis," Niall tuts, dipping her fry in ketchup across Louis' books. 

"Niall," Liam whines. "You only knew because you actually asked me."

"You just asked her that? What is wrong with you?" Louis says, throwing a fry at her, but she's not surprised, Niall has no boundaries.

"We were trying to get to know each other!" Niall defends. She takes a sip of her soda.

"It was like, the first week, we just played truth or dare, without the dare," Liam says, leaning in to Louis' side. She reaches for a fry too.

"I just can't believe you never brought it up," Louis shakes her head. She rests her head on Liam's though, returning to taking notes from her book.

"It never really occurred to me," Liam shrugs, taking another fry. "Besides, it's all water under the bridge now. Can we talk about something else?"

Louis kisses her hairline the same time Niall burps. To which Liam exclaims, "Niall!" and Louis promptly tells her, "That was weak, I wouldn't give you more than a four."

Niall laughs. "Wait, wait, I can do better." She reaches for her soda and begins to gulp it down.

"Oh, God, please no," Liam whines into Louis' shoulder, covering her ears. 

"Oh, come on, Liam," Louis laughs, rubbing her back. She tickles Liam's side. "Tell me you've never had a belch contest."

"No, actually, because I'm not a child," she says and Niall offers up another burp in response. "Ew," Liam scoffs, scooting off of Louis.

"That was maybe a six, I think you can do better," Louis says, grabbing a fry of her own. 

"No, stop," Liam grabs Louis' arm. "People are staring." She glances around to the commons around them. Some people are glancing their way, looking up from their books and snacks with either bemusement or distaste, but most are occupied in their own things. 

Louis shrugs. "Let 'em." She squeezes Liam's thigh, noting her discomfort nonetheless. "Niall, this better be perfect 'cause it's the last one." 

Niall sticks her tongue out at her indignantly before taking another huge swallow. She sits up straight, preparing herself. Liam taps on Louis' shoulder, pointing behind her. Louis looks up and sees Zayn with a devilish smile on her face; she winks at them and presses a finger to her lips before stepping closer to Niall. Liam tries to hide her snickers in Louis' hair, and Louis' bites on her lip to hold hers in. Just as Niall's opened her mouth, Zayn jabs either side of her with her fingers, and Niall lets out a glorious combination of shriek and burp and laugh. 

Her hands fly up to her face. "My nose! It burns!" 

Zayn falls into the seat next to her, laughing almost maniacally, her head falling onto Niall's shoulder. Louis has lost it as well, her head thrown back as Liam's body racks with laughter pressed into her side. She grabs at the back of Louis' shirt to hold her and herself up, Louis gripping the table so hard her knuckles are white as she laughs hilariously. Niall's pouting away in her seat, trying to shove Zayn off of her, but Zayn only claws at her side again. 

"Get off of me, I don't like you," she whines, crossing her arms in a huff. Zayn laughs some more, nuzzling her forehead into Niall's neck. "My nose really fucking hurts by the way." 

"What's so funny?" Harry's standing at their table, her long curly hair falling past her shoulders, books and a tray of food in hand. She sits down across from them with a quizzical expression on her face. 

"Oh, good, water," Niall says, grabbing Harry's bottle off her tray and chugging it down. She sighs, refreshed. 

"Uh, yeah, you can have that," Harry says, futilely. She turns to Liam and Louis, eyebrow raised. 

Louis' laughing too hard to speak still, but Liam's calming down some. "Niall just — Zayn made Niall — ew," she manages through laughs. 

"So helpful," Harry gripes, shaking her head. 

Niall coughs. "I was trying to get a perfect 10 on my belch, and Zayn fucking scared the crap out of me," she grumbles, still trying to shove Zayn off of her.

"And it was the funniest sound in my life," Louis says, wiping tears from her eyes. 

"It wasn't that funny," Niall mutters. 

"Babe, yes it was," Zayn says, finally lifting her head off of Niall's. She keeps her elbow looped with hers though. 

"Okay..." Harry says, biting into her sandwich. 

"You had to be there," Liam says, giggling just a little as she reaches for another fry. 

"Hey! I paid for these and I've only eaten like, two," Louis says, taking the fry from Liam's hand, biting into it. 

"It's called sharing, Lou," Liam says pointedly, taking the rest of it back from her, popping it in her mouth. 

"Ooh, fries," Zayn says, reaching across Niall and Louis for the basket. She brings it back with her, and tries to feed Niall one. 

"You all owe me four bucks, each," Louis huffs, giving up. 

"Come on, babe," Zayn says to Niall, waving a fry in her face. Niall keeps her nose in the air, turning her face away. Zayn runs a finger along her cheek, "I'm sorry, okay? It was just fun." She starts to mumble stuff into Niall's ear, to which Harry, Liam, and Louis groan quite obnoxiously, before Liam's all nuzzled into Louis' neck again, Louis resting her head back on top of hers.

"God," Harry groans. "Why don't you just tape a sign on my forehead that says 'fifth wheel.' You're all disgusting."

"Boo hoo. 'S what you get for being the only straight person in the group," Louis teases and Harry sticks her tongue out. Louis spitefully grabs Liam's cheeks and kisses her full on the mouth. 

~

"I can't believe I'm having another snowless Christmas," Niall whines into Louis' shoulder. "It's just wrong."

Louis pushes her off. "Then maybe you shouldn't have moved here. We only get wind and rain, no snow. Unfortunately," Louis frowns. She's never had a real white Christmas — once she went to her grandmother's the whole holiday break and it had snowed, but that's expected in the north. Louis wants the surprise of snow, waking up to a blanket of white in the morning, making snowmen with the prospect of apple cider or hot chocolate awaiting her inside. She pulls Niall back, looping her arm around her neck, sighing wistfully. 

"You should've seen the snow in Europe," Niall sighs. "Big, fat, white globs of pure happiness and joy. The ground ten feet under. _That's_ Christmas," Niall reminisces. She had been an army brat, born in the USA but lived all over Europe until she got to eighth grade. Louis isn't jealous, not at all. Not of the snow, not of the travel, not of the adventure. Nope. None of it. 

"Niall are you whining about snow again?" Liam asks from the doorway, Zayn shaking her head behind her.

"Babe, you've got to get over it, it's been six years," Zayn tuts, setting down the bag of food they bought. 

"I can't!" Niall exclaims. "You don't just forget snow, Zayn! Especially perfect, wonderful, precious flakes that exist now only in my dreams."

"Alright, that does it," Louis grumbles, sliding away from under her; Niall barely catches herself before she face plants into the bed. "At least you've had snow, Niall. You forget we all get this weather _every_ year." Louis crosses her arms and Liam comes up behind her, resting her chin on her shoulder, cheek pressed to cheek. She's warm, like always, so, so warm. And so very soft. Inviting, like a pillow. Louis leans into her, feeling much too blissful for the occasion, but she doesn't care because Liam presses a kiss to her cheek. 

"I'm sorry," Niall says. "I just miss it. I'll shut up now."

"Something we'll all appreciate greatly," Zayn teases, walking over to kiss her forehead. She rubs off the dark lipstick mark she left and plops next to Niall, snuggled close. She turns back to Liam and Louis. "Are we starting the movie now or?"

"Actually," Louis starts, pushing off of Liam. She grabs her hand and starts towards the door, Liam looking confused. "You two are gonna stay here and watch it, me and Liam are going out."

"Lou," Liam tries. "We already bought all that food."

Louis shrugs. "Niall'll eat it. Come on, we need date number two before break," Louis persists. "A good one," she adds. 

Liam sighs. "Fine. Bye, guys," she waves off to Zayn and Niall, who apparently only heard that they would be leaving, and that was all they needed to pounce on each other. "For God's sake," Liam groans as Louis pulls her away. 

"I know, they're like rabbits," Louis notes. 

Zayn flips them off, not taking her lips off of Niall's. "Shut the door," she mumbles, waving them off, and Louis does just so, not wanting to subject herself to witnessing that any further. 

"Where are we going?" Liam asks as they step in the elevator. Her stare is earnest and it seems to brighten up the dim compartment they're in. 

Louis smiles. "To the movies. And dinner." 

Liam stares at her. "Louis, that is literally what we were just about to do."

"Yes, but, now we're _alone_. And going _out_ ," Louis says pointedly, poking Liam's cheek, right where her dimple would appear if she gets her to smile enough, which she does, and Louis pokes it again when it shows. 

Liam rolls her eyes. "Oh, alright, but you better let me pay." She points at Louis.

"Well, duh. Honey, I ain't made of money," Louis snorts. 

Liam giggles. "Was that supposed to rhyme? That was horrible."

"Shush," Louis says, biting at her ear as the elevator door opens. They exit and walk out the building, heading whichever way Louis wants them to go. She stops in front of a burger joint, Liam's hand still clasped tightly in hers. "Oh, darn, you can't have cheese on your burger can you?" Liam shakes her head. "What a shame," Louis tuts. Liam makes a sound of fond disagreement, this time she's pulling Louis inside to the building. They get seated at a table in the back, near the bathrooms. 

Louis opens her menu. "Are there any other allergies or conditions of yours I should know about?" Louis asks, teasing.

"No," Liam says, trying to hide her smile. "Although, I'm starting to hear this faint, annoying, buzz in my ear," she presses her finger repeatedly against her ear, mocking discomfort. 

"Ha, ha, so funny," Louis deadpans.

"There it is again!" Liam says, messing with her ear again, smiling complacently at Louis.

Louis hits her on the head with the menu, to which Liam sticks her tongue out. The waitress comes and takes their order soon, and Louis realizes this is the first time she and Liam have been in a restaurant together since the night of the mural painting, the night they kissed...among other things. The heat rises to Louis' cheeks and she tries to shake it off.

"Hey, when's our next competition thing?" she asks Liam.

"Um, dunno," she frowns. "I think Harry said there wouldn't be another one until February? Once everyone's all adjusted to second semester, or so the other advisors say. They don't do much, according to Harry."

"Shame, I know how much she enjoys those," Louis says, empathizing. 

"Yeah," Liam agrees, nodding. She takes a sip of her lemonade. "Okay, so this is supposed to be like a make up first date? Like a redo?" she asks and Louis nods. "Okay, so, we have to do all these first date things, then. Asking all these questions to get to know each other better."

Louis chuckles. "I think that's for people who haven't been dating for over a month, much less known each other for three." 

Liam waves her hand. "Nonsense, we can still do it. Okay, favorite color?"

"Liam, if you seriously don't know my favorite color—"

"I know it's orange, just play along, please," she begs and Louis concedes. "And pick a different color, while you're at it."

"Excuse me," Louis starts, raising her eyebrow. 

"Kidding," Liam says, holding her hands up with a tiny smile. "Okay, next. Um... favorite movie?"

"Finding Nemo," Louis answers quickly. "Watched it almost non-stop with my sisters. I can quote it backwards and forwards, in my sleep."

"Alright," Liam laughs. After a beat she raises her eyebrows.

"Oh, right!" Louis says. "What's yours?"

"Um... I don't know actually. There's Toy Story, and Lion King, and well, that's just anything Disney then, but then there's also —"

"Why'd you want me to ask you if you don't even have an answer?" Louis laughs at her. Liam tries to protest but Louis switches the topic. "Next, what's your favorite thing to do with your sisters?"

"Oh, see that's a good one, why can't I come up with good ones," Liam pouts. "Uh, I guess it would be... we used to help Mom with the baking. Like, all the time. And sometimes she would leave us in charge and we would make a big mess of it and..." Liam trails off and smiles. "She would always be mad at first but then she'd just make us clean it up and be on our way, and we would have warm chocolate chip cookies and some cold milk right afterwards. Oh, my God, Louis those cookies were the best, you have to try them," Liam says, her grin actually splitting her face in two.

"Maybe I will," Louis tells her, really hoping she can. Not just because they sound delicious, but because of the look on Liam's face; she'd do anything to make her feel at home. And she enjoyed being at her house, and she wants to spend as much time with Liam as she can in the span of forever. 

"How about you and your sisters?" Liam asks.

"Watching Finding Nemo," she says and Liam cocks her head to the side as if to say _seriously?_. "No, no, it was... it was like a thing, we did. Whenever one of them needed it, or just wanted to, really. We'd make a big fort with the couches and blankets and bring in three big bowls of popcorn — that was like nine bags, Mom always got mad, but it was too late," Louis smiles at the memory. "And we would make a day of it, after the movie was over we would just stay in our fort and be, or we would play hide and seek, or whatever silly things they wanted. It was... it was fun," Louis ends, feeling the warmth resound in her chest. 

"That sounds really nice, Lou," Liam says, squeezing her hand across the table. 

The food comes then, two big burgers and an unnecessary amount of french fries. They continue Liam's little game through all the chewing and swallowing. They stop really asking favorites and just start talking, and Louis thinks she's figuring out more from just being naturally with Liam, like they're supposed to be. 

"I've been wanting to get a cartilage piercing for a while," Louis says after Liam talks about her ear piercing experience.

"I don't think I'd ever get another piercing," Liam shrugs. "Just not me. Two was enough," she says, almost laughing at the memory of her elementary aged self getting poked at with a needle in the mall. 

"What about tattoos?" Louis asks, dipping her last fry in ketchup.

"Maybe," Liam says. "It depends. What about you?"

"I definitely want one," Louis says, wiping her hands. "Or some," she adds, smiling a little. "Always have. I just think they're cool. Being able to have, like, something permanent like that on your skin? With you forever? That's... I just love that. I don't know what I would get though..."

Liam takes another sip of lemonade. "Yeah, part of me thinks that cool, but it — it would have to mean something, you know?"

"Yeah, of course, but I think all tattoos mean something," she says. "People wouldn't get them if they didn't."

"True," Liam nods. "But I mean like, something really important, long lasting, not just 'cause it's on my skin forever. I've got to really want it," she says, with a pretty strong conviction; Louis thinks she must've thought about this before, which surprises her a little.

"Yeah..." she says, still trying to figure out what she would get. "Well, I've been trying to get one forever, but my mom — that wasn't going to happen. But now, I'm 18, I can do whatever I want. But I'm lacking a little in the funding department," she sighs, resting her chin on her glass.

Liam laughs a little, understanding. The waiter comes back with the check, and Louis and Liam each pay their share before they leave, Louis grabbing one last fry off of Liam's plate. 

"So, what movie are we seeing?" Liam asks, swinging their hands together. 

"Whatever's playing," Louis says, gesturing out with her arm wide. "Unless they're all lame."

Liam nods and continues to swing their arms, decreasing the arc each time until they're just holding hands as they walk along. But by then, they're at the theater.

They stare at the selections for a while before picking a romantic comedy about some singers and a bartender on the run. Louis buys them both candy since they already ate, and since she is the one taking Liam out, and Liam deserves nothing but the best. The theater they're in is small, and they sit in the very back, right in the middle, having got their early enough to pick their seats. 

Louis props her feet up on the seat in front if her, opening the candy box. "Now, despite what you may think, Liam, we will actually be _watching_ the movie," Louis teases.

Liam blushes, hitting Louis' arm. "Shush." She holds her hand out and Louis pours some candy in it.

No one else really enters the theater, the movie being in its third week of release. Which is fine, because Louis and Liam basically have the back row to themselves. They try to be serious, but the movie isn't that entertaining, and throwing candy pieces into each other's mouths is more so. They're making a horrible mess of it, but they can only aim so well in the dark, and they're laughing and shushing each other throughout the majority of the movie. And they do make out, it was bound to happen, Louis' warning from earlier completely empty. They really could've done this in Liam's room like they already planned, Louis thinks, but it's much more exhilarating and enjoyable this way. Definitely. 

Once the movie's over they sidle back to the dorms, walking lazily and laughing hard about nothing, far too content in their own world. Louis honestly can't believe her life, having Liam in it, this way, and _reciprocated_ is far more than she could've ever asked for. She doesn't really understand it, but she's not trying to all that much, just enjoying her time with Liam and hoping she gets as much as she can; hoping it never ends. 

"Oh, my God," Louis laughs. "How cliche, I took you to dinner and a movie on our first date."

"First?" Liam laughs. "Louis, let's be real here this is like our twentieth date. Our real first date wasn't even first, just because we went outside doesn't make it a date."

"I know," Louis says, bumping shoulders with Liam. "But, still."

"Well, I enjoyed it," Liam says, kissing Louis on the cheek, big and sloppy, and somehow — Louis doesn't know how she does it — meaningful, passing every bit of feeling and electricity she possibly could just from a press of lips to skin. Louis loves the feeling. "I enjoy anything we do," Liam adds, resting her head against Louis' briefly before falling back to walk comfortably beside her.

"Me too," Louis says, pulling Liam closer, squeezing their hands tighter. She brings them up to her lips and kisses the back of Liam's hand, letting it fall back into a swing as they approach the dorm building. 

~ 

Their clothes were basically off when they walked on the floor, the tiny elevator only adding to the fuel that was simmering more and more as the night went on. It's almost impulse, a need inside Louis she can't explain, a tug she can't stop. It all starts with a swell of the heart, warmth and energy and love and _Liam_ surging through her and it flows through all her veins. Every nerve in her body is itching for Liam, every inch of her skin demanding to be touched by Liam's soft fingers.

Louis almost shoves her into her room, which is readily available since Zayn and Niall have occupied the other room. She locks the door, double checking before she's kicking her shoes off. She turns to Liam, who's already at her bed, and Louis really feels the size of her room in the steps it takes her to reach Liam. 

They fall back on the bed and Louis connects their lips almost desperately, sucking at Liam's bottom lip immediately. Liam moans and lets Louis slip her tongue in, kissing her back just as hard. She takes her fingers down Louis' back and sucks on her tongue, both their lips moving wildly. Louis slides her hands underneath Liam's shirt, doing her best to quickly unclasp her bra. She brings her palms back up and around Liam's breasts, kneading and twisting her nipples the way she knows drives Liam crazy. Which obviously works, because Liam's moaning again and fidgeting under Louis, her nails digging into her back. Louis breaks away from Liam's mouth and sucks at her neck, moving one hand down her stomach, trailing it lightly, almost fleetingly, going down to her waistline. Louis unbuckles Liam's jeans, not wanting to waste any time. Liam helps her slide them down, tugging at Louis' hair, pushing her head between her legs as soon as they're off. 

Louis kisses her thighs, holding her hips, thumbs pressing into the skin. She brings her mouth up to Liam's cunt, grazing her tongue over it just enough for Liam to shudder. She tugs at Louis' hair again and Louis starts sucking, moaning out herself. She starts working her tongue, traveling all along the different facets of Liam. Liam stops her, pulling her head away; Louis whines and Liam's pouting, looking a little frustrated. 

"Turn around," she says, grabbing at Louis. 

Louis' confused for a second before, "Oh," and she slides off her own jeans. "You sure?" she asks, because she has to, it's Liam. 

Liam nods almost vehemently and reaches for Louis' ankle. Louis settles herself over Liam, repositioning so her thighs rest on either side of Liam's neck. She's about to ask if this is okay again when —

 _Oh_. She gasps out as Liam's tongue strokes against her, flicking around before Louis can even process the first one. Louis brings her mouth back down to Liam, holding herself up with her arms to the side so her chin doesn't dig into Liam's skin. She nips at the nub of Liam's cunt, bringing her tongue down, alternating between flat presses and skinny flicks. 

Liam's fingers are digging into her hips, Louis' body staring to tingle from the sensations of Liam's tongue swirling around her soft skin, flitting into the wetness there. Louis licks at Liam for a while, moaning out when Liam's tongue darts inside her, Liam moaning when Louis tugs at her with light bites. Louis readjusts her arm so one is under Liam's thigh so she can reach in farther, her chin grazing along Liam as she slides her tongue inside. Liam gasps and does the same to Louis, not hesitating to curl and unfurl her tongue around inside her, moving in small, quick circles. Louis moans out into Liam, the sound being swallowed up by her pussy, her tongue drowning in the taste. She traces the insides of Liam, slowly and teasingly, as best she can, running her chin along Liam's nub as she does so. Liam's legs are shaking, going tense under Louis' work, but she doesn't stop hers. She slides her tongue out and laps at Louis, running all along her core, almost tantalizingly slow. Louis moans — much louder than she had intended — when Liam simultaneously slips a finger in, working it all around, and Louis can feel her own legs begin to shake.

She quickens the movements of her tongue, soaking up every inch of Liam as she does so. She pulls out and brings her finger to meet her mouth, with some strain from her arm but it's worth it. She kneads at Liam's core, rounding her between the pads of her pinched fingers as she slides her tongue along the rest of Liam. Louis can feel Liam gasping in hot breaths against her own cunt, and the feeling is electrifying, making Louis work faster on Liam. Liam's grip is tighter, her legs starting to buckle. Louis keeps working her, coaxing her with her tongue as Liam moans just a bit more. Liam's nails are pressed so deep into Louis' hips she's sure there'll be crescent marks in the muscle there. Liam's toes curl and her thighs buck as she comes, Louis feeling her muscles contracting under her mouth. She continues to stroke her with her index until she's ridden it out completely, and Liam breathes deep only a few times before picking up her work with even more vigor than before. Louis rests her head completely, her hands curled into fists, her teeth grazing at the soft skin of Liam's thigh as Liam's tongue curls around every single part of Louis that her fingers — she added another — aren't already touching. She pumps them in and out, circling around Louis, stroking her walls and her tongue absorbs the rest of her. Louis bites down on her knuckles, afraid she'll scream, legs shaking hard and a surge of heat growing, expanding all through her thighs and down to her toes, which are now curling themselves. She feels like she's exploded when she comes, moaning out into Liam's thigh, her body falling as slack as she'll let it given that Liam is still under her. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly as Liam pulls her fingers out, still grazing her tongue over Louis until her breathing returns to normal. 

Liam pats at Louis' thigh after a few moments, and Louis swings her legs from around her, turning her body back to face Liam. She crawls up and kisses her lightly, all the energy in her body seeming to have gone, but it's replaced with a warm glow. She smiles into Liam's neck, nuzzling her head there, throwing an arm over Liam's stomach. Liam pulls her tighter to her chest, tangling their bare legs together. Her fingers card through Louis' hair, scratching lightly at her scalp. Louis hums, dancing her fingers around Liam's belly button. 

They lay there for a while, breathing in the same rhythm, resting as one. Louis feels Liam shiver a little, so she untangles herself from her to grab a blanket. She gives her her underwear back and puts hers back on, giving Liam an extra pair of her sweats before she slides her own pair on. Liam smiles gratefully at her and slips them on, readjusting on Louis' bed so her head rests on the pillow. Louis throws the blanket over her before sliding in herself. They immediately retangle their limbs, feet curling around each other and hands pressed into hips. Louis lays her head on Liam's chest, her beating heart the only sound in the dark room, the only thing Louis wants to hear, reverberating through her body, filling her up, surrounding her. And Liam kisses her forehead, rests her cheek against Louis' head. Louis thinks she's being impossible again, being so soft and tender and careful, warm and bright and everything; a soft ember of that cinnamon sugar glow Louis lets herself be enveloped in again, holding on just as tight, everything sealed between them. Louis kisses Liam's collarbone and thinks she could lay here forever.

 **epilogue**

_a few months later_

"I'm proud of you guys," Harry beams at all of them, from the coffee table pedestal they pushed her up on. It seems impossible that she could get taller, looming over everyone with her lanky limbs as is, now there's an extra two feet and Louis' surprised her head isn't touching the ceiling. Every now and then the frizz of the curls atop her head brushes it, and Louis watches as more and more begin to pop out of place. Harry — Harry looks absolutely radiant, if she's being honest. She's all smiling big and stupid, her cheeks flushed, eyes round and wide, her hair flying all over the place — as usual — a plastic cup in her hand, marker all over her arms. 

"To Harry!" Liam yells, raising her cup in the air, looking so fucking _happy_. 

"To Harry!" they all chorus back from the surrounding couches; they're like a target, Harry right in the center. Louis taps her cup with Liam's and Niall's and Zayn's, before taking a swig herself. 

Niall's all cuddled up in Zayn's lap, sending warning glances to Perrie from across the room, because apparently Niall's the jealous type and holds a mean grudge, but Zayn just laughs and rubs he head, kissing her fondly. Liam loops her arm through Louis', leaning in to kiss her neck. 

They just won another competition, the game Assassin being played with water guns since it's now spring. That's four out of five they've won so far, and everyone, _everyone_ — Liam made sure — is doing their best for Harry. She's too sweet and earnest to be let down so much, and she just wants good things for everyone here, regardless of the other less than helpful R.A's. Harry stayed in the game the longest, which surprised everyone, but they're proud of her — and happy for her. Louis can feel all the genuine glee and love floating through this room, all for Harry. She's a people person and she's got her charm, and she's got her wits about her, lacking in some grace, but she still managed to take out the final girl from floor one with a sneak attack in the Commons — subtle and secretive and amazing. Louis was getting some lunch when it happened, and she may or may not have abandoned her tray at the counter to run up and pounce on Harry like a koala, grinning like a maniac. _You did it, you did it, you did it!_ wrapped up in the embrace as Harry hugged Louis back, gripping her tight as she laughed in amazement and most likely disbelief. Louis kissed her cheek sloppily and dragged her off by the hand, them running wildly through campus, telling anyone from their floor they saw that they won, bursting into the building with cheers. Everyone was thrilled and demanded an immediate celebration, and here they are in their little lobby, treating Harry like the princess she is. After, of course, pinning her down and doodling all over her skin with markers since this is all they've got until next Monday, Spring Break starting up tomorrow, and Louis feels lucky enough to spend it with people she considers family, a rag tag group of girls she's pretty thankful for, especially Harry, and especially Niall, and especially Zayn, and especially, especially, _definitely, especially_ , Liam. She kisses her because she can, because she feels like it, because she loves her, because she's just really fucking happy. Liam kisses her back with a soft start, focusing on the melding of their lips before the mingling of tongues and the grazing over teeth. Louis pulls back because she can never breathe right when it comes to Liam — _damn it_ — and grins at her sweet, soft, impossible girl. Liam smiles and presses a kiss to her nose. 

"To you guys," Harry says over the clamor, her eyes going watery. "Really, I — you all deserve this just as much. I'm — thank you. So much. I love you guys."

The room erupts into obnoxious "aww"s and they pull Harry off the table just to dog pile on top of her. _Yup, definitely family_ , Louis thinks as Niall laughs in her ear and Zayn's knee digs into her hip and Liam's fingers lace with hers. 

Liam tugs on them, bucking her head once she's got Louis' attention. "We gotta get going." 

Louis nods, _yeah, okay_ and struggles to wriggle free from the mass of bodies on top of her. Once she's free she helps Liam out, pulling her up with a quick jerk of the hand. Liam smiles thanks before they go off to their rooms, packing any extra things they might've missed. Louis can soon hear the noise dying down, and the other girls moving back through the halls, heading back to their rooms for some rest. She emerges from her room with her bag, Liam exiting hers at the same time, beaming when she sees Louis. They walk up to Harry and the others, Zayn throwing chips in Niall's mouth on the floor, Harry sitting in the big arm chair, looking dazed and pleased. 

Liam drops her bags and runs to Harry, landing in her lap with a loud groan from Harry.

"You're leaving already?" Harry asks and Liam nods, getting pulled in for a hug. Louis lets them be and goes off to Niall and Zayn.

Niall glances at the bag in her hand and gets up from her spot on the carpet to wrap her arms around Louis' neck. "Have fun doing whatever it is the fuck you're doing," she says and Louis laughs. 

"Liam wouldn't tell you?" she asks, adjusting the strap of her bag.

"No," Niall pouts, "but she told Zayn. Who won't tell me," Niall says accusingly. 

Zayn shrugs. "Babe, I'm not supposed to tell. You know you'd go blabbing to Louis."

"That's the _point_!" Niall says, stomping her foot.

Louis laughs, shrugging and shaking her head as she goes to hug Zayn. Liam's planned this whole "surprise" thing for Spring Break, just her and Louis off doing God knows what. Louis begged multiple times for Liam to say, but she wouldn't budge, but after a few days Louis got her to say it was the beach, but Louis knows there's more to it than that, and she can't wait. Just her and Liam. For a week. Alone. At the beach. Bikinis and sunshine and the ocean breeze and _just Louis and Liam_. Louis' been looking forward to this for a while. 

"Have fun, be safe," Zayn mumbles into her ear. 

"Why?" Louis asks incredulously. "Did the Liam Payne plan something dangerous?" She wiggles her eyebrows and Zayn slaps her arm.

"No, just be safe. It's an expression," Zayn says, folding her arms. Louis sticks her tongue at as teasingly as she can without pulling a muscle before Liam comes running past her and attacking Zayn. Zayn hugs her back tight and kisses her cheek lightly. Niall stands off to the side, arms wide and face expectant — _stupid_ — Louis shoves her before walking off to Harry. 

"Hey," she says when she reaches Harry. 

"Hey," Harry repeats, still glowing from earlier. 

They stare at each other for a bit, open eyes and slack faces before Louis breaks it. "Do I not get a goodbye hug?"

Harry chuckles. "I thought you were gonna sit in my lap like Liam."

"Don't be silly, I'm not five. And you're not Santa Claus," Louis says. And because she is actually five, she jumps into Harry's lap anyways.

An "oomph" sounds from Harry before she's laughing again and wrapping her arms around Louis' back. Louis holds her tight, resting her head on top of hers. "I'm glad you're our R.A. You're a good friend," Louis mumbles into her curls.

Harry squeezes her back. "So are you. And thank you."

"For what?" Louis asks, lifting her head off.

Harry shrugs. "For, you know—" Her eyes flick off to her left and Louis follows them, seeing Liam being spun around by Niall, laughing loud. Harry clears her throat. "You — you're really good for her, you may not know it, but you are. I've never seen her so happy."

Louis' heart actually floats. Floats right up and in her throat and she chokes on it and her eyes well up and she's blushing like she never does. She glances back to her — her favorite girl — and feels her stomach swoop to match the fluttering of her heart and she smiles. "Yeah," she says, turning back to Harry. "She's good for me, too. I just want to give her everything," she almost whispers it, like she shouldn't admit it, but it's true, and it's Harry, and it's alright. 

Harry's lips turn up and she nuzzles her head in Louis' neck, squeezing her back again and Louis catches the tear from her eyelid with a swipe of her fingertips. She kisses Harry's head and clambers off, fanning her face so her make-up doesn't run. _Goddamn Liam Payne, got me crying just at the thought of you_. 

Louis nudges Harry's knee with hers. "Congrats, too. You did great."

Now Harry blushes. "Thanks. Have fun on your trip."

"Thanks," Louis says, smiling one last time before turning away. She takes in the sight of Liam as she walks towards her, all shining and bright and beautiful, talking happily. She kisses her shoulder when she gets to her.

"Ready?" Liam turns to her and Louis nods, her nose brushing against her skin.

"You two are disgusting," Niall groans.

"Says you," Louis comments, waving between her and Zayn. "The 24/7 hump squad."

Liam snickers and Niall opens her mouth to protest, but Zayn cuts her off with a shrug and a giant kiss, all gross and gargly and she's pushing Niall back on the couch in a flash. Louis makes a noise of disgust and grabs Liam's hand, pulling her away.

"Goodbye," Louis states pointedly, like it's a noun, not a farewell. Liam laughs and pushes her into the elevator.

~

"So what's this important place you're taking me to?" Louis asks Liam as they walk along the pavement, fingers tangled together. Liam's got a flower in her hair and she's wearing a cover up and a tank top over her bikini, looking impossibly beautiful, especially in the sunlight.

"You'll see," Liam nudges Louis' shoulder, a coy smile on her face. 

"Well, what if I'm allergic to this something and you won't know 'til we get there and your whole planned is ruined," Louis says. "Just looking out for you, really."

Liam smiles. "You're not allergic, I know it."

"Alright," Louis concedes, rolling her eyes as the sun hits the skin of her stomach and legs. She's only in her bikini top and some shorts, sunglasses perched on her head. 

She and Liam have been at the beach for three days now, enjoying the sunshine and sand and ocean. Liam's treated Louis to dinner and little pillow chocolates and back massages and kisses and touches and late nights in their soft bed and now this, whatever it is, and Louis feels a little inadequate. She wants to _do_ something, wants to do everything for Liam, but she hasn't been given the chance, Liam taking charge of everything. Louis loves to be pampered, she does, but she just wishes it wasn't by the girl who deserves the universe, that just makes her deserve it _more_ , and Louis' not sure how much of it she can give her.

Liam leads her down a corner and there's a bunch of buildings all lined up in a row, people milling about all around them. Louis stares at the water ahead as they walk, watching the waves overlap and the horizon shifting slightly with the current, birds flying overhead and swimmers splashing and floating. Liam stops in front of a building and Louis was a little too mesmerized to notice, and Liam's staring at her, half nervous and half expectant. Louis looks up the sign on the building behind her and frowns.

"Liam," Louis starts, a laugh beginning, "this is a tattoo parlor." 

"I know," Liam says, looking right in Louis' eyes, the mocha brown staring deep. 

"But..." Louis looks between Liam and the shop. "Wait, what are you —"

Liam interrupts her, squeezing their fingers. "You said you've always wanted one. And I never got you anything for your birthday — well, I was saving for this, actually. And I —" she gestures back to the shop. "I want us to get some tattoos."

Louis cannot believe her, she is so — this is absolutely _Liam_ , paying attention to one thing Louis said she liked, and doing whatever it takes to give it to her. Louis shakes her head and grins. She leans in and kisses her, gripping her side with her other hand. She rests her forehead against Liam's and Liam's smiling at her, her breaths still shaky. 

"Wait," Louis says, pulling back. "You said 'us'. You're — I thought you didn't want one unless it was —"

"—meaningful," Liam finishes, nodding her head in affirmation. She tucks some hair behind her ear and bites her lip, clearing her throat. "I can't think of anything more I'd want to get than something that makes me think of you. And you — you're meaningful— ah, you mean a lot to me, Lou. Like, I love you. And I — I want this."

Louis' heart swoops almost as big as her body when she throws herself at Liam, wrapping her up in a tight hug, kissing all she can reach. _I love you, I love you, I love you_. "You — you're —" is all she can manage to say, unable to form a coherent thought because _fuck, Liam_.

Liam laughs into her hair. "Come on, let's go get tatted up." She tugs at Louis' arm and Louis laughs breathlessly and kisses Liam once more before they go in the shop.

They browse for a while, looking at different writings and texts and lines, and little pictures and images but somehow just getting a heart or initials just isn't enough. It's not right. Louis thinks there's so much more to them than that, they're their own being and they need something that reflects forever, strong and permanent, yet simple and easy, something Liam and Louis.

Louis' flipping through some book of pencil stencils of feathers and leaves when Liam gasps from beside her. Louis looks and sees Liam staring at a page, her hand resting on it. Louis peers over to see, and immediately goes back to hers, shaking her head. 

"Liam, we're not getting matching tattoos of a hammer," Louis rolls her eyes, not even understanding _why_ Liam would pick that, or why someone would get that anyways.

"No," Liam says, touching Louis' arm. "We should get, like, screws. You know, 'cause they're like, all — it's like your bound, rooted to whatever it's connected to, you know? Like, here forever, just like a tattoo," Liam stops there and Louis can see in her eyes the _just like us_ and Louis wants to kiss her for all eternity.

She gulps back a bout of tears because _Liam_ and puts her hand on top of hers and smiles. "Yeah, I like that. A lot. Let's do it." 

Liam smiles wide and kisses Louis, soft and sweet and literally everything, everything they are about to be put on their skin forever. Louis loves this, loves Liam, loves them.

Louis tells the man at the counter that they're ready, and he goes to get what he needs. Louis turns back to Liam, who doesn't seem the least bit nervous, and Louis feels proud and she's always going to admire Liam. 

Louis kicks at her foot. "You pick where," she says.

"Um," Liam starts, bringing her finger between her teeth. She looks over Louis, trying to find a spot on the body she thinks will fit. "Well, it wouldn't really make sense to get it anywhere, like, not a joint, since you know..." she trails and Louis nods. She looks at her wrist for a moment, pondering. "Definitely not the elbow, and let's not do knee," she says, pulling her lip through her teeth again and again. She reaches out and grabs Louis' hand, looking at their adjacent wrists. She shakes her head and says, "Ankle."

Louis nods, glancing down at hers, holding her foot out. "'S what I was thinking, too." Because she quite likes the way their ankles cross together when they're laying in bed and thinks that's her favorite place of Liam's to touch with her own skin — soft grazes and gentle rubs and general being, tangled up in every way possible.

Louis goes first, the alcohol wiped against the bone of her ankle propped up on a table. Liam's by her side the whole time the ink marks over the thin skin there; two little lines that mean everything. When it's Liam's turn, Louis can tell her nerves are setting in, her teeth almost chattering as he runs the wipe over her ankle. Louis takes her hand and squeezes it tight, kissing her hand with a "it's not that bad, just two quick lines and it's over," and Liam nods but flinches before the needle even touches her skin. Louis resorts to telling Liam a story about her sisters chopping off her hair in her sleep one night, Liam laughing as she focuses on the retelling of Louis running after them through all the halls in her house, having to get a haircut to fix the mess, her hair shorter for almost all of eighth grade, still bitter to this day. Her story goes on much longer than it takes for him to give Liam the tattoo, but he just lets them be, wrapping up her ankle and walking off to the counter until Louis' done. 

Louis thinks Liam's brave, and she kisses her again, running her hands though her hair, vanilla wafting through the kiss. Louis nudges at Liam's nose with her own, smiling lightly before they go up to pay the man. He gives them the cream to make sure their screws — _their_ — heal up nicely and off they go. 

They leave the shop with fingers laced together almost as tight as the bandages wrapped around their ankles.


End file.
